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7.
I watched her days before she found the book. She's broken and the saddest girl I've seen. I don't feel pity..well I kind of do. But I want to get to know her. She barely smiles, but when she does she lights the whole room. You just join in. She seems to be beautiful inside and out and doesn't even know. She tends to think low of her which hurts me and motivates me to change it. I want to show her that there's another escape that could become her real home if she likes.But first, she has to find me. I think of a way to give her a hint and see that she's just about to walk into her favorite place. A book. It has to be a book which looks too old to keep in the library,but still good to attract her..
I let some books fall out of the shelf and form her so called secret box. Her eyes light up and make me smile. She hasn't smiled so far.It bothers me that someone seems to hurt her way more than verbally.She can't hide her bruises from every eye. And her eyes are lying as well. They're totally empty, but just now, you can see a spark of excitement in her green eyes that are so beautiful and I know that it's worth it. She takes the book and is able to keep it. The first step went smoothly.
I chuckle as I see how she struggles to climb onto her balcony. She's adorable, but quite a fighter. She fights at least for the things she wants and now she wants to get into her room and find out more about her book. I close my eyes for a brief moment as I see her bare face with all its bruises. The evidence of anger on her skin. Who could do something like that.. No one deserves that. She slips behind and under her clothes into her hiding place, gets her cute reading glasses and opens the book. Her face lights up as she reads and takes a close look at that painting. I'm flattered that she likes it, I painted it myself. Just for her.
It's time to show her my world.
I let her think that this is one of her very intense day dreams..she'll find out that this really is real soon enough.
I shake my head, amused as I observe her from a distance. She looks around, spins around, giggles and finally smiles. She falls into the grass and rolls around like a child. I chuckle which comes out like a quiet gowl and step closer. I can't wait any longer. I have to see her face to face. I walk out of my hiding place and stop as she bumps into me and begins to scream. Hello, I don't look that bad! I feel insulted but have to admit that no one would react the way she does next, as she begins to talk to me.
"Hello there", she hesitantly says.
"Hey,I'm Lauren", she giggles. Ow, how I start to love her giggle andn laugh.
"You know, it's beautiful here. I've never seen something like this. I imagined it would be like this.. no, similar..not so, so colorful and -and bright.", she starts talking and I feel the need to sit down. I want to listen and she has that habit to blubber when she's nervous.
"You have pretty eyes", she admits and looks right into mine "They're so dark brown, almost black when it wasn't the glimpse of gold in it" I wink at her. I don't get compliments like that every day.
"You can eat me if you want..some of them at home would want me to disappear..well rather a lot...", she mumbles. I hear and see that she isn't scared..she's sad... I don't know which way is better.
I study every spot of her face and can't take it anymore. I would likely take her into my arms. I can't, so I start to lick her. She giggles again.
"It just hurts a bit", she admits and finds the guts to touch me. Not that I'd do something though, but every other girl would be running away. "You know where it hurts the most?", she whispers and wraps her delicate arms around my neck. I can smell her. She smells like lavender, sweet lavender. How delicious.
"It hurts my heart...", she suddenly sobs and breaks my heart. I know that she's broken in so many ways... I let her cry into my fur. It's the least support I can offer and I know that she usually cries herself to sleep.
She wipes her face with her shirt and gets up. "I feel thristy. Do you think that I can drink the water over there?",she points to the river. I don't hold her back. She's right, she can drink it.
"I just going to try it...maybe you'll kill me either way. But please don't drown me. I never wanted to die that way", she chuckles,pets my head and digs her head into the cold water. She wipes her face with her hands as she comes back up and begins to laugh. Did I mention that she's just the one I was looking for? She's adorable and so different from all the other girls. "I never thought I'd drink like that. It's not lady like you know"
"So what is this? Can you show me around? You probably can't, can you?Wolfs have a pack and you will have a mate, won't you? They wait for you to come back. If it's so then you're free to go..I don't want to be a burden or hold you back..I do that way to often... and you don't have to pretend like you like me and not kill me..", she blubbers and observes me. I need her to stop worrying that I'll kill her. I'll do the exact opposite of that. I jump and hover over her to lick behind her neck. I saw that she has some little tattoo there.It's just a little detail that makes her more lovable.
"Stop it..Give me mercy, please", she laughs and holds her tummy. I made her laugh. My heart jumps by the sound of herraspy laugh, but I stop as she asked for and stare into her eyes. The most beautiful eyes a girl could have. Big, green orbs.
"Ok,let's make a deal, ok?"; she suggets as I lay down beside her. I can't stand all the time when she's starting to talk like a maniac again.
"Give me your paw if you're my friend now. You won't do that because you're not a dog that takes commands and you can't understand me-but.--" God, see, she's blubbering again. Not that it annoys me,but it has to stop and I give her quite a hint that I do understand her by resting my paw on her hand.
She jumps up "Oh, we're best buddies now, wolfie", she exclaims and crawls my ear.
"Bestie,show me around. I need to know where you live, before all this stops... I don't really know what it is to be honest..."
We get up and lead her while she never stops to talk like a waterfall "You know, I found this book today. Wait I have to explain, I went to Mani's at midnight after we had an argument, she came back to apologize and got me to spend the night. The day after that...well today, her mom, she and I went to my favorite place the school library to look at the books which can be thrown away and stuff... I looked through the fairytales and suddenly found a cord. I pulled at it and it appeared to be a secret box with this book. Mani's mom said I could keep it. I am really glad that she gave it to me. I think that it is something special. I went home after that and started reading...and you know, I always attend to be a day dreamer,like today and I'm kind of stuck in this rather realistic day dream since I looked at that painting which looked like" she turns around and notice "It looks exactly like this place..Isn't that funny?"
I already knew that story, because I saw it, but I don't dare to shut her up. It's the first time in years that she's talked that much in one day I suppose. She relaxes with every step and that's what I intended. I want her to have a good time.
She keeps stopping at every not so little detail she sees and amazes me.I did the same when I first saw all those things and I'm amazed that she proves that she really is able to believe and see what's behind it all. That's a good start. We walk over the soft grass, over a small hill down to a breathtaking field with nothing but thousands of colorful and different flowers.
Her mouth falls wide open and she tries to hide it. I wanted to surprise her one more time today because you never know when our time will end or start again and I don't want her to leave yet.
She looks at me and I give her a sign to get on my back. She hesitates,thinks hard while biting her lip. Oh dear god, what is she doing tome...and finally decides to get on my back.
She buries her fingers deep into my fur.
"Ok",she whispers and I start to run. She giggles and I pick up the pace.It feels good to run that fast while I barely notice her weight.She's way to skinny. We have to change that as well I tell myself to remember.
I slow down as I see the flower field is ending and stop afterwards.She lets herself fall in the fluffy grass and giggles. She loves the little things in life – I like that. She gets back up and follows me. I lead her the way to the little cottage. I like to spend my time in this kind of area..away from all the responsibilities.
She explores the fence, then the house and I can see how tired she is.She can't hide the real her from me. She isn't trying to and I hope it stays that way.
"Do you know if someone lives here?" she asks me. Yup, I know, but I can't answer her..
"Do you belong here?" She looks at me as if she's really expecting me to answer before I get onto the bed and close my eyes. I know that she'll join me when she knows that I'm here and she's safe.
"Won't harm anybody if I just take a nap,will it?" , I hear her ask before I feel her warm body in front of mine and hear how her heart and breathing slows down until she's sleeping.