Nathaniel
I crossed the room before anyone could react and kept walking until I reached Josephine's office. I stopped by the fireplace to stare into the flames while I fought to gain control of my emotions. The Imperium? What in Andraste's bloody arse was Solas up to? Was Dorian simply a cover? Was he in danger? How much time did I have before it was too late?
"Fasta vaas! Kaffas! Bloody knife-ear!"
"Inquisitor?"
I turned to see Hawke standing behind me. She crossed the room to my side, her eyes filled with sympathy and on seeing it I broke. Tears coursed down my cheeks as she took me in her arms, my shoulders shaking with fear and grief for the loss and helplessness that overwhelmed me. She said nothing as I wept, waiting quietly for my sobs to subside as I let go of the control I'd had on my emotions.
"Hawke." I croaked, stepping free of her embrace. "Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me Inquisitor." She said. "I can't imagine what you're going through."
"I feel so helpless." I growled, turning back to stare into the fire. "I can't even go after him without a plan. I feel useless."
"I understand Inquisitor, but I came out here to offer my help. Fenris and I can leave today, pick up Solas' trail. Perhaps even cross into Tevinter."
My eyes widened in shock at what she was suggesting. "What about Fenris? Won't he be in danger if he goes back there? And you. You have no magic. It would be beyond dangerous for the two of you to go there. The odds of being captured by slavers is too high, especially given your reputation in Kirkwall."
"Details Inquisitor." She said, her eyes filled with determination. "I have a friend who can provide the necessary cover for me. You don't need to worry about that."
"And this friend would be willing to do this for you?"
"Willing or not, he owes me. As for Fenris, he may not like the idea but it would give him the opportunity to kill slavers. It's something he and I both enjoy."
"Are you sure about this?" I said, worried for her safety. "I thought you wanted to go home to Kirkwall."
"Oh I still plan to go home. But if this Solas is planning to start a war, how long will any of us be able to enjoy the peace you've brought to Thedas? I can't just walk away knowing this."
"And Fenris?"
She frowned. "He won't be happy about it, but we'll be together. In the end, it's all that matters."
"Will you take Varric then? Or Merrill?"
She sighed. "I miss having them with us, but no. It would be too dangerous for Merrill. She says the wrong things much too often and it would be impossible to hide the fact she's Dalish. And you'll need Varric more than I will. We'll be fine Inquisitor."
I sighed, nodding at her assessment of things. "Very well. If this is what you want, I don't have a problem with it."
"What's all this then?" Varric asked, joining us. "You planning to leave again Hawke?"
"I'm sorry Varric, but I have to."
"Of course." Fenris muttered dryly, following on Varric's heels. "Hawke to the rescue. Again."
"Give me some credit Hawke." Varric frowned. "I figured that's what you were doing out here. I just wanted to let you know about Isabella."
"Isabella?"
"She has a new ship. She sent me a letter telling me she'd be in Denerim for the next ten days if any of us wanted to come visit."
"That's very fortuitous Varric." Hawke smiled.
"That it is." He chuckled wryly. "She said she'd be staying at The Pearl."
"Of course she is." Fenris continued. "Where else would she go?"
"Thanks Varric and could you do me a favour?"
"Anything."
"I need Justice. Can you get a letter to him?"
"Are you sure that's wise?"
"We'll need a mage if we want to get into the Imperium. I have no choice about that and he owes me."
"What about Sunshine?"
"I don't want her involved."
"Hawke."
"I know Varric. If she follows him anyway, so be it. But make it clear to him where we're going. Maybe he'll be able to talk some sense into her."
"Fine. I'll send it today. With any luck, it'll have reached him by the time you track down Isabella."
"Justice? Sunshine?" I asked, puzzled.
"My sister and a... friend."
"Friend." Fenris snorted.
"You're not talking about..." I let the thought die.
"Don't say his name!" Hawke hissed. "No one knows he survived what happened at Kirkwall and I'd like to keep it that way."
"I didn't think you would be inclined to protect him after what happened."
"I'm not one to hold grudges Inquisitor, but if he wasn't with my sister..."
"They're together?"
"They are." She nodded. "I don't object to my sister finding happiness, but by staying with him she's put herself in danger."
"Not unlike yourself." I noted.
Fenris laughed. "He knows you well Hawke. Yes Inquisitor, stubbornness runs in the family."
"Fenris." Hawke blushed, frowning.
"Hawke, it's one of my favourite things about you."
She smiled then and reached for his hand. "Thank you Fenris. In any event, we should get going. Will you be all right Inquisitor?"
