"I'm not going to go and tell people things you don't want me saying. So please tell me, I want to help." I explain
"Okay. I just feel left out. Since Kian left to move in with the guys in L.A we haven't talked as much. They do videos together alot and have fun things going on constantly that I'm not a part of. I know it makes me sound stupid and-" he says but I interupt.
"It doesnt make you sound stupid. I understand where you're coming from." I say
"I miss him, ya know? I miss being his best friend and the first person he'd call to hang out or to talk to." Sam said. He sounded so depressed talking about it.
"I understand completely that. More than you think." I say trailing off. Thinking about Ava.
I put my face in my hands to clear my mind a bit, this is about Sam not Ava, Courtney.
I looked back up and Sam was looking at me. He immediately pulled me close and hugged me. I needed it.
I pulled away.
"Please explain." he says
I explain everything about Ava. How close we were and how now I'm replaced.
He just looked at me and let me talk.
"I guess we are in similar situations." Sam says when I finish my story.
"YeH, but we can fix yours." I say
"Do stuff with kian while he's here and maybe you can come back with us and stay the night when I go back to L.A before new years comes around."
"That sounds good. But it's not gonna be the same between Kian and I no matter what." he says doubtful.
"Just try it." I say. I stand up and look at my phone. It's 9:15 and should be heading back to Kians.
"My parents will be home soon." Sam states.
"Yeah I'm gonna wake Kian." I say and walk over to him and wake him with a kiss. He smiles.
"Get up, we're going home." I say and pull him up.
"Merry Christmas Sam!" I say as me and kian walk out the door after saying our goodbyes.
Kian drives us back home.
When we get home Kians parents were still downstairs watching a Christmas movie and Kians sister and her husband had already went to bed.
I say goodnight and head upstairs and Kian stays down stairs.
I change into sweats and one of Kians cat shirts I found in his closet.I make sure the vlog uploaded while we were gone at sam's and decide to scroll through twitter. I cuddle up in Kians bed with pumpkin.
I take a picture of me and pumpkin snuggling on my webcam of my laptop. And tweet out, with the picture attachment.
@Courtney_XoXo: Kians cat Pumpkin is SOOOOO cute.
I scroll through twitter and see sam's tweet.
@Sampottorff : no matter how hard I try for y'all it doesn't please you. Sorry to be such a disappointment
There was much more to his unhappiness. His fans are bringing him down too.
@Courtney_XoXo: @Sampottorff We love you Sam True fans don't hate.
I keep scrolling and get sleepy. I fall asleep snuggled into pumpkin.
-
*whispering from kian*
"Pumpkin,She's my girlfriend not yours."
"Yes I know I'm lucky."
"Yes I know how pretty she is, now please let me get in my bed."
I hear as I'm half asleep.I can't help but smile but it's dark so Kian didn't see.I felt him take my computer off me and type into it. Hacker.
He picks up pumpkin from beside me and places him on the bottom of the bed.I shift and turn over, and scoot over so he can join me.
Kian cuddles in behind me with his arm wrapped around my waist and his legs tangled in mine.And we doze off.
-
I wake up hearing activity happening downstairs. I don't move but I feel Kian wake up and grab his phone.
I turn over and face him. He just smiles and continues scrolling on his phone.
Eventually we get up and go downstairs.
"MEERRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!" Kian screams and we go and eat breakfast.It's about 10 o'clock. I head upstairs and shower and start to get ready.
I wear a dark red dress with a shiny black belt and a black cardigan. I curl my hair into loose curls. And do my makeup a little more than I normally do since it's a holiday. I put on red stain since it's festive. Kian hopped in the shower while I was getting ready in his room.I remembered about last night and decided to check my twitter for what kian typed in on my computer. It said
@Courtney_XoXo:I love Kian lawley so much. -Ur hacker @Kianlawley. Btw pumpkin isn't a fluffy pillow he's a cat.Ur so god damn Cute with him
Made me smile, like usual.
-
He came in the room just as I finished getting ready,with a smile on his face.
"What?"I ask.
"You look very nice." he says simply.
"Thanks Kiki. You look good yourself." I tell him. He was wearing jeans and a dressy shirt with a white bow tie to dress it up.
(Author note:like in his "Classic" music video)
His hair was up perfect, I could tell he took his time. It was so good it made me want to mess it up.I straighten his bow tie.
