"What have you done wrong now?" See even he assumes I did something wrong.
"I told her I want a baby, that I want it to be only us in our relationship. She told me I would be a bad role model and kept talking about how me going on missions wouldn't work. So, I sent in my resignation and she flipped, making me sleep on the sofa"
I did what she wanted or at least thought she wanted.
"You need to leave her, I like Maria, I do, but the way she tells you what she wants then throws you to the gutter when you agree isn't good"
I know he is right, but I don't feel ready to throw away our relationship over something so stupid.
The month passes quickly the date they are waking Alena up is finally here. Maria and I decided a few weeks apart might help, we still live together, but we have given each other all the space possible, I feel like she is leaving me slowly.
Standing outside Alena's room, I watch as they turn everything off, the doctors leaving Jackson walking out to me.
'Now we just wait" standing outside the room at her window we talk, I'm not sure why we don't go in, but we don't.
looking up a short while later her eyes slowly opening, the relief flooding through me, Jackson running to her side immediately.
I guess I will go back to his, turning I walk off, I need to find out exactly what Maria wants, without guessing I have a feeling she wants a family just not with me.
Getting back to Jackson's I relieve Troy, so he can go home to his wife, Liam sat in the kitchen, walking over to him I pat his shoulder.
"Alena is awake" I look around unable to see Georgina.
"Great news, I let Georgina know when she gets home with the girls" she must be out.
"So, when are you going to kiss her?" I look at him laughing, he needs to just get it out the way.
"Last time she slapped me" he laughs shaking his head at me.
"Last time you were a child, you have grown since and she certainly looks at you differently" she does I have been watching them all month as the girls brought them closer together. The next two weeks passing quickly, I am beginning to realise Maria wants someone else not me, although when I say it she denies it.
Jackson is bringing Alena home today, I have stayed away from the hospital since she woke up, Georgina takes my place. The door opens, Jackson helping Alena in and getting her sat on the couch.
"Hi Marcus" she smiles at me, it is such a relief to see her awake and smiling.
"Alena, you look so much better than before" I tease wink at her. Looking at me confused, she turns to Jackson, who is laughing.
"Alena, you remember he was the one who found you
completely naked and covered you, up right?" He looks at her trying to remind her. She laughs as if she has realised something funny.
"Typical, the hottest one has seen me naked at my worst" I laugh at her joking back, Jackson looking shocked.
"Yeah, I am the hottest thank you for confirming it Alena" still laughing at Jackson's face.
"Erm, Alena husband standing right here" he laughs, clearly happy she hasn't lost herself.
"Obviously you're the hottest he's the hottest after you" she laughs at him, clearly seeing he is offended even though he laughs.
"I think the drugs they gave her for the pain have kicked in, it doesn't count" Jackson is laughing looking at me, as what he said is confirmed by Alena falling asleep before finishing the conversation.
"Told you" he laughs, moving her so she is laid down, covering her then sitting looking at me.
"How did things go with Maria?" He asks the question I don't want to think about.
"It didn't, it feels like she is putting off breaking up, she says she wants something then tells me no. We have given each other space to think, yesterday she said she still loves me, she's just confused and needs time" She hasn't even touched me, which says a lot.
"It's coming up to ten years isn't it, that you have been married?" Nodding to him it has, a long time and it will be wasted if we give up now.
"Ever thought she is buying herself time?" Why would she need to buy herself time?
"Why, why delay splitting up and making us both miserable?" She would just walk away surly.
"Prenuptial agreement remember ten years married and it becomes void, remember you did it after her family told you that was all she wanted" I forgot about that, but she wouldn't.
"We have a joint account there is plenty in there for her to take, less stress and hassle then doing this, I don't think she is waiting for money" I hope not, what happens if on that day it becomes void she walks?
"Just be careful and try to cancel your resignation" nodding I know I have to, we decide to sit out the room, walking out we sit at the table drinking coffee.
"Go home, see Maria, if I need you I will call you Marcus"
Nodding, I leave, I need to find out what is going on I can't keep ignoring it. Driving home what Jackson said is on my mind, is she waiting till she can get money?
Walking in ready to face her I look at her stood there in the kitchen in just my shirt.
