Juice hesitantly took his cut with him to TM. He wasn't sure how it would be received if he walked in without it, but he carried it in instead of wearing it so he wouldn't give anyone the impression he was back. They had driven there in Shawn's car since Juice had never bothered to pick up his bike from there over his two week absence. He figured it would need to be repainted anyway once he officially turned in his patch.
They walked in and saw the usual group of club members, hang arounds, and some family. It wasn't as full as it usually was for a lockdown though.
"You sure we need to be here?" Shawn asked quietly.
"That's what Tig said," Juice answered.
Jax saw them and approached them, followed by the rest of the guys. By the looks of it, they had been waiting for them to arrive.
"Put that on," Jax said as he nodded to the cut. "You ain't out, yet, and we need all the help we can get."
Juice didn't move to put the cut on. Instead he gave Jax a suspicious look. Tig touched his shoulder.
"You can help me out. We're looking for the guys who cut up Unser. Leave the IRA to the others, alright?"
Juice looked at Shawn and raised an eyebrow. She shrugged a shoulder, but nodded. Shawn figured if it was to help Unser, then it couldn't be too bad. Plus, if Juice had wanted to say no, he would have.
"Fine," Juice said and pulled the cut on. He turned to face her. "I'll be back once we're done. Stay here, alright?"
"Okay," Shawn agreed with a nod. Juice briefly kissed her and went outside with the rest of the guys.
"Go get off your feet," Tig told her as he passed her. "You look about ready to pop."
"Gee, thanks."
Once Juice and her father were gone, Shawn turned and looked around the clubhouse, but saw no one she was interested in speaking to. They had seen Tara outside with the boys on their way in and Shawn assumed Gemma was in the office. Lyla and Nero were no where to be found. Shawn wondered how serious the danger could be if they were allowed to stay at Diosa.
She walked down the hall and into one of the dorms rooms. After shutting the door, she laid down and turned on the small tv to keep herself entertained. The door opened after a little while and Gemma poked her head in.
"Hey, you need anything?" Gemma asked, sounding concerned.
"Nah, I'm good."
Gemma stepped the rest of the way into the room."I, uh, just wanted to say sorry. You know, for what happened a couple weeks ago. I heard Tara was naming Wendy as a guardian for the boys and kind of lost my shit."
"Okay."
"That's it? Okay?"
"Look, I'm not mad. I'm just... done."
"You and Juice still thinking about leaving?"
"Not thinking about it anymore. We are leaving. We have nothing against anyone. This just isn't a life we want anymore."
"Maybe you should think about making up with Jax and Tara before you go," Gemma suggested, but her tone indicated she wasn't happy with Shawn's answer. "Tara's pregnant, again. I'd hate for you to not be able see the kids when you come visit."
"I'll think about it," Shawn said. "Thanks for letting me know."
Gemma nodded and shut the door and Shawn went back to watching tv. Or she tried to at least. She couldn't stop wondering what would happen if they sent Tara to prison while she was pregnant.
She wasn't sure how long it took her to nod off, but it was felt like it had only been for a moment before Juice was sitting next to her, gently shaking her awake.
"Hey, Shawn. Wake up."
"Hey," she said sleepily.
"You tired?"
"I guess so. I've been sleeping like shit at night since I can't get comfortable anymore. Guess it caught up to me," she told him. "You all done? Can we go home?"
"Uh, no. Sorry. We're on for real lockdown now. Everyone is here."
Shawn sat up. "Something else happen?"
Juice nodded. "Phil and V-lin were killed by the IRA."
"Oh, no," Shawn said sadly.
"Yeah. They cut them to pieces," he said before thinking better of it. He regretted it instantly as her eyes became teary. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay. I just need a minute."
"Alright. Whenever you're ready, why don't you head out to the bar? Lyla's here with the kids. You're all going to have to stay the night tonight."
"Where will you be?"
"With Tig staking out some places looking for the Irish."
"Juice," Shawn said concerned.
"I know. I was supposed to just help with the guys who hurt Unser, but Phil and V-lin took care of you after the incident with Laroy. I have to help the guys make this right."
"There is no making this right. Even if you find those guys, it isn't going to bring them back. If anything this will just make things worse."
"This is what we do," Juice reasoned.
"We? So, you're one of them, again?"
"Just for now. Once this is over, I'm done and we can go."
Shawn sighed, but nodded. She knew she needed to trust him even if it felt like they were sucking him back in. "Alright. When are you leaving?"
"I got some time. Jax is doing something with Nero. I'm here waiting for SAMBELL to get us some intel."
"Okay. Is there food out there? I'm starving."
"You should be. You slept through lunch."
"What time is it?"
"After 4."
"Wow. Guess I was a lot more tired than I thought."
They left the room and Juice told one of the Cro Eaters to get Shawn something so she could sit. Shawn went over to sit with Lyla and Ellie on one of the couches. Kenny and Piper were playing pool.
"Remember when they used to just throw the balls around the table?" Shawn asked Lyla as she watched Piper line up a shot.
"Yeah. Simpler times," Lyla said wistfully.
The Cro Eater brought Shawn her food and she thanked her for it, but looked around to see where Juice had disappeared to. She spotted him over at the crowded bar talking to some guys from another charter. Shawn sighed as she took a bite.
"Something on your mind, darling?" Lyla asked.
