"Wake up babe, you've got at least ten shoots today" shoots? Did I forget to turn in my yearbook photo essay? The voice is vaguely familiar, though distant in my cloudy mind.
"Ugh," I moan my head is pounding and my stomach is churning.
"Babe, wake up your dad has the driver out front it's rude to keep him waiting." I let out a short laugh. It's probably my friend Delancey playing a trick on me. A fucking driver. Ha.
"How fucked up did we get last night Del?" My head is smacked with a heavy ass pillow and I sit up immediately ready to throw down.
"Del what the-" my heart drops all the way to my ass and my mouth falls to my toes.
"Kim Kardashian" the reality television goddess herself looks at me with a wry smile pulling the pillow she assaulted me with away from my body.
"Mom works too you know," she says with an eye roll and its then that I notice the slight difference. Her hair is Draco Malfoy blonde and small crow's feet wrinkles around her almond shaped eyes and the tight smile lines surrounding her mouth.
"How late were you out last night Soso?" Who? Kim Kardashian asks her gaze suspicious and quizzical.
"I... I um..." She rolls her eyes again and lets out a huff of air.
"Do daddy and I need to keep tabs on you like we do for Nori?"
"What?" She gets off of my bed and walks over to a grand vanity it's then that I take the opportunity to look around my bedroom.
Gone were the faded Jonas brother posters and sports participation medals, instead the walls were covered in photos of myself... Though not quite myself. A high fashion version of myself.
"Kim-" She turns around with an icy glare and holds up a finger as she taps away on her phone.
"I'm texting daddy. I don't know what's been up with you lately South West, but it needs to stop you have obligations, responsib-" I look up at the glass chandelier that hangs pendulously in the middle of the bedroom... My bedroom.
"Sorry Ki- mom. I've just been super stressed out from all of the... Shoots" she pauses. A long nail poised over the next set of letters before she sighs and gives up.
"You're eighteen. I get it, it's a lot to process, but Nori is doing the same thing and she's flourishing under the pressure you can do the same I-"
"You're so right Ki- mom. What time is my first shoot?"
"Soso Nana Kris has your schedule you know this. Should I call a doctor?" Her face twists in concern and I shake my head reaching across for my cellphone. Instead of my usual cracked down the middle phone was an iPhone 6 S shining and rose gold. The stuff of WeHeartIt dreams.
"I'll call Nana Kris right now okay? Leave so I can get dressed?" I bat my eyes at her and she sighs before kissing me on the forehead.
"Ten minutes!" She calls before moving out to the hallway I nod absently and open the notes app on my new phone.
"Oh and honey?" I look up from my frantic search and gulp.
"Yes?" Kim peaks her head into the bedroom again and gives a cheeky smile,
"Call Justin, he's rung the house phone twice! "
"Will do!" I lie. Who the fuck was Justin. Kim leaves again and I type down what I know in my notes app.
1.) My name is Lane Leilio and I am eighteen years old.
2.) I am in an alternate dimension.
3.) Kim Kardashian Called me South West.
4.) South West is a stupid name and Kim Kardashian is my mother.
5.) My real mother is Jennifer Leilio, an accountant.
6.) Kanye West is my father.
7.) My real father is unknown.
8).
Before I can type the eighth fact a beautiful girl with glowing brown skin and wavy hair down to her back walks into my room and launches herself onto the bed.
Before I can type the eighth fact a beautiful girl with glowing brown skin and wavy hair down to her back walks into my room and launches herself onto the bed
"What'd you do to mom? She's pissed" no fucking way.
"North?" She raises and eyebrow and looks at me with concern,
"South?" I gulp and shake my head.
"Nothing. Um you know how she gets" North accepts my explanation and sucks happily on a lollipop.
"Mr. Big MC was blowing up my phone all morning. You ignoring him?" The lollipop is moved to the inside of her cheek.
"Who?" My heart stops as I wait for confirmation.
"Justin. Your boyfriend? Literally texting and calling me the whole day, pick up your phone he thinks you're like, dead."
"Okay. Okay. Get out I have to get dressed" she pulls the lollipop out of her mouth and kisses me on the cheek."
"No more parties in LA Soso" she sings before leaving. I go back to my list.
8.) North West is my sister.
9.) North West is not a baby.
10.) not only am I in an alternate reality. I'm in an alternate timeline.
I glance over to the nightstand next to my bed and see a picture of North, Kendall, Kylie and I all decked out in Balmain. Olivier Rousteng himself in the middle of us. Kendall and Kylie appear to be the exact same age as North and I. Which probably explained why Kim looked so much older.
11.) Justin Bieber.
Another photo frame in the room shows Justin Bieber and I locked in a steamy looking kiss. Is hands grabbing my bikini clad but as we made out on a boat. I look closer. It's a yacht.
12.) Bieber is my boyfriend.
13.) ^^^^holy fuck.
14.) ^^ I am never drinking alcohol again.
15.) where is here?
16.) Do I want to leave?
17.) Did I finish my Calc. homework? (Lol no.)
I pause at window and see Kim sunning in a black bikini next to a huge pool.
My pacing gets faster and I almost shit myself when a loud knock echoes throughout the room.
"SoSo if you aren't gonna use the car can I bum it? I told Reign that I'd chill with him today!" A young guy walks into my room decked out in some serious bling, a fedora, and the coveted pair of Yeezy's that had always been on my friend Carson's Pinterest board.
"Um, yeah you can bum it I have my own car right?" He raises and eyebrow and walks further into my room.
"You good sis?" Sis?
