{Imagine~ Ariana Grande}
Thierry's pov:
The night of Olivia's confession
After I made Olivia leave, I finally let myself crumble. I curled onto the couch and let the tears I was holding back fall. I could not wrap my head around it. She lied to me? I mean, I know I kept stuff from her in the beginning too but I have bared everything to her in the hospital. Did she not trust me? Did she find me unworthy?
'What did you expect? Just because you've confessed your past doesn't mean you're not still nothing more than a disgusting toy. You're still a monster, boy. Did you see how much you've hurt her? You're nothing.'
I clenched my head and willed away Uncle Davi's voice. It was not suppose to be this way. I was suppose to be better and happier. I thought confessing would finally set me free. Olivia and I would work this time. I am still messed up. I will never improve and regain myself fully. They will always control me.
I was not suppose to drink much on my medication, one glass of wine wasn't a problem. I was itching to go to my liquor cabinet and drink everything I could find though. Start back my old habits of self medicating and comforting. The wounds on my body seem to sting, dark thoughts slipping into my mind. I wanted to rip off all my bandages and tear into the cuts, desperate to make them disappear.
'I am losing it. I need to call someone. I cannot let this happen again.'
I stumbled to my phone and yanked it from the counter top, pressing the numbers furiously. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for the other line to answer.
"Hey, Thierry! Did we leave something behind again?" Danny asked, giggling slightly.
"Come over, please. Just you." I rasped, clicking the end the call.
My body seemed to weigh a thousand pounds and I drugged myself back to the couch. I just needed Danny to be here and hold me like old times. He knew what I needed. I would tell him what happened between me and Olivia. I will keep her secret though. I owned her that much at least.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First therapy appointment
I was not excited about today. I knew I needed it though and even told Danny to schedule me for three days a week with two different therapists, one the hospital recommended and one that was considered one the the best in all of NYC. Dr. Natalie Potter and Dr. Ryan Haynes, two very well trained and respected professionals. I would go to Dr. Potter's twice a week and Dr. Haynes' once a week. I wanted two different perspectives and the two therapists actually agreed and planned to work together on my case.
I know I should not feel this way but I feel like a nut case. I am not used to being this vulnerable and open all the time. I hate it. I am suppose to be a man. Uncle Davi and Aunt Cassandra would surely mock me now. Perhaps I am just a boy that never grew to be a man. Is that why I cannot seem to keep Olivia close? She deserves better than some poor abused fool.
Danny was driving me to the appointment, insisting that he be waiting for me in the lobby for every appointment. I know he worries for me. He has since kindergarten when he decided that we were to be friends. I frowned at the copper head, his eyes focused on the road. His creased eyebrows, dark under eyes, and gnawed bottom lips let me know just how worried he was. I am not a good friend. Maybe I should separate myself from him too. I deserve a life of solitude so I cannot hurt or bother anyone with my problems anymore.
'You weak dumbass. You should have offed yourself that day you decided to cut yourself up with class. You couldn't even do that right!'
I hissed as my head pounded. Perhaps I am going crazy. Davi's voice seems to be ringing through my skull more than ever. Danny looked at me worried but I shrugged and looked out the window. He knew I would not respond to his questions so he let me be. It was silent the rest of the way to Dr. Potter's office.
Danny parked the car and asked me if I was ready. I nodded and we got out of the car. Dread filled my body as I neared the office building.
'Time to find out exactly what the fuck is wrong with me.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two weeks before the party
I was resting at home, my eyes lazily focused on the TV in front of me. Today was Saturday and Danny and my therapists have ordered me to stop working on the weekends as much, especially during my recovery. Luckily my wounds are all healed and I no longer had to wear bandages.
In the back of my mind I wondered over the news the therapists have told me. We have had many thorough talks about my childhood and sexual and physical abuse. We also discussed my personality and my family. I was reluctant to share at first but it was nice to talk to people about my past and not receive pity. The doctors were very professional and helpful, not treating me as a fragile doll or disgusting freak.
After all of this, they have diagnosed me and put me on medication for persistent depressive disorder, or dysthymia, post-traumatic stress disorder, and alcohol addiction. They also let me know that I was not abnormal for my extreme introverted ways. I was asocial, which was increased by my dysthymia. They also discovered my resentment for my family's abandonment but that was not news to me. However, when we dived into sexuality is when it got more shocking.