"Why are you delaying this breakup? You clearly want to so why you are delaying it, why would you stay with me knowing you don't want to be and can't stand me touching you" my questions blunt, she turns to face me.
"I needed time to think, I have, I want you, I swear I do Marcus"
Walking to her I wrap my arms around her, pulling her body to mine as I kiss her. She is like before, distant, not wanting me almost like she feels she needs to do this.
"I'm no fool Maria, you can say it, but the way you act is different" Her hands grab my hair pulling me to her.
"I do want you, I would just rather you came in and took charge, just do it that is what I want" looking at her I have no idea if she's being sincere or not.
"If I was your brat and you just walked in, what would you have done?" She looks at me waiting.
"Either told you to strip, and kneel waiting for me, or just bent you over the side and fucked you, there is a lot I could have done" there is but she isn't my brat and it has been months since she let me touch her, so I wasn't about to walk in and demand sex.
"Do it, anything right now" Nodding, I step towards her, my hands ripping my shirt off her throwing it on the floor leaving her naked.
My hands grabbing her waist, spinning her round to face the wall, my hand unzipping my trousers. My other hand slowly teasing her clit, pushing her against the wall, grip the back of her neck.
My cock thrusting into her hard hearing her moan as I do, holding her against the wall, my hand grasping her hair pulling it hard, my hips moving faster.
"Is this what my slut of a wife wants?" My words coming out as a growl, feeling her become more wet around me. I don't like it, I don't like calling my wife a slut, but if she enjoys it I will for her.
"Yes Sir" her hands trying to reach behind and grab me, my hands letting go of her, grabbing her arms I pin them above her head, my hips thrusting harder.
"You get what I give nothing more, and I didn't give you permission to touch me" one of my hands letting go of her arms and pulling her hair.
"Don't even think about moving your hands, and don't even think you're allowed that orgasm" my grip in her hair getting tighter the sound of her moans driving me crazy as my hips keep moving faster, feeling myself closer to the edge I stop, dragging her down to her knees.
My hands, keeping a tight grip in her hair as her tongue slowly licks over the head of my shaft. Moaning, I push my hips forward, my cock pushing further into her mouth, a moan escaping her lips as I do, the vibrations against me sending me wild.
Her tongue stroking along my cock as her mouth begins to suck gently. My hands holding her head in place as I begin thrusting with my hips, the sound of her gagging making me want more. Pushing myself deeper into her throat, gripping her hair tighter as I cum the feel of her warm mouth sending me over the edge.
Dragging her back up, my arms wrap around her, carrying her upstairs, throwing her down on the bed, I grab things out the trunk while she watches.
Walking back to her I pull her up, the rope wrapping around her wrists, then around the top of the bed. My hand raising the whip swinging it down over her arse instantly hard, watching her body jump. My hands beginning to bind her breasts with the rope, her eyes watching, I want to see them this time.
"Curtains" turning I see them open, there is still net curtains, of course, that won't stop people seeing in though.
"What about them?" I keep going, watching, wondering will she tell me to close them or decide to take the risk.
"Nothing, if you're happy they are open, I am" smiling I nod, her eyes flickering to the windows, my hands finishing binding her breasts.
My mouth lowering kissing her nipples as my tongue gently strokes across them. My fingers clipping the clamps onto her nipples, the sight of her breasts bound and swollen making me smile. My hands slipping the collar around her neck, fastening the lead onto it, gently tugging to ensure it is tight.
"So safeword" looking at her I smile, she is going to need one.
"Never had one with James, we don't need one" she is crazy, even a married couple like us need a safe word, that is the way to stop it, not having one is dangerous.
"Pick one, safe words are always needed, especially when we know no often means Yes, your real no may be mistaken for that and when there isn't a safe word to stop play, that is when it can become rape"
I'm not risking anything, yes, some don't use safe words, but you have no idea if that no she is screaming is genuine, especially if the woman is bound and blindfolded.
Rebecca would cry from pleasure and exhaustion, not upset or hurt and sometimes I worried the crying was me going too far, the safe word made me aware I wasn't.
"Fine red, happy now? I won't be saying it anyway, I know James wouldn't be able too, and neither can you" she looks at me defiantly, a challenge which I accept, I won't have her scream it in pain, I will have her scream it from exhaustion from stopping her orgasms.
