Chapter 41
~Chaz's POV~
Shit. Justin has to be devastated. I just heard they're whole conversation from the living room and saw Emma leave to her room. Honestly I feel bad for Justin. Not that I don't feel bad for Emma and support her decisions with whatever she decided to do with her relationship with Justin but Justin's my best friend. I know him and I know that hes probably more upset that he screwed up than she is.
I slowly walked over to Justin's room and cracked the door open.
"Justin? You okay, bud?" I asked as I carefully walked up to him and put my hand on his back.
"I messed up, Chaz. I fucking ruined my own life," his voice cracked. "Why do I have to be so stupid?" He cried into my chest. Man, Justin's really upset. It hurts a lot to see him like this.
"Its gonna be okay... I think whats best right now is that you just give Emma some space. Give her some time to think about this and don't bombard her with excuses every time you see her. You've already apologized, whats done is done and the last thing she needs is more on her mind," I said even though I know its the last thing he wants to hear.
"Give her space!? Fuck space, Chaz, that's what got me into this mess in the first place! I missed her so I made myself believe that I was with her.. I-I need her.. To feel okay.." He admitted, whispering the last part.
"Just.. Think about whats best for Emma," I sighed and left his room. I didn't bother to check on Emma because when Ryan and I heard them we both chose who we would check on and he chose Emma.
~Emma's POV~
"I just don't understand why he'd do that.. I would never be so careless to not know who I'm about to have fucking sex with. I just.. You know maybe that's all he was ever in it for... He was gonna have sex with me then just leave.." I admitted to Ryan.
"Em, you know that's not true. Justin loves you. I swear your all he talks about when hes with me. Even when we were at the club he called everyone to see if you were alright, and Em, he really did think it was you he was with. Don't even question if he loves you or not cause you and I both know the answer to that and its obvious," Ryan said.
"Yeah.." I sighed and wiped away the tears.
"Do you.. S-Still.. Still love him?" He stuttered a bit. I thought for a moment before answering.
"I um, don't know right now," I said honestly. Just the thought of Justin with Jazmen confuses me. Does he want to be with her? Shes always been prettier than me.. Always had more experience with guys.. Always better. And this is the second time somethings happened between them. I just don't get it.
"O-Okay.. I'll leave you alone. Just let me know if you need anything," Ryan slightly smiled as he left and shut the door behind him.
I checked the clock and it read 3:24. I decided to go out into the living room with Ryan and Chaz since I doubt Justin would come out of his room for the rest of the night and the last thing I want to do is be trapped in a room where all there is to do is think about him.
"Mind if I hang out with you guys for a bit?" I asked them as I sat on the floor, leaning up against the couch.
"Yeah, sure." They both said in unison.
"Shit," I mumbled as I reached in my pocket and realized my phone wasn't there. I must have left it in Justin's room. "Hey, would one of you mind getting my phone from Justin's room?" I sniffled.
"Yeah, I got it," Chaz said and stood up. I mouthed 'thank you' and waited for him to come back. "Here you go."
"Thanks," I said and rubbed my eyes. I decided to go on Twitter since I haven't been on in a while and tweeted some things.
@EmmaJohnson: Missing home :/
@EmmaJohnson: I thought you said you would never let me go.. </3
@EmmaJohnson: Everything will be okay in the end. And if its not okay its not the end... Right?
I sighed and started following some of Justin;s fans who were tweeting me and reaching out to me until I exceeded my following limit for while.
"Wow way to say "Justin Bieber Dumped Me" in code, Em." Ryan said. I guess he was looking at my tweets. I rolled my eyes and went on Instagram.
I took a picture of Ryan looking at his phone because he was making a weird face at whatever he was looking at and it looked funny so I posted it with the caption: 'He's leaving tomorrow YAAAY.. :/'
"Aw, so you are sad to see me go," Ryan smirked as he showed me the caption I just typed.
"Not really.. But then again yeah because I'll be alone in this bus with Justin," I sighed.
"Just try not to completely shut him out, Em. He feels really bad and I think he hates himself more than you do right now," Chaz said seriously.
"Whatever," I sighed. Just then my phone vibrated in my hand.
From: Scooter
Stopping for food in a few, Justin wont answer my texts so let everyone know please. Thanks.
"Were stopping to eat in a few," I announced to Chaz and Ryan.
"Uh, you might wanna put on some shades then." Ryan chuckled.
"Why...?" I asked as I looked at myself in my camera mirror. "Oh.."
"Yeah, your eyes are like hella red and puffy," Chaz said.
"Thank you, Chaz." I said sarcastically. "I think I have some in my room, be right back." I came back seconds later with a pair of black Ray Bans. "Good?" I asked as I slid them on.
"All good. Should we tell Justin were stopping?" Chaz said.
"Scooter said he already texted him, he just wont respond."
"Well I doubt hes even looking at his phone. Hes most likely in a trans, staring at the ceiling or looking in the mirror at himself. He does that when hes sad its kinda weird cause you just walk in and hes having like a staring contest with himself and he doesn't move. So yeah.."
"O-kay," I chuckled. "Were here." Ryan and I hopped off the bus while Chaz went to check on Justin. I looked what was in front of me and it was McDonalds. "Oh my God, yes I need this."
"Wow," Ryan chuckled.
Once we ordered we all took up two tables with about four people a each table. Ryan, Chaz, Alfredo, and I sat at one table and Pattie, Scooter, and Kenny sat at another. Justin never came out.
"So hows Justin?" Alfredo asked, his mouth full of food.
"You know?" I whispered. He simply nodded like everyone knew. "Oh.. I have no idea."
