Posted: May. 7, 2016
I took my AP test yesterday and I definitely failed, but I'm happy it's over😅
Read the first chapter of Want, it's up and posted.
This chapter is stupid omg, I didn't want it to go the way it did, but uh, my fingers move quicker than my brain does.
47. Rowan
"So, everything is ready?" Michele asks me, and I nod.
"Yes, what do you think he's going to do?" I ask "I don't want him to be mad, but I don't want him to be happy either" I bite my lip.
"I honestly think he's going to be surprised" She laughs.
"I've never done anything like this" I shake my head "God, I'm so nervous"
"Take a deep breath, it'll be alright" Michele rubs my back, we sit down at the island in the kitchen waiting for Austin to come home, my foot tapping against the ground.
"So, did he tell you he's selling the penthouse?" I ask, and she nods.
"Yeah, he told me. He told me why too"
"Yeah, he told me why but I don't know how to feel about it. Like I'm happy we're serious but we haven't even been dating a year yet" I sigh.
"Have you told him that?" She asks and I shake my head.
"I'm scared to. I don't want him to get angry with me"
"There's no reason he should get angry, just talk with him" She smiles warmly, and the door knob to the front door twists, the door opening.
"Hey Babe" Austin walks over to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder "Hi mom"
"Hi Honey" Michele grins.
"Come sit" I say, pulling Austin to the living room to sit on the couch "I'll be right back" I kiss his lips quickly before walking to the kitchen grabbing the envelope from the counter. I walk back into the living room and hand him the envelope telling him to open it. Michele fights a laugh as he looks at the envelope in confusion.
"What is it?" He asks, looking at my handwriting along the front.
"Just open it" I roll my eyes with a laugh. He tears open the envelope, pulling out the small picture, his eyes widening.
"Rowan, what is this?" He asks, holding up the ultrasound picture "Why does this say Happy Fathers Day, Rowan?" He asks frantically.
"Just keep going" I roll my eyes and he pulls out the card "Read the inside... Out loud"
"Too bad Father's Day isn't in April, this is a definite April Fools moment. I love you, Rowan" He reads off, his eyes flickering up to mine "That's not funny"
"I know, it really isn't" I shake my head.
"Rowan, I'm serious"
"I know, I know" I nod, and he huffs standing up from the couch.
"Now that this is over, I'm going to go shower" He says, walking off to the bathroom.
"I can't tell if he's angry or not" I tell Michele and she shrugs.
"Me neither" She says "But uh, I don't want to stick around to find out so I'll be going back to my hotel. I'll see you later" She hugs me tightly.
"Bye Michele" I say as she walks out of the living room, the front door opening and closing. I walk off to Austin's room, and lay in his bed, waiting for him to get out of the shower. When he does he walks into the room and throws on a pair of sweatpants before sitting down on the bed.
"Are you mad at me?" I ask with a pout, sitting up in bed.
"No" He shakes his head "I'm not mad"
"Even though there's not an actual baby, you can always be my Papi" I tease, kissing his neck lightly. He doesn't seem to amused as he sighs and lays back in bed, turning on his side "Austin, what's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong" He shrugs, pulling the blankets up to his neck "I'm just tired"
"But it's 6:30"
"I had a long day" He says, and I sigh heavily getting out of his bed.
"Okay, well I'm just going to go eat I guess" I say, walking out of his room and to the kitchen. I sit down at the island and call Michele, waiting for her to pick up.
"So, how'd it go?" She asks.
"He's not mad, but he's pretty upset. He's barely talking to me" I sigh.
"I didn't expect that reaction"
"It didn't go as I planned, I didn't mean to make him this upset" I frown.
"He'll come around, he'll tell you why he got upset and it'll all be alright"
"Okay, I guess you're right"
"I'm always right. But I'll talk to you soon, bye bye"
"Bye" I say, hanging up the phone. My eyes flicker to the door as it swings open and they widen as Mack walks in.
"So you're still around huh?" She rolls her eyes.
"Why are you here?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest "Don't you live in Miami?"
"Am I not allowed to vacation? Austin called me telling me he wants to talk so I agreed" She shrugs "Now if you'll excuse me" She rolls her eyes, walking off to Austin's room.
"Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or did Mack just ask in here?" Trish asks.
"Nope, she's here" I huff "I still want to know why she hates me so much"
"I don't even know" She shakes her head "But I'm going to lock myself in my room before she sees me" Trish says, running off to her room. I decide that though I shouldn't, I'm going to eavesdrop, so I walk to the end of the hallway standing outside Austin's door to listen to their conversation.
"What do you mean you're overreacting, what she did wasn't cool" Mack scoffs.