I move, grabbing the wand off the bed, pushing it against her sex and turning it on, watching as she moans trying to pull me to her, unable to with her hands bound above her head. My hand holding the wand in place, my other hand swinging the paddle to hit her bound breasts watching as she bites her lip.
Lowering my mouth, I gently kiss her neck, my teeth biting down, feeling her hold her breath as I do. Hearing her breathing begin to quicken after, moving the wand away, I smile at her.
"Not allowed to orgasm remember, if I sense you're going to I will stop" I move my hand back, pushing the toy against her sex, my other hand swinging the paddle hitting her breasts watching as she jumps.
I keep going, watching as she begins to get frustrated at not being allowed to orgasm. Me moving the toy away from her, slowly kissing down her chest, my mouth tenderly kissing her clit, my tongue peeking through my lips, tasting her, slowly building up speed and rhythm.
My hand grasping her arse harder, my nails digging in, as I do my other hand slips between her legs, slowly my fingers pushing inside, moving slow, to the rhythm of my tongue. My tongue beginning to move quicker, and as it does my fingers, copy, watching as she gets to the limit, forcing herself to stop, her legs beginning to shake, and I know she won't go much longer before saying the safe word.
Stopping, I stand up, unfastening her arms from the bed, pulling her to kneel, placing the toy in her hand, making her hold it against her clit as the vibrations continue.
My hand grasping her hair, pushing my cock into her mouth as she moans against it, the vibrations from her making me harder. Her mouth, trying to suck as she fights off the orgasm, struggling to concentrate on both, my hands grasping into her hair tighter, my hips thrusting fast and hard as her moans become muffled and just vibrations around my shaft.
Removing myself, I stand her back up, holding the toy, seeing the tears in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" As much as I know she would say the safe word if she isn't I will always ask if she is okay when there are tears.
She nods, smiling, her hands grasping each other, as her body shakes, my hand keeping the toy against her clit, my other hand grabbing another toy.
Running the pinwheel down her body, pushing it against her skin deeper and harder, her moans turning to screams quickly, as her legs begin to shake more. Stopping I tie her hands to the top of the bed again, ensuring she can't fall to the floor.
My hands once again moving, placing the toy on her clit watching her squirm, the pinwheel moving faster and harder against her skin.
"Red" I smile hearing the word, pulling the toys away, my hands going to unfasten hers, she looks at me in disbelief.
"Really, you can't stop, you can't leave me on the edge like this" Smiling, I nod, I can, and I just might well as well.
"I think you will find I can, do I want to sit and watch you on the edge not able to relieve the feeling?" Smiling at her, my hands unfasten her arms, slowly stroking down to her breasts and removing the rope.
"Just fuck me Marcus, please, anything at all, just let me finish"
Smiling, I nod, my hands lifting her up, her legs wrapping around my waist. Sitting her down on the windowsill, pulling her closer to me as my cock pushes into her sex, her moans begin instantly as my hips move.
The feel of her nails digging into my back, making me thrust harder, her screams getting louder, the feel of her orgasm pushing me over my own limit as my hands hold her against me.
The sound of her whimpering as the orgasm continues making me smile, my lips kissing hers as I pull away and lift her down from the side, us both walking to the bed and climbing in it.
"You realise that you could still seem enthusiastic when I kiss you, I am happy to do this to you, but whenever I kiss you, there is nothing there" Turning I look at her, hoping she sees my point.
"Things have changed, I still love you though"
What has changed, she keeps saying things have changed, but never what has changed, I agreed to change everything I wanted in life for her and she is still saying things have changed.
"I still love you, I always will, and I just wish you were as crazy as me as I am you" I do, I wish she looked at me like she used to.
"Can we forget about it Marcus, and just enjoy our night together?"
Nodding, I agree, I need to move on and stop bringing it back up, staying in bed, we cuddle, watching the film, her head growing heavy against my chest as she falls asleep.
Me slowly following, happy to have her and that things seem to be back on track, or I hope anyway. Waking up, Maria is no longer in bed, walking downstairs, she is nowhere to be seen, no note left so I can only assume she has gone to work, getting ready I leave and go to the Jacksons, I have basically moved in now, I live between both houses and I feel like Maria is grateful for the space away from me.