"How do you not know?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"I haven't seen him since he told me. He was crying when we were talking but I left and I haven't seen him since," I shrugged.
"You don't seem affected by this at all," he said.
"I got over it.. I mean I'm still not buddy buddy with Justin but I'm not gonna cry over his decisions anymore. I didn't do anything so why should I have to suffer through another heart break?"
"You know Justin's devastated."
"Hm," I hummed.
"Devastated." Alfredo repeated.
"Thank you," I mocked his Annunciation.
"So your gonna still stay on the tour, right?" He asked.
"I think so.. If he still wants me here. I told him I'd support him no matter what and I'm not gonna back out of my word."
"Cool. He does so much better when your at his concerts, you know," Fredo smirked.
"Okay then."
Once we finished eating we all got back on the buses and Pattie got Justin a bag of food she ordered to go and had Chaz give it to him. I sighed loudly and plopped down on the couch again with Chaz and Ryan doing the same.
"What do you guys wanna do?" Chaz said.
"I don't know ride a pony," Ryan said sarcastically. "There's nothing to do were on a fucking bus in te middle of nowhere. And it doesn't help that we don't have Justin to entertain us."
"Sorry.. I guess you guys would rather hang out with him than me.. Sorry we had to fight while you guys are here," I sighed and blew out a puff of air.
"Nah its cool, your fun to hang out with," Ryan said. Chaz nodded in agreement. I smiled and took out my phone since I felt it vibrate. "Who is it?"
"Twitter mentions."
"From?"
"Guess who," I rolled my eyes. Once they figured it out they nodded. I looked at all Justin's new tweets since he mentioned me in them all.
@JustinBieber: I miss you @EmmaJohnson
@JustinBieber: I know I screwed up, but I can promise you I never let you go @EmmaJohnson
@JustinBieber: Don't leave, home is wherever I'm with you @EmmaJohnson
I guess I miss him too...
~Justin's POV~
"Its like an angle came by.. And took me to heaven.." I sang softly as I wiped more tears away. I miss her. I miss her and I need her. I miss her and I need her and I want her. A few more tears fell down my cheek as I looked at her Twitter.
@EmmaJohnson: I thought you said you would never let me go.. </3
Why the fuck is Jazmen trying to ruin our relationship? Its twice now that shes taken advantage of me and made a move on me. I understand that its my fault for going along with it but whats her problem? What kind of a best friend is she? I was about to take out my phone and text her but I realized I don't have her number. Fine then, I guess Ill just tweet to the world how I feel about you.
@JustinBieber: Never be the person who is so jealous of other people that you literally watch their relationship crumble to pieces in front of you.
After that my mentions went crazy. But I honestly don't care right now. All I want is Emma and for her to forgive me, but I know that wont be happening any time soon.
---
"No... No, please, Emma! Why are you doing this, I love you! Please! Please, Emma!" I begged for her to stay with me but she just left. Just like that.
"I fucking hate you, Justin. I've never loved you. You look so pathetic right now.. Just stop.. Your only embarrassing yourself," she said in disgust and broke the grip between our hands.
"Why... Why would you do this?" I cried, just letting the tears flow, not bothering to wipe them away.
"Because I'm done with you. I got all the fame I need from you. I should be good for a while so goodbye. Good luck with your pathetic life," she rolled her eyes and walked out of the tour bus, catching a cab to the airport.
No.. No this cant be happening. The person I cant possibly live without left me, alone. Forever. The person I loved more than anything hates me and used me.
"EMMA WAIT!"
I suddenly woke up all at once and tried to get my breathing under control.
Its okay it was just a dream. But.. What if its trying to tell me something? What if... Emma doesn't love me anymore? No.. No I would never be able to live like that.
I tried to go back to sleep but I just couldn't. I have to know. I have to know if she still loves me. I carefully got out of my bed and headed over to Emma's bedroom door which was closed, but not locked since I was able to open it. I peeked in and she was asleep.
I slowly walked in, closing the door behind me, careful not to make a sound.
"Emma," I whispered. She didn't move. "Do you... Do you love Justin?"
"Mmmmm," she mumbled.
"Do you love Justin?" I repeated.
"Justin," she mumbled again. I think shes sleep talking. She must be able to hear me in her dream.
"Do you love Justin?" I repeated again.
"Justin... Justin stop," she started to move around a little. "I hate you Justin..." She was quiet after that.
She hates me. I could literally feel my heart begin to beat faster until it just fell apart. I swear I could feel it crack.
Just... Like... That.
I fell to the floor and held my chest on the side where my heart was trying to keep it going. I felt tears stream down my face. I'm a mess. She doesn't love me. She doesn't fucking love me. There's no reason to live.. The only person I feel like is close enough to me as family, yet almost more important, the one I'd take a bullet for, hates me because of my mistake.
A/N So uh I kinda updated chapter 40 like a few hours ago and its actually 5am right now so I just pulled an all nighter watching Bethany Mota, O2L, and wrote this chapter. Lolol so good morning I guess lol hope you guys liked it sorry its kinda boring but I had no ideas:/
Oh and you may have noticed the book cover has changed... Uh yeah that was on accident and I'm too lazy to remake the cover so there ya go. Maybe ill do it sometime in the future idk. But yeah thanks for reading love you<3
And OMFG SORRY FOR THE TITLE OF THIS CHAP I JUST LITERALLY HAD TO I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY AND STUPID SO YOU PROBABLY LAUGHED WHEN YOU SAW THAT BUT WHATEVER
AND LASTLY THANK YOU MY LOVELY READERS FOR ALMOST 1300 READS YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING AWESOME!! LOVE YA