"No. It's okay," Shawn said as she pushed her feelings aside. "Just starving."
"Baby girl in there is getting big," she said and reached over to rub her belly.
"Yeah. We had an appointment last week. Everything looks good. She just needs to gain some more weight."
"When are you due?" Ellie asked.
"10 more weeks. Doctor thinks she might come early."
"Doctor thinks or Mommy hopes?" Lyla asked with a laugh.
"Little bit of both," Shawn said and smiled.
When it was beginning to get dark outside, Juice left with the other guys. Shawn hung out with Lyla and the kids. She couldn't help but notice that Tara was keeping her distance from both her and Gemma. Even the few times Able ran over to talk to Shawn or show her a picture he drew, Tara still said nothing. Even Gemma kept her distance, only checking on everyone occasionally. Shawn realized that even with Clay gone, Gemma was still playing Queen Bee.
When it got late, Shawn helped Lyla get the kids ready to sleep on the couches. Once the lights were out, they headed into the dorm room Shawn had napped in earlier and made themselves comfortable, too. Shawn offered to let Lyla share the room with her since Tara and the boys were in the other room and she figured Lyla wouldn't want to sleep on the floor. Lyla filled Shawn in on the Diosa girl who had gone missing and turned up murdered since Shawn had decided to stay away from Diosa during the last couple weeks. Shawn finally admitted to Lyla that she and Juice were planning on leaving and, even though she was sad, Lyla understood. They fell asleep a couple hours later with the tv on.
* * *
Shawn got up before Lyla did the next morning. If she hadn't had to pee like crazy from a baby sitting on her bladder, she probably would have tired going back to sleep. She made her way into the bathroom with a hand on her lower back. The pullout couch mattress must have messed up her back muscles because they were extremely achy. She took her time in there, not able to move as fast as she usually did as she cleaned up a bit. When she left the bathroom a few minutes later, she had been about to go back to sleep, but someone knocked lightly on the door. Shawn opened it to see Ellie standing there.
"Can I use your bathroom?" Ellie asked. "The one down the hall is gross and has panties hanging on hooks in there."
"Sure," Shawn said with a chuckle and moved aside to let her in. "You never minded those panties when you were younger."
"That's because my mom convinced me they were there in case any of the girls had an accident. Now I know better."
"Yeah, that sounds like Donna."
Ellie headed into the bathroom and Shawn sat on the bed. She picked up her phone to check if Juice had messaged her, but there was nothing. Shawn sighed.
"Alright, spill it," Lyla said, startling Shawn. "What's all the sighing about?"
"I think Juice is going to get sucked back into SAMCRO and we're going to end up staying," Shawn confessed. "And by the way, clear your throat or something next time. I thought you were asleep and you scared the shit out of me."
"Better than scaring the baby out of you," Lyla said and sat up. "If any of the guys would ever get out just to keep their woman safe, it's Juice. He's crazy about you. Don't worry so much, okay?"
Shawn agreed and once Ellie came out of the bathroom and Lyla took her own turn in there, all three went out to eat breakfast with Kenny and Piper. Lyla left to a little bit later to take the kids to school and head into Diosa for awhile, leaving Shawn to entertain herself.
She sat at the bar with Chuckie for awhile. He told her that Otto had been killed the night before after killing Toric. Shawn couldn't seem to muster up and sympathy for Toric, but felt sorry for Otto. He probably deserved what he got, he had done a lot of bad shit, but every bad thing he had ever done was for SAMCRO and he got nothing in return.
Shawn went outside later for fresh air and saw Tara and the boys playing on the swing set, again. She didn't go over, instead sitting at a picnic table and playing a game on her phone. She noticed when they began to walk about over to head inside. As they passed, Shawn decided to break the ice and talk to Tara.
"Hey," she said to get her attention. "Congratulations. Gemma told me you're pregnant, again."
"Yes. Thank you," Tara said shortly and continued inside. Shawn rolled her eyes and went back to her phone.
Tara left a little later with Rat to watch her, as did Gemma and Unser. She began to grow bored and starting trying to think of an escape plan when some bikes pulled in. Juice got off his bike and headed towards her.
"Hey, you doing alright?" He asked when he got close. He hugged and kissed her.
"Yeah. Bored as hell," she told him. "You look exhausted. Were you up all night then?"
"We took turns getting some sleep, but not enough," Juice told her. His cell began to ring. He pulled it out of his cut and answered it. As he talked, Shawn traced one of the patches on his chest with her finger. He hung up and looked at her concerned face. "The cut is only temporary."
"I know," she said, but wasn't convinced. "Who was that?"
"Clay's lawyer. Clay arranged to have a conjugal with Gemma."
"Ew."
"Yeah," he chuckled. "Let me go tell Jax. Then I'll meet you in the room. I'm here for awhile and need some rest."
"Okay."
Shawn went back to the room and sat on the bed. She was rubbing her lower back as she stretched when Juice came back in.
"You sore?" He asked.
"Yeah, I think it's the damn mattress."
"That mean you don't want to take a nap with me?"
"I don't know if I can sleep, but I'll lay here with you," she said and they both laid down. "How much longer we here for?"
"We're expecting a call from the Irish tonight at 8. If that goes well, I'll hand Jax my cut and we never have to come back here, again."
"Sounds good."