"I will be once I have something to do. Some direction to move in."
"Don't worry. We'll find Dorian and save him."
"I hope so."
"We will." She repeated, moving to the door. "I'll send word once we reach the Free Marches. Remember, Solas doesn't know we're coming or that we remember anything. He won't be expecting any of us to show up to stop him."
"I hadn't thought of that." I murmured. "Thank you for doing this Hawke. It helps."
"You're welcome. Andraste guide you."
Dorian
He was in his father's garden. The sun was shining brightly overhead, the sky a crystal clear blue and a light breeze was on the air. He was taking a light lunch and drinking one of his favourite wines, Agreggio Pavali.
He couldn't recall the last time he'd taken a moment to himself to just sit and enjoy the small pleasures of life. Yet though the day and the setting was perfect, his mood was far from content. None of it seemed normal or appropriate. For one thing, he couldn't remember getting up that morning. Nor could he recall who had served his lunch, though he knew he hadn't fetched it himself.
Even that was an odd thought. Since when had ever gotten his own food? There were always servants for that. Weren't there? Frowning, he looked around the garden noticing that it didn't extend as far out as he remembered. In fact, the garden was downright small and... was that green mist?
Startled out of his observations he sprang to his feet, his heart pounding. Was this the Fade? Alarms began going off in his head as his hands dampened with sweat. Maker's breath was he dreaming? Was this a nightmare?
"Dorian Pavus?" A voice called from behind him.
Startled, he jumped, whirling around to face the direction the voice had come from. A young, blonde human male stood there, watching him with cool blue eyes.
"Who wants to know?" He asked, surprising himself.
"My name is Feynriel. I'm a Dreamer."
"A dreamer? You mean you're a Somniari?
"I have not heard that word for some time, but yes I am."
"What do you want? Are you a demon? Is all this your doing?"
"I assure you I am only here to offer my assistance. Such as it is."
"I don't understand." Dorian frowned. "Why am I in the Fade? How are you even talking to me? For that matter, how in the Maker's name do you even know who I am?"
"The Dread Wolf has trapped you here. You lost your amulet."
"Amulet?" Dorian paused. Why did that sound familiar? And why did it make his heart hurt and tears spring to his eyes?
"You are losing yourself to the Fade Lord Pavus." Feynriel said, his voice sad. "You must fight the spell Fen'Harel has cast on you."
"Fen'Harel? He's real?"
Feynriel nodded. "You must fight the illusion Dorian. If you find yourself here again, look for my tree. It will help ground and protect you."
"Tree?"
"I am half-elven. Seek the vhenedahl. It is a sanctuary which will help hide you from the Dread Wolf."
"I... think I understand, but why are you helping me?"
"Because the Dread Wolf must not succeed in his plans. I am sorry, but I must go."
"What?! Why?"
"He is coming. He does not know of me yet and I would like to keep it that way. We will speak again Lord Pavus." Feynriel said, turning to leave. "You have my word."
Nathaniel
It had been close to a month since Dorian's disappearance from Skyhold and two weeks since I'd last heard from Hawke. She and Fenris had met with Isabella, crossing the Waking Sea to Kirkwall and travelling North on foot to Starkhaven. I was expecting to hear from her again this week, but the wait was killing me.
My patience and nerves were completely shot. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and been forced to resort to taking a potion Merrill made for me just to knock myself out for a few hours each night.
When I wasn't pacing my quarters with worry over Dorian, I was in the great hall receiving noble after unending noble. If they weren't there to be seen with me, they were there to beg favours and resources of which the Inquisition had many.
In addition, there had been rumblings of dissent among some of the local Bannorns and leaders of Ferelden's scattered and refugee inundated cities. Some resented and feared our power, while others were grateful for our presence.
Regardless what any of them wanted or sought, I was indifferent to it all. I didn't care. Nothing mattered to me without Dorian at my side. Colours were muted, music became noise and every morning felt like waking to a new nightmare. I felt empty, hollow. I didn't know if I would ever feel normal again. The waiting was also shortening my temper and I took no pleasure in anything, not even food.
My only release, my only moment of the day when I felt a modicum of normalcy return was when I was sparring in the practice yard. The feel of my blades in my hands as I fought with Bull or the practice dummies made me feel like I was in control. Clear. But I couldn't do it all day and my obsession with it was quickly becoming a problem.
I needed to leave. I needed to do something, anything. But most of all I needed Dorian. I needed to know he was all right. The not knowing was killing me.
Exhausted and tired of pacing my room, I fell to my bed fully clothed and was asleep in minutes.