First I'd like to thank each and every one of you all for getting this story to 60K+ reads. it means a whole lot to me, and I truly mean that.
schools been out for like a month now, and I'm into the second month of summer where i live. I planned to write so much for you all, and maybe even get a slight step closer to finishing IIT, but it looks like that won't be happening.
now before you panic, don't worry im not unpublishing this story anymore, but it'll be a little bit before I get to a consistent update schedule, as I have had a while back. with the constant weekly updates and things, ( and that was only because those chapters were prewritten from before when I had this story published earlier this year.)
but anywhos.
I'm working on finding out where I went wrong, and just how I got to this stage of utter writers block for this story. i find myself staring at the words I [try] to write out, and trying to pull them together to make something worth reading. but then I either scrap it and do something different, or I just leave it for weeks, and come back to sigh at the feeling of disappointment I have in myself.
another thing is, I've been trying to find inspiration again. By reading a few chapters of different genres of stories on here, and I've even taken a liking to watching tv again, or more specifically I've started to watch a lot of Kdramas, and there's one thing I find in common in almost all of the Romance/Drama Korean shows I've watched.
and that's a true connection.
there's always that point where the male says to the girl, or even female says to the guy, "stay with me forever" or "stay by my side, don't ever leave."
something about those words literally tear me apart. it's said with such emotion, and taken so heavily in the eyes of the characters that I've watched.
I've realized that irl, I don't see much of that. Which makes me so badly want to incorporate that type of connection into my stories, I want my readers to be moved.
But anywhos I'm rambling now.
But back to IIT, I also wanted to talk about the purpose of this story. And just why I put it out for you all.
If someone were to ask me, what is the main theme for my story. Or what's the lesson learned, I'd shamefully have no answer.
I don't believe this story gives a lesson. Because of one reason.
It's not unique.
And I myself have a love hate relationship with uniqueness, because I feel that, yes you can be special as your own person while being your own person, but then again uniqueness can also cause loneliness.
In my opinion at least, or my 'experience' I could say.
But regarding IIT, I plan to make an outline for what I want to happen to this story. That meaning an outline for each chapter, and figuring out just how I want this story to end.
I feel that that is the best way for this story to get back on track. And for me to find my way with this story once again.
Y'all don't even know how long it took for me to officially (meaning the first time ever) publish this story to y'all, and then unpublishing it was even harder when I realized I didn't make any progress.
But just please work with me, and be patient. I still love this story, I love my characters, and I appreciate you all for having the same love and showing support no matter how many times I wonder just if my story is as 'good' as some of you tell me.
Thanks so much for taking the time to get a little peek into what's going on inside of my mind.
Much love,
- j. 🕊