"Troy called, a few times, worried about you" I can't help but roll my eyes.
"They know everything Marcus after you had died, everyone knew everything about you. The suicide attempts, depression everything."
"I was not planning on doing anything stupid, just have time to think that is all" Not that I got much thinking done.
"You never plan, that was the worry, come on you're coming back to mine" Nodding I agree, I don't want to argue tonight.
"Now, come on" Getting up I follow him out to the car, Jackson staying silent the whole drive back, getting out he looks at me.
"I am sorry, I just didn't want Alena hurt again, I know it will take time to figure things out, especially as you shouldn't have your own life for so many years. Stay here until you figure out what you want Marcus" He shouldn't be so kind.
"I already know what I want, either way, I want to be in Alena's and your lives, even just as friends" That is one thing I am sure of now, I can't walk away from Alena again.
"I can't walk away from Alena again, if I knew I would, I wouldn't have come back and let them possibly walk free" We reach the door, and he smiles.
"Good, because me and Alena were talking, and we agreed to try it for real this time, not just two weeks while you were here, but for life" Walking in Alena stands there smiling, she looks far too happy, and once again I feel like something is going to destroy her happiness.
"So, I think we should talk, but tomorrow, when you have less booze in your system" Alena pokes me while talking, nodding I agree.
"Bed then" I laugh at her words shaking my head.
"I am sorry, but I don't do orders, you need to remember that kitten" She smiles and nods.
"That may be, but sometimes you need orders, and the one now is you have to go and sleep off the contents of your stomach" Nodding I walk upstairs, the hushed whispers of Alena and Jackson behind me.
The thought of Maria fresh in my mind as I lay down, did I cause her to become so bitter and hateful? If I did will I cause Alena to turn the same? She is beautiful, caring and wild, I don't want to destroy her like I clearly did Maria. This self-doubt and self-hatred need to stop, I know it does, but sometimes I can keep swimming above the thoughts and nights like tonight they take over.
I am glad Jackson came and got me, I know being here I won't try anything stupid, and the way I am feeling tonight isn't good. I won't sleep, I know I won't, moving I get undressed, climbing in the shower I turn it on, standing for what seems like ages before just sitting, watching the water fall around me.
"Make room" Looking up Alena is stood there in a chemise.
"No, I will get out" She steps into the shower stopping me, sitting down opposite me.
"So talk then" I don't want to burden her with my issues.
"You should be with Jackson, it is late go get some sleep" Smiling at her I point out the shower, I should really get out myself.
"Well unlucky for you, Jackson told me to come to see you and if I must stay with you all night, so no" She crosses her arms, huffing I give up, she isn't going to leave me.
"I will be fine honestly, I am here, alive and not going to do something stupid" I don't think I could anyway, I saw her face when she thought I had died, years of that face plaguing my dreams, I can't do that to her again.
"What were you thinking Marcus, honestly, I won't leave till you tell me" Nodding I give in.
"I was thinking about Maria" The flash of pain spreading across her face.
"How she was totally different when I met and married her, and I have to wonder if it was me who drove her to be what she is now."
"That does not mean it was you. How could you think you caused her to be evil? You have not Marcus some people change, and it could be her new partner" I can't stop the scoff coming out of my mouth.
"I was a cunt to Maria, I wasn't the loving husband she needed, I wasn't willing to give up my brats for her. You were willing to give me up to keep Jackson, I couldn't. I caused it, and I know you will end up just the same as Maria"
I look at her, expecting her to hit me, scream at me or something for calling her like Maria when even I know she is nothing like her.
"Why? You have never once treated me bad Marcus, you give me love and protection, you don't treat me bad, and you wouldn't" She seems so sure, but I don't want her getting hurt by me, when it is a possibility, who knows, in ten years I may find someone else, and not want Alena anymore.
"Right, get out I need to get these wet clothes off" She stands up, turning the shower off she reaches down trying to pull me up, achieving a laugh in response from me. Standing I grab a towel wrapping it around my waist, grabbing one for her I wrap it around her. My hands slowly rubbing the towel across her skin to dry her.
"You realise I need to take the clothes off right, it is pointless drying me if they are wet" She laughs as she removes her clothes, my hands once again drying her. Finishing I pass her one of my shirts, lying on the bed I close my eyes.
"I am fine, go to bed I will see you in a few hours, it's nearly five Alena" She stays quiet, my mind telling me she has listened and left, the bed moving slightly, the feel of her body next to mine, her hands wrapping around me.