"Yeah I just um, you know got sorta fucked up last night" he nods in understanding and then walks over to the vanity before reaching into a ceramic bowl that sits on the surface. He takes his hand out and tosses me a heavy set of keys complete with a bright pink pom pom keychain. I had a feeling that it was the Fendi one I'd dreamed about.
"You good to drive though? I can call another driver I just prefer Henry you know because Bianca is trying to get this dick for real" I scrunch my nose up and he laughs.
"I think it's gross too! How old do you think she is like forty?" I shrug because I had no idea who the fuck Bianca was.
"Anyway Nori said that you were going to chill with Justin later, tell him that the EP he sent me was fire your dude has major bars SoSo" I smile wryly and nod before biting my lip.
"I'll tell him for you... Saint" the name was a wild guess and I'm thrilled when he takes it and nods before pulling me in for a hug.
"Love you Sos, thank you!" He leaves and I'm left to examine the keys in my hands. The big ass Mercedes symbol is a far cry from my Toyota Corolla back home. My phone rings and I race over to it hoping by some miracle that I know the contact calling. The word 'Bizzle' flashes across the screen and I curse my parallel self for not assigning a contact picture.
"Hello?"
"South!" The voice on the other line is smooth and for some reason my skin erupts into goosebumps.
"Yeah?"
"Where have you been? You left the party so early last night and when you didn't call me today I got worried as fuck!" The genuine concern touches my heart and I wonder who I'm speaking to.
"I-I'm sorry I just felt sort of sick I guess..."
"Yeah I know Kendall told me that you threw up twice on the way back to your parent's place! I wanted to come over, but they said you were out cold" I press a hand to my face. I was with Delaney and Carson last night not this Bizzle guy or Kendall fucking Jenner for that matter.
"I have to go to the studio right now, but I'm still going to pick you up from your shoot for lunch right?"
" Um, yeah, that's fine do you know where it is?" There's a pause and I guess it's a stupid question for South West to ask.
"It's with Gigi and Brooklyn right? At his studio, or did they change it?" I shake my head before realizing he can't actually see the acton.
"Uh, yeah it is, my bad"
"you feeling okay baby? It's cool to take a break every once in awhile ja feel?" I nod and rub a hand over my face before pausing. Wait... Baby?
"Justin?" I test out my name guessing skills once again and I nearly fall over when he responds.
"Yeah babe?" I was talking to Justin Bieber... My boyfriend.
"Nothing see you for lunch!" I hang up the phone in a nervous rush before deciding to take a quick breather. While I'm trying to steady my breaths my phone rings again the name ' Nana K' flashes angrily.
"Kris?"
"Nana Kris! You get old and kids lose all respect..." comes the recognizable voice of Kris Jenner. I take a deep, shaking breath.
"What's up Nana Kris?" She sighs like I've wronged her or something.
"South no middle name that I'm aware of West do you know what time it is?"
"Uh... 9:30?"
"You were supposed to show up for your Harper's Bazaar shoot at 9:00!" I suck in a breath. Was I some kind of model or what?" Kris Jenner continues to berate me and I put her on speaker as I wander into my closet and pick out a pair of expensive looking jeans and a t-shirt.
"Do you even want this career sweetie? I'm sure that we could get you a singing contract maybe with Biz-"
"I'll be there in ten Nana Kris," I lie easily because in all actuality I have no idea how long it'll take for me to get out of my disoriented funk.
I race downstairs and my breath is taken away by the house.
"Holy fuck" I hiss and I jump and nearly fall down the winding staircase when a reprimanding voice calls out from behind me,
"watch your mouth South" No way.
"You Nori and Saint have the worst potty mouths. Is that on me?" Kanye West asks as he passes me on the stairs, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"Sorry Ka- dad," I press a hand to my forehead and will myself to wake up.
"Are you okay SoSo? Got your ma real mad at you. She's never tanned this early, and without sunscreen? She wylin'." I follow him into the kitchen and he reaches into the fridge for orange juice.
"Want some?" I shake my head and decline he looks at me before shrugging. It's then that I notice that his eyes are different from my world's Kanye. This Kanye has piercing gray eyes.
"Saint told me you let him use Henry, you cool to drive? Saw Kendall bringing you in late last night" my cheeks heat up.
"Am I like, grounded or something?" He laughs and it's then that I realize that I'm experiencing one of those rare 'happy faced Kanye moments' that probably weren't so rare in his own home.
"Grounded? No, but try to tone it down alright? I'm not tryna give you a detail as tough as your sister's" was North really so much trouble? Kanye sips away at his OJ and I start to leave before he clears his throat.
"What?"
"You so grown you can't give your old man a kiss?" He taps his cheek and I grin before placing a kiss there and then heading out again. I'd never had a dad figure in my life, so maybe this reality wasn't a total shit show.
It takes me several moments to find where the West clan stored their cars. I try not to look confused while I pass several maids and various other workers who greet me and ask about my day. The garage is as opulent as the rest of the house cars of all makes and models on display and when I click the keys and rejoice when a large Gwagon comes to life, honking and beeping, calling my name. Well... 'South's' name.
My phone dings with a texts from Kris and when I open it the directions to my first shoot appear. I type the coordinates into my gps and then peel out of the garage.
Pulling out of the driveway proves to be insanely difficult because as soon as the automatic gates open a swarm of dudes with cameras start to surround my car.
"Holy fuck. Paparazzi." I say to myself and then I notice a pair of Raybans in the cup holder. With a smile and a middle finger to the photographers I slip them on and continue on my way.
18.) I'll get used to it.