Danny has become a big part of my therapy. He often consults with the doctors since he is the closest person to me who knows me the best. Despite my best attempts to keep Olivia out of this, Danny happily blabbered everything that he has observed about my sexuality and relationship with Olivia. I was then forced to share as well. The doctors at first thought I was asexual until the topic of Olivia was introduced. Sexuality is a complicated subject to explain and is often fluid but they believe me to be demisexual. And Olivia's identity had no affect on my attraction to her as my strong emotional bind with her was my main interest with her, not that I am not physically and mentally attracted to her as well. The doctors wanted to talk more about Olivia but I shut that down at our last appointment. That is a topic I am still not quite ready to touch.
All of this was a lot to take in. I was exposing and exploring myself in new ways. I have to say that I do feel better though with some explanation of my identity but that could also be the meds talking. I have seemed to be less pessimistic and aloof according to Danny and Neal. Even Sara, my still fairly new PA, has taken note of my sudden mood and social change. I am apparently nicer and more tolerant at work they say. Whatever.
My phone chimed and the screen lit up, suddenly catching my attention. I grabbed the device to see I had a text message from Danny. I unlocked the phone and read what it said.
"Don't forget the therapists' homework assignment for this week! Make sure to do it or I'll kick your ass! Love you!"
I scoffed and set the phone back down. Of course, the homework assignment. I felt as if I was back in damn elementary school. A sense of uneasiness and anger coursed through my body as I thought of the work I was to do. They wanted me to invite my family over and talk to them, clear the air and make amends. I have not talked to or seen them since the hospital visit. Remuydo has of course pestered me but I simply ignored him. Our usual routine. Guess it is time for that to change.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three days before the party
I was feeling better than ever. I was a new man. I still had a long way to go but it was easy to see how much I have changed over this month. All the ones close to me were surprised at how quickly and willingly I was accepting these changes. The doctors and medication helped. They say it has a lot with my desire and will to improve myself over anything. I was scared and angry but now I was finally seeing the light. Most of the time anyway. I still had many dark times with mood swings, nightmares, and emotional walls. No one could say that I was not trying though.
My family and I were slowly reconnecting and reestablishing a healthy and happy family bond. I quickly hired Isadora as an intern in the business management department but I knew that she would not stay in that position long. She takes after her big brother when it comes to the business world, which is very resourceful and reliable. Miguel's fine dining Brazilian restaurant plans were moving at an efficient and steady pace now that I was helping fund his brilliant concept. He had the best contractors and advisors money could buy. Remuydo was living an easier live as well, proving himself to be a worthy and trusted nurse practitioner. It also helped that he now did not have to financially support the family alone. Mamãe and Papai were happy to have their family completed after all these years of separation and destruction. I would be lying if I said that having my parents back in my life was not anything but amazing. I feel like was seven once again with how they spoil and smother me.
Everyone at Chic Crave was getting use to the new Mr. Jackson. I hired more HR personnel to set up team building exercises, healthy and appropriate work relationships, and fun company activities. I had not cared for that before but Danny has encouraged me to be more open and supportive rather than trying to carry the company on my own. My asociality and introvertism still had not changed much but I was not allowing that to interfere with the new activities. Our improved profits and efficiency have proven the employees were enjoying the changes as well. I even offered Sara a full time and permanent position at Chic Crave as my PA. If she was able to survive in my absence, then she could definitely thrive in my presence. Danny seemed to like her too.
Now though, I was at home sitting at the kitchen island while staring at the red and white envelope. Danny handed me the envelope today right as we were leaving work. He told me not to open it until I got home. The envelope had my name written in beautiful calligraphy handwriting that I did not recognize. It definitely was not Danny's chicken scratch. And I know it was not hers.
I finally just told myself to man up and open the damn envelope. I carefully peeled the seal open and pulled the contents out. I again was greeted by a elegant array of red and white. It was an invitation. My eyes widen at the name of the event. I was invited to Olivia's twenty eighth birthday party? We have not spoken in a little over a month. What does this mean? I noticed a letter attached to the back with similar handwriting that had written my name.
"Dear, Thierry,
I know this invitation must come as a surprise to you. I honestly had no intentions of inviting you but Danny had convinced me. If you have truly changed and are ready to fully commit to Olivia as her partner, please attend this party. If not, let this be the final goodbye and heartbreak of your relationship with her. We do not really know each other but I believe you are a good man and want to be the man my Ollie deserves. So here is your last chance if you want to take it. Olivia knows you have been invited. Now the ball is in your court. I will not promise how things will turn out if you come. That is up to Olivia so keep that in mind. Whatever your decision is, do not let me regret sending you this invitation and letter. I am not as nice as I appear.
Best of wishes,
Madison
P.S. Wear red and white if you do come."