"Why did you have to put lipstick on.. I can't kiss you!" he says and pouts and hugs me.
"You can, look!" I say and kiss the top of my hand and show that it doesn't transfer. I put on a stain for a reason.;)
"Good!" Kian says and smashes his lips on mine and Nuzzles my neck.We hear car doors shut and look out his window. His brothers and family were here.
We head downstairs to start the festivities. I met his brothers and their girlfriends for the first time. I always seem to click with girls better mostly because they talk to me more.
"Look kian finally has a girl!" one of his brothers says when kian first introduced me.
Kian just smiled proudly and didn't really care for the remark.
I helped his mom in the kitchen with the dessert. I told her my grandma taught me alot about baking and Kians mom told me she'd like to meet her someday. And maybe learn some from her. She said baking was her downfall.
Kians little cousins arrived and he was so cute with them. Kians eldest brother, cody ,had a daughter who was newly born. And was engaged to his baby mama. They said she was a surprise.
(Author note: since this is fan FICTION I'm gonna make up the names of his brothers and their girlfriends and kids and such. Because I can.;) so Just keep that in mind.)
I was sitting on the porch with tabby and codys fiancé Jessica. We were talking and watching the brothers play with their little cousins. They were playing tunnel tag and it was so cute.
We were talking about Jessicas little baby who she brought out in a blanket.she was so adorable and just woke up from a nap. She was only 3 months old and her name is Ellie.
"She definitely wasn't planned." Jessica said and looked over at me.I don't know what that's supposed to mean.
"But after having her I don't regret a thing." she continued to say.
I looked back down at the boys playing in the yard and Kian looked up at me smiling. He ran and picked up a cousin and ran across the yard with him hanging off his shoulder. His cousin giggling all the way.
"Yeah and Cody is so good with her. The lawleys boys are all good with kids."Jessica continued.
I was just cooing over ellie and she grabbed my finger as Jessica was holding her.
"Want to hold her?" she asked me kindly. In my head I was like, YESSSSSSS.
"Sure!" I say happliy.
She passes her to me and I rocked back and forth and just looked down on her.I love babies, they are so innocent and peaceful. I wish there was kids in my neighborhood in illinois or else I would have totally babysat.
"Look at you rock, you're a natural!" I hear and turn around. It's Kians mom at the door smiling.
I couldn't help but smile back. I love kids and I think just about everyone could tell.
We all walk inside since it's a bit chilly. Eventually the kids come running in and slide in by the fire warming up their cold hands.
I stand near the kitchen talking to Skyler, Kians other brother,Luke's girlfriend.She was very sweet. He had been Luke's girlfriend for about 2 months before me and kian got together.
Kian came up behind me and put his chin on my shoulder looking down on Ellie.
I turned so he could see her fully. He started making faces and talking to her and it made me so happy.
"Want to hold her kian?" I ask him.
"Uhhh." he says trailing off looking unsure.
"I don't want to drop her." he finally says.
"You've never held a baby before?" I ask him shocked.He shook his head.
"You can do it sitting down too." I suggest. And he goes and sits on a dining room chair looking unsure.I set Ellie in his tense arms and he instantly relaxes realizing that it isn't that bad.
He stands up instead propping Ellie up in the crook of his arm like I was earlier. My heart melts seeing him so good with a baby. Being good with kids is such a turn on. I find it sooooooo attractive and irresistible.
"What?" he says with a smile. I notice I'm just looking at him with a smile on my face.
"Nothing, you're just really good with her. It's adorable." I say truthfully.
"Look kian is holding Ellie!" Kians mom announces and kian looks embarrassed.
"We've tried to get him to hold babies before but he always refuses."Kian's mom said to me quietly.This makes me happy knowing he did it for me.
"Makes me love him, more and more." I say quietly to Tabby.But I see Kians mom smile too so I think she heard as well.
-
I sat with kian and Ellie on the couch and jessica made a bottle. Kian handed me Ellie and I fed her and he sat next to me.
He took a picture of me and posted it on Twitter.
@kianlawley;Sooooo cute *picture attachment*
After Ellie is asleep I put her in her swing and we have our late dinner. Kians family seems to like me, other than his dad. Which I'm still unsure about.
-
Finally it's almost time for presents. I've been looking forward to it all day. Kians gift is going to be so unexpected.
The kids start opening gifts. And this part will probably take the longest.
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