[Amara's P.O.V]
It's been two days since I've 'woken up.' I spent most of the time with Justin, this is only because he wouldn't leave me alone...and that I wanted him around but mostly because he wouldn't go anywhere.
Honestly, I was enjoying having him around and I can't wait to get out of this hospital already.
Leah, Kate, Levi and Nick came to visit me like almost the entire day yesterday. It was really nice having them around and just talking as a group of friends. It felt good having people who care about me around me, including Justin. I'm really thankful for the group of friends I have. I'm basically considering them as my only family right now. I don't have any real ones around anymore and my friends are the only people around close to that.
Today I was feeling really better than I did two days ago. I feel like I can stand well on my own now meaning I won't need the nurses anymore and I won't be forced to not go anywhere without the help of a nurse, thankfully.
It's really irritating being in hospital because I can't even do a quarter of the things I want to do. For starters, I'm missing a shitload of work at school and I can't even do anything about that. I will be behind by weeks and it'll be the worst thing having to borrow people's notes and all the exhausting catching up.
I won't have a life for at least a week once I'm out of here.
I don't have the energy for it but I need to make sure I get good grades this year to make it to university next year.
University.
These past few months, I haven't been thinking much of the future. I have been taking it one step at a time and thinking only about the present. This is because my life has changed completely these past few months, for the better because I'm not living with Ben anymore.
Thinking of Ben's name brings a twist to my stomach.
I still can't believe he's dead.... like really gone. I'm not sure how I really feel about it although I told Justin that I don't blame him. And I don't, right?
He didn't have a choice, I try to remind myself.
I just wish it was different, I wish he wasn't the one to kill Ben. I wish no one had killed him. But that's messed up, even for me. If he had lived, was he ever going to change? Would I forgive him eventually and would we be a family again? I can never know the answers to these questions because he's gone...
God I need to stop overthinking this, I can't allow myself to do this to myself. I'll try to get over it, it's the least I can do for myself anyway. I can't better everything at once. It has to be one step at a time.
There's no one in the room right now, allowing me to have all these thoughts in my head. Justin should be here in a few minutes because he told me he's going to get me takeaways, I'm completely done with hospital food.
I sit up and smile to myself when I don't feel the pain in my stomach that I felt every time I would sit up. Dr Fegurson mentioned that my liver was slightly impacted by the bullet but not so much that I'd need a liver transplant or anything exreme like that. It just healed on it's own and I'm really grateful. Although I can't stop thinking of what would've happened if I really did need a liver transplant. I have no family members around...but I don't want to keep think about what would have happened to me had that been my sad reality.
"What's going on in that pretty mind of yours?" My head snaps to the source of the voice even though I know pretty well who it is.
I smiled when Justin stood on the doorway with a big McDonald's paperbag in his left hand and his right hand was tucked in the pocket of his black skinny jeans.
I took a once over again, he had on those black skinny jeans with a gold chain on the left side. He looked so much 'badboyish' in them and weirdly, I liked it. I loved it. He looked attractive, as always.
"I really thought you were gonna get us Chinese or something but that's much better." I tell him when he starts to walk towards me and as usual, I shift to the other side and he gets on the bed next to me. I miss my own bed, not this small sized, uncomfortable hospital bed.
"I thought about it but McDonald's was closer and I didn't want to stay away from you for long."
My cheeks burn and Justin kisses my forehead before taking the food out. He hands me fries after putting ketchup all over them. I mumble a thanks and start munching on them, having my drink alongside.
Thirty minutes later, Justin and I have finished everything he bought for us. I ate most of it but I think I deserved it since well I'm the hospitalized one.
"Baby" I whine when Justin gets off the bed and the familiar warmth of his body is gone. The bright smile that reaches his face immidiately is the best thing I've ever seen and from now on, my favorite thing to see.
"I'm coming back baby, let me throw all this in the trash can down the corridor." He says and I pout but eventually nod, which he laughs at.
I play with my fingers until Justin gets back and when he finally did, someone was behind him. I stretch my neck to see Dr Fegurson.
Justin holds a scowl on his face, I actually never understood why he didn't like Dr Fegurson. When I asked him about it, he just told me no reason and changed the topic but there must be something, surely there is.
"Ms Hart, how are you feeling today?" He asked, walking over to me.
"Good, thanks." I tell him meaningfully and he nods.
"Don't thank me, I'm just doing my job." He chuckles
Justin stands back and watches as Dr Fegurson kept on asking if I could walk without feeling pain and all those questions. I answered positively because I was really starting to feel normal again. I don't think I'll need the hospital anymore.
"That's really good, you'll be discharged in two days."
That is the best news I've heard so far and I smile. Monday. I'm being discharged on Monday.
"Wow. That's earlier than I thought but I'm really glad. Thank you so much!" I tell Dr Fegurson excitedly and he nods, a smile on his face.
"Again, don't thank me.You were really lucky Amara, although you still need to look after yourself when you get home. However, I'm sure your fiancèe will help with that." He says. I look at Justin confusingly and he tenses.
Fiancèe?
Wait...what? Can't be. Justin... oh God, really?
I feel myself flush but I'm still really surprised. I know for a fact that Justin told him that we are engaged, he had to be the one or else where could the doctor get this kind of information? False information at that.
I think about correcting the doctor but I end up not saying anything to save Justin from the humiliation. I just nodded and hid a smile when I see Justin look's shoulders visibly relax. It's like he was positive that I was gonna correct Dr Fegurson and then he'd be humiliated in front of him. I can't do that to him...and I know how much he doesn't like him already.