I dropped the letter and invitation on the island in disbelief. Does this mean she still wants to be together after everything? I snorted and combed my fingers through my hair. Has she not had enough of my cowardliness and anger? My baggage and drama? Has she still not realized how truly dysfunctional I am?
'You are so much better now. You should not be thinking this way.'
My heart was fighting against my head. I was conflicted and confused on what to do. Have I changed enough for her? Will she still even care about me? Madison and Danny invited me, not her. What if she's moved on? What if she never wants to see me again? What is the right thing to do? Should I fight for her or finally let her be free?
A part of me wanted to see if reconciliation was in the cards while other wanted to let things continue as they have been. She's been a month without me, maybe that is how things are meant to be. But I have grown and bettered myself. Is that enough? I looked at the invitation once more. I gently caressed the ink that spelled out her name as I tried to figure out what was best for the both of us, especially her.
'Should I stay or should I go?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Olivia's pov:
I checked myself in the mirror for the millionth time. The red, fitted bodycon dress with off the shoulder long sleeves cut off right at my thighs, showcasing my long legs and slim, toned figure. My white jewelry and heels complimented my dress well. I had a small white and black clutch for my phone and red lipstick. Madison was beside me, her full figure highlighted in a peach, ruffled wrap dress that was slightly longer than mine and had a clinched waist. Her accessories were a khaki nude and looked amazing with the peach and her fair skin. We both looked stunning with our styled hair and made up faces.
"Ladies, you look amazing." Danny whistled as he walked into my bedroom.
The copper head was dressed in a causal navy blue suit with a cream button up that was tailored to flatter his slim figure. Neal was behind him in a black button up with black pants, his muscles bulging through as always. Totiyuna had let them in and entered my room after them, dressed in a peach button up and light khaki dress pants and shoes. We all looked pretty snazzy if I must say so myself.
"Omg! I just realized Madison and Totiyuna are matching perfectly! Neal, what the fuck?" Danny whined, pouting at his husband.
"You told me to wear all black because you-"
"Hot damn, you don't have to put my business out in the streets like that!" Danny interrupted.
We all laughed as Neal just shrugged. Danny gave him a firm look before refocusing back to me and Madison. I was nervous as usual while the blonde was a ball of excitement. She loved parties, the little social butterfly. Well at least at a party where she knew people. Stick her in a room full of strangers and she'd be a blushing nervous wreck. How someone can be so bubbly and inviting yet shy and anxious was confusing. The southern belle was a complex one.
"Okay so everything is in place and if we leave now, we can make it before any early birds start to show. So let's move it, people!" he announced, clapping his hands and marching out of the room.
"He's dramatic as fuck." Totiyuna scoffed, wrapping an arm around a giggling Madison and following after him nonetheless.
Neal just shook his head and left too, leaving me to trail behind everyone. We loaded into Danny and Neal's car since it was big enough to fit all of us. We quickly drove to the venue, a cute hotel ballroom they all chipped in to rent for my party. They were really going all out this year. We made it there in plenty of time, traffic surprisingly not as bad as it usually is on a Saturday night. We piled out of the car and checked in before heading to the ballroom. I was excited to finally see the party decor. I opened the doors and was immediately taken back.
"Wow! This looks amazing! So elegant and beautiful!" I gushed, my eyes flying across the room excitedly.
Danny had a smug smirk while Madison literally shook with happiness. I hugged the two, thanking them for all their hard work. Madison tugged me over to the food table and I was gobsmacked at the amount of food she had prepared. All fifty of us could eat ourselves silly and then fix at least two to go plates a piece. Why she wasn't in the food industry was a mystery to me? I turned and literally gasped when I saw the cake accompanied by cake pops.
"Madison, you've really outdone yourself this time! Are you kidding me?" I squealed, going over to more thoroughly examine the masterpiece.
Madison was beaming at this point, practically skipping around the room. Tot smiled and wrapped her arms around her, trying to calm her down before she exploded. I noticed Danny and Neal over talking to what looked like a DJ. The dance floor was spacious and just as beautiful as the rest of the room. This party was going to be amazing.
It wasn't long before guests starting appearing, some I recognized while many I didn't. My parents and any of the Formosa crew had yet to show but we were only fifteen minutes in. My parents are definitely always late. And I had no idea if any of the Formosas were coming, especially Thierry.