"Yeah, but she didn't exactly know how I'd react" Austin says "But I don't know, I guess for that second I thought it was real I was kind of excited, but now that I know it's not it's depressing"
"This is why I don't like her" Mack sighs "She's so inconsiderate and thinks everything is a joke but it really isn't" She spits, and I wait for Austin to defend me, but he never does.
"I don't know what to do Mack, I can't just go tell her how I feel"
"Why not? Isn't that the point of a relationship?"
"I don't really think you're an expert on relationships" Austin sighs.
"Though I,any not be an expert and I may mess things up. Trish and I could tell each other everything, no matter what it was"
"I don't really think I feel that way with Rowan" He sighs, and my heart twists in my chest "I'm not saying I'm like keeping things from her, but I haven't told her some things, or if I did it was never the whole story"
"Then the only question is, is it even worth it?" Mack asks, and I hear footsteps approach the door so I run back to the kitchen sitting back down in the chair I occupied when Mack walked in. She walks out of the room, and walks past me giving me a smirk before leaving Austin's penthouse.
I walk to Trish's room and knock on the door, opening it a second later "Um, I'm going home so I'll see you soon"
"Oh, okay" She nods "See you" She smiles, and I shut the door, walking out of Austin's penthouse and calling for a taxi. I take it to Rosa's house, hoping that she isn't busy. I use my key to unlock her door and I walk inside seeing her sitting on her couch, eating from a bowl.
"Hey, what's wrong?" She asks, patting the spot next to her "I have some leftover mashed potatoes if you want them" She hands me the bowl and I thank her "Now tell me everything"
"How is what you did inconsiderate if you didn't even know how he was going to react? Does he expect you to know how he's going to react if he doesn't tell you everything?" Rosa scoffs after I tell her the whole story.
"I don't know" I shake my head.
"Sorry you're not a mind reader" She rolls her eyes "I mean it's thee 21st fucking century learn how to take a joke"
"But I don't know what hurts more, the fact that he doesn't tell me stuff, or that he called Mack to complain about me" I sigh.
"He knows she hates you so he calls her to complain about you so there's no one to defend you so he can say whatever he wants and no one will scold him. It's pathetic really" Rosa rolls her eyes "I didn't think he was capable of being an asshole"
"I did" I nod "He's just been too nice so it was bound to happen. I'm guessing that whole 'honeymoon' phase is over now"
"Well, if he calls don't answer. He needs to feel bad"
"But that's mean" I frown.
"If I were you, I'd dump him, so is it really mean?" She asks, and I shrug.
"Why would you dump him?"
"Because he let someone talk shit about you and didn't defend you, he complained about you to someone that doesn't like you and he's been keeping stuff from your for the expanse of your relationship. There's no trust and what's a relationship without trust" She sighs.
"You're right" I sigh "I hate to admit it but you are"
***
I stand outside the front door to Austin's penthouse, biting my lip. I hadn't talked to him in nearly a week, unless it was a quick text message about my bakery. I take a deep breath and knock on Austin's door, and it opens a minute or two later.
"Hi, I uh, think we need to talk"
"Um, okay" He nods, opening the door wider ad letting me step inside "Do you want to sit?"
"I'd rather not, I need to be back at the bakery in like 20 minutes"
"Oh, alright" He nods "Well what do you want to talk about?"
"Us" I answer simply and he nods.
"What about us?"
"I don't think we're working out" I say slowly, not wanting to say it.
"What? Why?" He frowns.
"I just don't feel like there's any trust. I heard you talking to Mack, and I know that you don't tell me everything, even when I do. I just- I don't want you to feel like it's basically a struggle to be with me. So I think it's best if we aren't together anymore" I sigh, and he shakes his head.
"It's not a struggle to be with you, Rowan I love you so much" He takes my hand in his.
"And you're going to find someone you love more than me. I guarantee it, but I have to go" I take my hand from his grip "I love you Austin" I kiss his cheek, walking out of his penthouse and down to Rosa's car. When I get inside, I lean my forehead against the steering wheel, sobbing uncontrollably.
Upon regaining composure I drive back to the bakery and walk inside, handing Rosa her car keys "Do you want to go home?"
"Yes" I nod, my bottom lip quivering.
"Come on, I'll take you home while we close for lunch" She grabs my hand leading me back out to her car.
"I love you Rowan" Rosa sighs as we pull up out front of my house.
"I love you Rosa" I nod, getting out of her car and walking up to my door and inside of my house. I flop down onto my couch, my phone buzzing like crazy with mentions from Twitter, all of the tweets asking if Austin and I broke up. I open Twitter to figure out why, but my question is answered when I see tweets from Austin.
@austinmahone: I will always love you, no matter what. No one can replace you.
@austinmahone: I miss you already, come back to me😩💔
I start a tweet of my own, crying quietly as I hit tweet.
@rowanmendo: I don't know if I can ever come back😔
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That
Was
Depressing
I love you all
Sincerely,
Bad_Boy_Hemmo