"Well, I'll see you later Ms Hart."
"Amara...just call me Amara." I hate formalities.
He laughs and nods "Okay in that case, you can also call me Chase."
I see Justin getting angry behind him. What is wrong with him anyway?
I return my attention to Dr Fe... to Chase.
"Okay...Chase."
"Dr Fegurson. You will call him Dr Fegurson and you will call her Ms Hart." Justin sounds pissed, his finger waving back and forth between Dr Fegurson and I.
"No Justin, I'll call him whatever I want." I tell him, he can't tell me what to do.
"He's your fucking doctor." He reminds me and I roll my eyes, he's just overreacting. Why is he so against me referring to Dr Fegurson as Chase and him to me as Amara? I agree he's my doctor but it's not like he's my teacher or something. He's not even that older than me, just a few years older.
"I still don't get where I'm not supposed to call him Chase." I shoot back and I can tell how uncomfortable Dr Fegurson...Chase was feeling.
Justin looks really angry now and I'm starting to get annoyed. Why is he behaving this way? I don't like it.
"I'll just leave you two alone. Take care Amara." Chase says and attempts to walk away with some smile on his face but before I can process what was happening, Justin has him by the collar of his coat.
"Justin!" I yell when he lunges and his fist lands on Chase's jaw. Chase stumbles back and holds his jaw when Justin let's go.
I'm off the bed in seconds and nearly fall due to how fast it was.
What the hell is he thinking? He can't assault a doctor in a hospital, he'll get into trouble!
I stand between Justin and Dr Fegurson in my ridiculous blue hospital gown.
"What is wrong with you?" I look at Justin, trying to keep my voice low so that security or anyone doesn't barge in here and see the mess that's happening.
"He pushed it cakes!" Justin yells and I want to punch him in the face myself. How the hell did Dr Fegurson push anything?
I turn to Chase "I'm really sorry for his behavior. Please don't...report him or anything like that please." I hear Justin scoff behind me and I'm trying to not lose it. Seriously. We were having a nice time with lunch and all, and then he does this.
It's like he doesn't understand that he could get into trouble, arrested even for the assault of a doctor in his damned workplace.
"It's fine...I'll just leave." Dr Fegurson says and walks out after fixing his coat. Once I'm alone with Justin, I hear him sigh.
"Cakes-"
"No Justin. Why did you assault him and didn't even show remorse afterwards?"
He laughs and sits on the white chair like I haven't asked him a serious question.
"Didn't you hear him? He called you by your fucking first name."
I throw my hands in the air incredulously "That's because I told him to!" I'm failing to keep my voice low.
"Still. It's inappropriate and you shouldn't call him by his first name either. And the way he was looking at you. It pissed me off."
Of course. This is the root of this behavior towards Dr Fegurson. He thinks Dr Fegurson wants me or something as unsettling as that. I nearly laugh at what he just confessed.
"He doesn't. Stop this, he's a doctor and he's older than me." I tell him to make myself clear before sitting on the edge of the bed directly in front of him.
"I saw the way he looked at you. And the punch...he had it fucking coming. I could've done more so he's fucking lucky I didn't."
"Listen, your jealousy is cute and all but Chase didn't do anything wrong." I tell him with a small smile. His jealousy will still get him into trouble.
"I'm not jealous." He defends himself and I almost smile.
"Really?" I ask and he avoids eye contact.
My anger towards his behaviour is faltering and I am glad.
"Yes."
"Hmm...Okay then."
"Yeah."
"There's something I wanted to tell you though." I smile and his eyes meet mine.
"Which is?"
"I'm just surprised there's no like big engagement ring on my hand, weird right?" I say, bringing my hand in front of me. Justin looks away immidiately and he shifts uncomfortably.
"W..what?"
"My ring, dear fiancèe? Where is it?" I ask and watch him trying not to blush but failing miserably. He looked uncomfortable and it was so cute.
"About that..." he starts.
"I'm listening."
"I...well...it was just like...fuck..." Oh my god nervous Justin is so cute.
Without thinking, I climb off the bed and sit on his lap, both legs on either side of him. He looks at me with wide eyes and I bring my arms around his neck.
"What are you doing?" He asks, his voice hoarse and low. At least he's not stuttering anymore, that was funny.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" I counter and he doesn't say anything, he just watches me.
I lean in and press my lips against his, I hear him breath in sharply before he kisses me back, brushing his tongue against my lower lip and I let our tongues clash. He tastes good, he always did. I hope nobody comes in because I really want to kiss him for long.
I must say, his possessive, jealous behavior earlier was kind of like a turn on for me which is messed up. Even I know. I'm not used to this.
His lips move to my neck, shutting out all my thoughts and I can't help but moan. I've missed this so much, I've missed his lips on me so much. I purse my lips and hold him tighter when he begins to bite, oh god.
His lips move back to mine and I kiss him with much more passion than before. His hands go to my waist and before I know it, one of his hands reach up to move over to my chest, cupping me. Only the thin layer of my hospital gown separates our skin from making contact and that thought is driving me crazy, more than it should.
"Justin" I pant as soon as he releases my lips.
He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes before opening them once we catch our breath.
"I'm sorry." He breathes and my eyes open.
"What?"
"I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have punched him but I was just so angry." He tells me and I smile.
No matter how much we get on a misunderstanding, we always find our way back and say the right thing in the end. I'm happy that he apologized and realized where he was wrong. I'll also try to understand why he doesn't like me calling Dr Fegurson 'Chase' and try to see things more from his perspective because that's what we should be doing.
******