I won't lie and say I'm not hopeful for his attendance. I caught myself looking for him every few minutes, wondering if he will come or not. And if he does come, what will he say and do? I'm not saying I'll necessarily jump into his arms if I see him but I'll be happy to see him. Besides, I don't care who was right or wrong in this situation this time. That isn't what being in a relationship is about. We'd need to have a serious talk first but I'm ready to let go and love. If that's how tonight goes anyway. For now, I willed those thought away. I have a party to enjoy.
I spotted Casper, Valentina, and Alejandra in a corner, talking and laughing amongst themselves. I sped walked over there, glad to see they could make it. They all greeted me with a hug and wished me a happy birthday. I stayed to chat for a second before floating around the room, saying hello to guest left and right. Madison and Danny were doing the same, being the hosts and all.
Suddenly, I saw my parents finally make their fashionable late entrance. They locked eyes with me and eagerly came running my way. I happily was wrapped up in their arms and they kissed my head and face. I eventually pulled out of their grip, laughing and playfully wiping away their kisses. Dad pouted and threatened me with a knuckle sandwich.
"No, thanks. I'm full." I played along, pinching his side.
"Dang, out dad joked." he sighed to Mom, who rolled her eyes at both of us.
"You both are losers." she laughed, hitting both of our arms.
"Ouch, geez! Anyway, you guys aren't leaving until tomorrow night, right?" I asked.
"Correct! Now, out of my way. I see Madison has made quite the buffet." Dad replied, moving past me and straight to the food table.
"I guess we'll talk to you later, dear. Happy birthday and enjoy your party." Mom chuckled, patting my shoulder as she passed me.
'You got left for food. The disrespect.'
I spent another good ten minutes making sure to stop and talk to all the guests. I was exhausted and decided some food and a chair was what I needed. I loaded up my plate, grabbed a glass of wine, and found a seat with all my friends. They cheered as they saw me approaching and pulled my seat out. I laughed but gratefully sat down between Madison and Danny.
"How are you enjoying everything so far?" Danny asked over the quite instrumental music playing.
"Everything is great! You guys did an amazing job."
"Good. Later on will be way more fun though. Told the DJ to liven this place up once the
majority of everyone finished eating."
I was about to reply when I saw Thierry's family walked into the room. I froze and stared at them wide eyed. Danny followed my gaze and gave me a reassuring smile. He grabbed my hand and dragged me over to greet them. They all smiled when they saw us, calming my nerves slightly.
"Hi, Olivia! Hi, Danny!" Cecília said, giving us both a hug.
"Hi, everyone. I'm glad you could make it." I replied, giving the rest of the family a small wave.
"Thanks for inviting us! We could use a good party. Great place to meet people." Miguel joked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Estúpido!" Theo chided, knocking him on his head.
Miguel winced and complained, making all of us laugh. I was feeling better now that I knew things wouldn't be awkward. Danny whisked them away, showing them around the room and introducing them to people. I took my seat back at the table so I could finally enjoy my food. I popped a chocolate dipped chip into my mouth and moaned at the salty sweet combo. I was stuffing my face with Hawaiian sweet ham sliders when Madison turned her attention to me.
"Ollie, isn't that your friend and Thierry's brother over in that corner." Madison asked, pointing in the direction I was to look at.
I looked to see Miguel and Alejandra, laughing and flirting in the corner. She was playfully squatting his shoulder while he had an arm loosely around her waist. It was very easy to see that they liked each other.
"Oh gosh, this is either amazing or the worst thing to happen." I groaned.
I don't know if Miguel is truly a player or not or if he's intentions are pure. For all I know though both could be looking a fling rather than a relationship. They just met so who knows how things will play out? But if my friend and Thierry's brother do get together, that could be awkward if things go sour in either or both relationships.
"Well, I hate to tell you that things are getting even more interesting. Look over there by the bar." Tot commented.
I turned my attention to the bar to see Remuydo and Valentina chatting. Remuydo seemed in awe of the strong spitfire while Valentina looked guarded yet intrigued. He was trying very hard to keep her attention on him.
What the hell is happening?! This is my birthday party, not a speed dating get together! And why out of all the people does it have to be my friend and boss/friend and his brothers?! Our lives are tangled enough together already! And he might not even show or want to get back together so this could go south fast. I was going to let it be though. I'm not getting involved and potentially ruining anything. That would make me a terrible friend.
"Oh my gosh, do you see what I'm seeing! I'm such a good matchmaker!" Danny keened as he skipped up to our table.
"What?! You planned this?" I asked.
"Well, not originally! I didn't set this into motion until I talked to everyone and realized how compatible they would be. I introduced the brothers to your friends and BAM! Romance! The only one I intentionally planned before the party was Sara and Isadora and I plan to set that in motion very soon." he defended, putting a hand on his hip.
