I'm a coward. I left my mom in there with those monsters.
Alex had come to pick me up when I ran away like a coward. He drove us straight to Drew's house. I wanted Drew by my side. But Alex told me that Drew had left the house early in the morning after telling Alex that he's going out to get something really important. And he still wasn't home. Alex had tried his number couple of times. But it straight went to voice mail. He wasn't picking his phone. And since then I had been cursing myself for being such a wimp. A coward.
"Don't blame yourself for it. Claire! It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." Alex was trying to tell me that it isn't my fault. When it is. And I knew it.
"No! You don't understand. I'm a wimp. I ran away and left my mom with those monsters." I kept crying and mumbling nonsense constantly. I kept repeating it. The guilt of leaving my mom alone and running away like this, was weighing me down.
"Why's all of these happening to us? What did we do wrong?" I questioned as I buried my face in my hands.
"You know that. The same thing Miles had said to me once." I released my hands from my face and turned my attention to Alex. He was looking genuinely upset. He nodded. "And you know what's the worst thing about it. I didn't have answer to his question. And now, you have repeated those words again. I'm still speechless."
He chuckled sadly. "You sound just like him. You act like him. You remind me so much of him. Sometimes I got confuse that you're talking or him." I stayed quiet. His eyes were glossy, he's relieving those time he had with Miles. I guess this is what the friendship looks like.
This time I understood the meaning behind his words. You sound just like him.
Now I understood, why he was shocked when I told him to search under the bed for kit. Now I understood, why he cared for me this much. I was grateful for him. He was such a great friend.
"It's insane that you've never met him or never seen him. But you sound just like him. It's like you're his reflection. I-It-It's like h-he never left. He's he-here right in front of m-me. T-talking to me. I probably sound crazy right now. But I can't help it." My eyes welled up too as I saw him breaking down in front of me. He's right though. I'm sitting in front of him.
"Can you tell me about Miles? Now, he's a part of my life. I want to know him more, like you do. So I can understand his pain." I asked quietly. Because I knew some things about his life, what he led me through. I knew worst days of his life. His happy moments.
"You have right to know everything about him." He wiped his nose and sat straight, blinked couple of times before speaking.
"Three years ago, when we were in high school. He was about to turn eighteen in few days. We used to think, he's a blessed boy. He got everything, everything anyone could ever ask for. He was rich and handsome and quite tall. Almost every girl in school used to drool over him. He was about to get his scholarship in lacrosse in the next match. All his grades were high. His days were rainbow and sunshine." I didn't know my half brother had everything I could ever ask for. I suck at studies and games. I had lived an average life until now. With nothing unusual until now. I watched curiously as Alex was smiling as he was telling about Miles.
"He was a nice guy. He had a big heart. I just can't believe, he could have best friend like me. A quiet, outcast and an emo teen. He could do better.-" He chuckled. And I smiled.
"He could never do better than you. Alex. You're precious. I'm lucky to have you by my side." I reassured him telling him my genuine opinion about him. "You're a great friend."
"I told you, you're his reflection. He had said the same thing that you just said." He stated. I was shocked because this time, I didn't listen to the voice. I said what I had in my heart. I guess I do feel like him too.
"You distracted me Claire!!!" He chuckled again. "The best day was his eighteenth birthday. We'd organized a party for him. That's where he met Destiny for the first time. Drew's sister. They fell in love right then, and there. Although Drew's always overprotective for Destiny. But Miles was lucky, he didn't have to taste a punch of Drew for liking his little sister. Drew was happy that she chose Miles over all boys." He had a little smile on his face. Good old days.
Destiny's boyfriend was Miles. I guess I didn't know a lot of things. I smiled a little.
"Everything started to fall apart when Miles's mother introduced him to her boyfriend. Mrs. Odell was a nice woman. She was a charitable woman. She spent her life taking care for others. But she was alone her whole life, when Miles lost his father in such a very young age. She was devastated. To distract herself, she started getting herself engaged in trust works. She helped so many people. Then she realized she's still alone. She finally decided to moved on after many years. So she started dating. Miles had no objection. He was just happy that his mother had found someone." Alex sighed.
"She did move on with George Cobble?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He nodded quietly. It was obvious to be George.
"That's when all hell broke loose. She got married with George. Everything was fine for couple of months, until Miles started acting weirdly. We got the news one day that his mother was hospitalized after falling off giant staircase in the main hall. She had serious injuries on her head and back after that fall. Miles was furious and terrified. He exclaimed George pushed her. But we didn't believe him that time." He did pushed her.
"I believe him." I spoke in monotone staring ahead.
"I know you do!" He turned his gaze to coffee table constantly staring at it. "After that, Mrs. Cobble's injuries didn't heal. Her condition was getting worse day by day. Miles exclaimed that George fucked with her prescribed medicine. He was giving her something that makes blood cells weak in body. Always smiling and nice Miles turned hideous and angry. He started showing up with bruises on his skin. I remember, he used to tell everyone that he got them while practicing. But only me and Drew knew the truth behind those hideous marks, who he had gotten them from." Alex was clenching his fists so tight. He was crushing his own fingers by the amount of pressure he was applying.
