[Justin's P.O.V]
Lunch break was just less than thirty minutes away and I just couldn't wait. It was currently Maths class and I just wanted to get out of here already.
I've always felt like Maths or the idea of school as a whole wasn't for me. People make a mistake by putting 'school' as a factor of life. Like school is in the middle and human life surrounds it.
Nobody is forced to attend school and that doesn't mean that you will not succeed in future life if you don't go to school. Not every person wants to take that path in their life and I am one of them. I've actually tried dropping out when I was in my sophomore year but my adoptive parents convinced me to at least finish high school and basically that's why I'm still seated here.
Speaking of my adoptive parents, I am actually planning on visiting them this afternoon after school. I feel guilty because I have not seen them in... in about a month. I haven't gone to see them since Amara has been living with me.
I shiver at the thought of Amara...
She really is changing me, but that is something I can never confess to anyone, not even my best friend, Levi or my brother, Nick.
I've basically built these metallic walls around my heart after a horrific heartbreak I went through a while ago. I don't like to think about it nor do I like to talk about it because memories come back to me, sad ones, memories that take me back to a place of agonizing heart pain. I hate that place, the place of darkness and misery, where you literally can't do anything but weep!
I built walls around my heart and cursed love, proclaiming it forbidden in my world. I hate love, that feeling is just there to break people. The deeper you're in it, the harder you're going to fall, and it fucking hurts for years until you finally become numb. Only lucky ones can swim in love, the rest of us are just meant to drown in that shit.
More reason to actually convince myself that...that I AM NOT FALLING FOR AMARA.
Because its a curse.
Having her around is just...ugh I don't fucking know why I kissed her this morning! I got lost in the moment, she was so tempting, my heart and my feelings for her were tempting. I don't want to love her, I don't want to fall for her because it will best for her, and for me. I just.. I don't want to hurt her...
...but deep down, I'm the one who fears getting hurt.
***
"Justin my boy, you have no idea how happy I am to see you!" My adoptive mother exclaimed as she just opened the door for me.
She instantly gets out of the way and I get inside, I hug her and she wraps her arms around me as well.
"I'm happy to see you as well mother." I whispered in her ear as I pulled away. She holds my cheek and looks at my face, "I'm glad the bruises you had the last time are gone."
I tense as she mentions the bruises but I manage to relax. "That's why I took time not coming here, I didn't want you and father to see me looking like shit." I say and she gasps as she places her hand on my mouth.
"Language!"
I laugh as I roll my eyes.
That wasn't entirely true, I took time not seeing them because of Amara. I just never wanted to leave her alone, hell I don't wanna leave her alone my whole life!
"So what's for lunch around here ma?" I ask as I throw my school bag on the kitchen counter as I sit. She takes off the pink apron she had and takes out a plate.
"I actually just finished cooking now, I'll dish you some." She smiles sweetly as I thank her but she tells me to shut it.
I spent the entire afternoon with her and father arrived not so long ago.
It was not past seven and I needed to leave.
I say goodbye to my parents as I hug them and leave, not before mother tries to convince me to move in. I haven't told them about Amara as I figured that its still too soon. I was in my car, the latest blue Cadillac ATS-V, driving towards the gang house that's about a twenty minutes drive. My phone rings and I answer, putting it on speaker as I drove past traffic.
"Nick" my voice is calm but firm.
"How was it with mom and dad?" He asks and I hear some movement.
"Went well, I thought they would be mad at me for not showing up in a month but they were actually happy I came." I speak as I annoyingly honk my car at the driver in front of me.
Nick laughs, "Alright then, so I'm guessing you'll be back before midnight, right?"
"Yeah, hopefully." I reply but someone comes to my mind, "where's Amara, is she okay?" I ask as I take a turn.
"Yeah, she's currently having ice cream in her room." Nick answers as I frown.
"Order her some food, she must be hungry." I said as I waited at the traffic lights.
"Yeah, I just ordered some food. You really care about her right?" He said in a teasing tone but I groaned.
"Yes I do, I care about her and I think there's nothing wrong with that now is there?" I take a corner again as I see the mansion coming into view.
Nick says something else over the phone that i didn't listen to and laughs.
"Listen I gotta go. Speak to you later." I speak and end the call without waiting for his response.
I pull up at the gates as I'm met by heavily armed guards surrounding the place. I come across one guard standing close to the entrance, he nods his head in a sign of greeting as he brings a scanner and I scan my right hand. The screen shows 'access approved' as the gates slide open. I drive inside, revving the engine just for show.
There were many cars and I become aware that many of the gang members have showed up to the meeting. I lock my car as I jog inside the mansion doors and enter a code as the doors open. I see some people but I ignore them as I continue to jog upstairs. I head to the meeting room, where we hold our meetings of course.
I enter and notice most people already there. I greet some of them and seat by the chair on the far right of the room. More people get in and I later see Levi walking in with Quinton, they spot me and come towards me immediately.
"Anybody knows when exactly this meeting is starting?" I ask them as I feel like I've been sitting here for hours.
"About now, boss should be arriving." Quinton answeres as he sits next to me.
I met Quinton in the gang and he is the same age as me. Levi is just two years older and Nick is one year younger than me. Quinton was unbelievably smart as he specialized in IT and he was the leader of it, Levi worked under the transportation of all shipments and I was the leader of the fight ring.
In the Unmerciful Generation (UG), we all work under different gang related departments but when we attack, we attack as a group and also defend as a group. The UG is international and found in all the continents across the world. The head offices are in Italy where it all started and that's where our boss, Kioka Valexo, spends most of his time. Although he spends most time in Italy, boss has been around in UG America for about six months now.
The UG is one of the most dangerous gangs and we share the spot with our biggest rivals, the Spanish gang, Peligroso.
Boss walks in with a full black tuxedo and two guards surrounding him. I notice the gray hair starting to appear on his hair. Everyone is quiet, showing respect when he stands in front of us. There were about twenty five of us in total.
"Good to see you all" his voice holds power and authority, not forgetting the strong Italian accent he has. I look around and see like looks of respect and adoration towards this man. Literally EVERYONE respects him.
"As you all know, I have been around in America for six months now. Throughout the time, UG America has been under a lot of attack from rivals, Peligroso. They've been gaining more money than we do, killing more people than we do, importing and exporting more merchandize than we do, winning more fights than we do. As if that's enough, they attacked our gang house just a month and a half ago, taking out most of our men." His voice is full of rage as he deadly speaks.
"Its time we took revenge and showed that we are better than them. THAT WE ARE SMARTER, STRONGER, MORE RUTHLESS AND DEFINITELY MORE DANGEROUS!" Everyone yells and whistles as we feel the adrenaline and hunger for blood.
Boss waits for everyone to calm down before he continues, "I want everyone to bring their A-Game. You lack, you're dead. Next Friday we're attacking the Peligroso gang house when they least expect it!"
I share a look with Levi and he nods while I nod as well. At this moment, I was thirsty for victory. Hungry to see blood spill. It's who I am, I'm a gang member, I fight and beat the shit out of people for money. That's what I do.
No one can change me now.
Not even her.
***