"Who the hell is Sara?"
"Thierry's PA, she was hired after you left. She's very nice and pretty, a hard worker too. Isadora's pansexual and Sara's a lesbian, so their genders won't be a problem. I just know that their similar and complimenting personalities and ethics have potential to create an amazing and powerful couple! I should change careers."
"Danny, you are an idiot."
"That's rude! I'm leaving!"
He walked away, Neal silently trailing behind him. That man is crazy. Poor Neal. I would've killed him by now. But since we're not married, he's not my hand full. I'll let him continue his little match maker antics. It's not like I could control him anyway, the rat. At least he's entertaining.
"Alright, everyone, let's move this birthday party to the dance floor!" the DJ yelled out, the music starting to blare and actually have lyrics.
Madison squealed and forced Totiyuna out of her chair, dragging her over to the dance floor. Danny and Neal were already there and getting quite frisky. I saw Alejandra and Miguel and Valentina and Remuydo out there as well. Even Isadora and Sara were shyly dancing together.
I guess Danny was right. Pretty much everyone was out dancing with friends or lovers, expect me that was. I sighed at picked at my plate, what remained of it anyway. It's been over an hour since the party started and that certain someone still hasn't showed up. I tried not to feel too disheartened but I'll admit I was disappointed. I guess it really was over.
"Care to dance with me, sugar?"
I looked up to see Casper smiling at me, his hand extended in offering. I laughed before happily grabbing his hand, letting him lead me the rest of the dancers. A slow song started to play and he began to sway to the beat with me.
"So, birthday girl, why the long face?" he asked as he twirled me expertly.
"No reason special." I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Oh come on, Olivia. I know the face of a broken heart. I've wore it myself a few times."
"You got me there. Let's just say I was hoping a certain man was going to be in attendance tonight but it looks like he's a no show." I confessed, allowing him to dip me.
"Well, the way I see it, it's his loss. You look absolutely radiant tonight and have all these people here to celebrate you. You're a star, sugar. Shine bright."
"Damn, Casper, if you weren't married, I would claim you real quick. You're so sweet and wise. You're wife is very lucky."
"Thank you, Olivia, but I'm the lucky one. Trust me, I was quite the hell cat back then. I'm like her tamed kitten now. Don't tell her I said that now."
Casper spun me around a fun times before the true party songs started back up. We joined a group with my friends and parents to form a circle, all of us having a good time. After a few more songs, the DJ stopped for an announcement.
"I hope everyone is having a good time tonight! As you all know, we are here to celebrate a very special lady. Let's here it for Olivia who turned twenty eight today!"
I blushed a bit as the crowd erupted in cheers, the alcohol playing some part in the extreme loudness. The DJ lead the crowd off in the Happy Birthday song, intensifying my embarrassment yet gratefulness. The ones dearest to me made my heart warm as they stared at me with kind eyes and loving smiles.
"That was awesome! Again, happy birthday, Olivia! Now, please enjoy the rest of the party and let's keep this celebration going!"
And we did. Drinks, food, and dancing filled the rest of the night. At one in the morning, people started calling it quits. Soon it was only Madison, Totiyuna, Danny, Neal, and myself left. We helped the DJ load up to leave and cleaned as much as we could to help out the hotel staff. My parents and the Formosas wanted to stay to help but we sent them on their way. Once we were done, we loaded back in the car and drove to my house. I needed to be brought home and Madison and Totiyuna left their car there. Thank goodness Madison and Neal don't drink because Danny, Totiyuna, and I were hanging by a thread.
We pulled into my drive and us three ladies piled out. Danny and Neal said their goodbyes before leaving to head home. Madison was dragging the very affectionate and handsy Totiyuna as I drunkenly cackled instead of helping.
"You're terrible, you know that?"
"It's not...it's not my fault!" I slurred.
"Why you little-"
"Olivia?"
I whipped around to the front door to see Thierry standing there, dressed in a black tux, red button up, and a white tie holding a bouquet of red roses. My eyes widened and I nearly tripped. He's here? But what about the party?
"Oh shit. I think we should go." Tot whispered very loudly, stumbling a bit herself.
"Hush, you drunk. Get in the car."
He stepped off the porch and approached me, handing me the flowers. I grabbed them and held them to my chest. I felt myself sobering up as I wrapped my head around his sudden appearance.
"I am sorry I did not go to the party. I did not want to act as a distraction or ruin anything. Can we talk?" he asked, his eyes pleading with me to agree.
"Ummm, yeah. Follow me inside."