"I am sleeping right here" My hand wraps around her, her head resting on my chest as my eyes finally fall and I find myself drifting in a dark sleep, a dream telling me to run, but I won't.
The dream is vivid, Alena crying and hurt, once again because of me, but I won't allow it to happen, I will stop it. Waking I can still feel her in my arms, closing my eyes I fall back to sleep again, I don't want to wake up and go back to normal, not yet, at least right now I can cuddle her and dream.
The sound of Georgina's loud mouth waking me, Alena still asleep in my arms as the door opens.
"Alena, Georgina is not happy you forgot to meet her" Alena opens her eyes looking confused.
"Something about the baby?" I look at them both confused, what baby?
"I know, I forgot I was meant to go with her to the new place, I forgot" Alena gets up rubbing her eyes.
"I will be right down" She walks out Jackson following her, getting up I get dressed walking downstairs. Georgina and Liam staring at me when I do.
"Now what has she done?" I laughed shaking my head.
"Nothing, I am back for good this time" MJ smiles running towards me, his arms wrapping around my legs.
"We need to talk about this as well when Alena is back" I nod at Jackson's words, MJ seems to be growing so fast, he must be four or five now, looking around for the girls I see them, they must be around six or seven now? Maybe older.
"Grab a coffee Marcus, MJ come with daddy" MJ let's go and walks with Jackson, hearing him calling himself MJ's dad hurts.
Yet I can't moan, I made him by walking out on my son. Grabbing the coffee, I feel both Georgina and Liam's eyes on me, turning I now see Georgina, stood there holding a baby.
"Congratulations, I had no idea" Seems everyone's lives have progressed more since I left, the baby isn't big, a few weeks maybe?
"Thanks, meet Helen" I smile, a girl, and named after her gran.
"A perfect name" Liam walks off towards Jackson, clearly asking questions as Alena rushes down the stairs.
"I'm here, sorry" Georgina nods clearly not asking anything.
"Give Helen to Liam please" She hands me the baby as she and Alena leave, my awkwardness radiating from within me.
Moving her so I am able to carry her and the coffee I walk through to Jackson and Liam.
"I have a parcel for Liam" I laugh as he gets up taking Helen from my arms. Sitting down I glance at the clock, it is past one, we slept all morning. The next two hours spent talking, Jackson and Liam catching me up on everything.
"So the court cases, how are they going?" I know they will be getting updated but not fully.
"Maria was given a four year sentence, she has already spent over a year of that inside, Spider, Cole or what ever you want to call him. He got life, minimum 20 years, the rest vary from a few months to years, Jo got 16 months, Mary got longer than Maria, but the thing is everyone has time, and Cole being the longest sentence."
"Good, the fewer people out, the better, especially now we know Caroline is out sometime in the next few weeks."
"What" I look at Jackson shocked how can she be out so soon?
"It has been over seven years Marcus, she didn't get time for the crash, just for spiking Liam's drink, kidnapping him and hurting Alena with intent to kill her" Well, this just makes me want to stay more.
"She is going to see Caroline tomorrow, Caroline refuses to let me go with her though" He can't let her go alone.
"I will go with her, I know Caroline, I won't speak, but just so we know everything is okay" Jackson nods.
"Good, I was going to go, but if I show up, there is a chance she won't see Alena. To be honest, I don't even know why she wants to see her, but she does"
I hope this isn't the start of new trouble, but I think Alena needs to see her before she comes out, it saves her coming here where they are happy.
"Anyway, I best start cooking tea, Alena will be back soon with Georgina" Jackson up and walks out leaving me with Liam of all people.
"So, you are back for good then?" I nod, I don't+ want to get into an argument.
"Then what does that mean for Alena and Jackson?"
"Nothing changes Liam, Alena and Jackson are still married, me coming back won't change that. Stop worrying over her, she is stronger than you think"
I don't mean it nastily, I still admire him for standing up to me that time knowing I would hurt him. Yet he needs to realise she is strong, everything she has been through has made her strong.
"Just don't hurt her, as you said everything she has being through has made her strong, that being you Marcus" Nodding I have to agree, I played a part in the drama in Alena's life.
The door opens, we both turn seeing Alena and Georgina walking in together.
"We best be straight off" Liam jumps up and walks over to Georgina, they look amazing together, I wouldn't have thought it myself years ago, but right now they make a perfect family.
"You guys look amazing together, congratulations again on baby Helen" Liam nods, I am guessing he still isn't happy I am back.
Georgina and Liam walk out as we sit down and begin to eat, tonight won't be easy at all, we have a lot to talk through.