Me and Alex started crying again as he was telling the hardest part. "His mom was always on the bed, her spinal area was injured beyond repair after that fall. She couldn't move her legs anymore. She was getting worse. That's why, she didn't know what is happening with her son. He probably was getting beaten regularly. He couldn't have control over it. He told police about this. But George was always one step ahead of him. He proved them that Miles is on drugs. That he's unstable. They shouldn't believe him. They fucked with his food too. Pushing cocaine in his blood streams. Poisoning him."
"How'd you know that?" I sniffled. My lips quivered. George was a monster. Horror sat in my heart. Now it was confirmed, they had fucked with my breakfast too. That's why whenever I skipped my breakfast, my body started sweating and shivering. My mind started boggling. I see. They were drugging me too from the start. Tears escaped my eyes. That's why Granny always wanted me on breakfast table every morning. So she could make sure that I was having them on regular basis. I can't believe I was too blind to see it. I thought it's hospitality.
"You know Drew was afraid that they were doing the same thing to you. That's why as a precaution he never let you have dinner at your home. He cares for you so much." Alex explained. I knew Drew is my saving grace. I wouldn't be alive without him. He saved me at my every step. But damage had been done. The drug was now in my blood streams. My lips quivered, I squeezed my hands together as they started to sweat once again. It was sick. How could they do this to me? My eyes watered but I stayed quiet, thanking Drew for everything he had done for me, in my mind. I hope he would hear it.
"He broke up with Destiny when his mom died. He was alone and afraid. And Drew was furious at him for leaving his sister without any valid reason. But Miles didn't tell him that he broke up with her so that she could be safe. He didn't want to see anyone in danger because of him. And she was oblivious to everything. she was broken."
"And Drew did realised why he had done it?" I asked tilting my head a little. Drew and Destiny had hard time in their life. They had been through too much. I could understand why he was furious at first. He just wanted that Destiny never got hurt.
"Hmm." He hummed in response. "At the night of his final game. Lacrosse. Miles was worn out. He was tired his mind off. His body was shaking violently. He was bruised. He couldn't focus. He lost the game. He lost the chance of getting scholarship. His hopes were crushed on the field that night. After the game I tried to talk to him but he took off, without saying a word. That was the last time I saw him. When he returned home. He disappeared." By the time he finished. I was soggy from the tears. I could feel his pain. I knew why he used to dig his nails in his fleshes. Why he used to sit in the corner staring at the clock on the wall. Why he used to cut. Why he had panic attacks. Now I knew everything.
"I've lost my friend that night. I know they killed him and hid his body somewhere. Because he wasn't in the condition to run away. He was barely keeping his feet on the ground. He was stumbling on his each step." His voice broke as he said those painful words.
"That's why everyone think he ran away because nobody had found his body yet. And Cobble got the better excuse for his disappearance. That he was a drug addict and when he lost his game and fame that night he ran away to get rid off the shame." They were so cruel. That was so cruel. Now I was afraid what were they planning for us? How do I keep my mom safe without hurting her in the process? She had been dragged into this. She would ask so many questions that I didn't want to answer. What would I say? That love of her life was a murderer. A sick fuck. That Granny was a bitch who had been drugging me from the start, tempering her daughter. That we were in danger. That they were going to kill us because I was aware of their cruel intentions.
I knew she will be hurt in the end either way. I couldn't change anything. It's destined. I sighed loudly. This was all so disturbing. We stayed silent. My mind was comprehending this new information I was given. But there was one thing that's nagging me.
I drew Alex's attention once more dragging him out of some sort of daze he had fallen into. "There's one more thing I need to know. It's about Destiny."
Alex frowned before urging me to continue. "You said Miles had not told anything to Destiny! Then what did triggered her? What was the reason that led her to her death?"
"Maybe she was traumatized by Miles's sudden disappearance." He reasoned. His eyes welled up again.
"I don't think so. Then why did she take so long? If she wanted to do it she could've done it back then when Miles disappeared. She wouldn't have waited for two years." I put my point. But I guess I was not making any sense.
"She's gone. She's d-dead. Why are you making issue of her death? She killed herself, that's all." I didn't know what was he feeling right now? He had lost almost everyone in his life. He just didn't want to dig corpse anymore. And here I was pouring salt on his wounds. I was an awful person.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I didn't want to hurt you. I know it's hard for you. But, maybe she knew something that she couldn't tell. Miles had said that he didn't want anyone to get hurt, then why would he hurt the love of his life?" Alex was deeply in thought. I never wanted to hurt her.
Alex stayed quiet. I guess my words made sense after all. "You're right. Maybe.... she did knew something." He said after a long silence.
"Maybe there's someone who can tell us." I suggested.
"Wha-who?" He asked. His eyes lit up.
"Destiny's therapist! Maybe they know. Drew once mentioned that he used to take her for therapy session." I suggested, trying to be reasonable.
"Where are you going with it?" Alex asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. He still thought it's futile to try.
"It's not the time to explain. Just follow me." I got up abruptly from the chair and rushed towards the front door. I haee something to clear.
"Claire!?!!!!!!!" He called out as he stood as well.
"Don't question! Just grab the car keys." I headed toward Alex's car.
I know, Miles wouldn't hurt the love of his life intentionally!