Chapter 29
"If you had been a little considerate and thought for one minute about how this would affect my career, then maybe you wouldn't have thrown away my pills, and we wouldn't be arguing right now!"
"What? I'm now to be blamed for you being too busy to realize I threw away your pills? And if you're thinking about an abortion, then FORGET it! I know this is about you again but what about me? What about this poor innocent child? Don't you feel anything?" He moves close and touches my belly. I move away.
"I am scared. I'm not ready yet." My eyes begin to soak up.
"You've never been ready for anything. Unless someone pushes you to. You're too much of a procrastinator! It's about time you think about yourself, about this family. Stop being selfish for once!" And with those words, he walks out of the bedroom. I cannot believe he called me selfish. I am everything but selfish. I keep wiping tears off my face, and for the first time, I don't have anyone to talk to. Someone motherly to give me advice; the only person I can think of is Leslie. I know I can call Grandma Lisa, but I feel she has already given the advice I need. I throw away the doctor's advice in the trash and drive to meet Leslie at Café Mocha.
"You are rich, educated, and capable of taking care of a child. Plus, Justin is more than willing to help you in every stage so what now?"
"I am... I'm... I'm just so scared that I might not be a good mother, that my career might fall on rocks, and that by the time I return, someone might be the next Kylie. I'm not ready to give it all up." I cry out. She pats me gently on the hand.
"Nobody can ever be 'the next Kylie'. You will always be the Goddess of Commercials! No one will steal that! And I'll always be here for you. You can always pick your career up. Having kids didn't make Cardi B quit rap, neither did it stop Nicki Minaj. Plus, I even think it's high time you did something great for yourself."
I wipe a tear from the corner of my eye. "What do you mean?" I ask in a low voice, oblivious to what she's talking about.
"Don't you want to be a millionaire or a billionaire like Rihanna and Genevieve Nnaji? Start up a business! Makeup lines aren't really famous in this part of the world. You can actually be the first celebrity to own a makeup brand in Ghana. You can even add a clothing line. You'll be in your 30s soon. Leave a legacy! Don't just hang your whole life around being a model; set a record! And you can always be a businesswoman and a mother as well. You won't be the first or last person. Look at me, I'm almost 40. I have three kids, and I'm still working, right?" I chuckle at her last sentence.
"I know what you're thinking. I got married early just like you, and I had all my children fast. And now, I'm free! No more babies. My eldest is 20, and he will take care of his two younger siblings. Embrace this new phase and opportunity life is giving you." If not for the fact that we are in a cafeteria and there's so much space between us, I would hug Leslie so tight.
Coming home to meet a grumpy Justin sitting glued to his laptop is something I will never get used to, but I'm forever used to the way his face lights up when he sees me.
"Where are you coming from?" He queries in a firm stiff voice.
"I went to..."
"You are so stubborn!" He slams his hand on the dining table. "You drove out in this cold weather wearing that?" His eyes scrutinize my leggings and crop top.
"It's leggings! And it's covering my legs." I reply and bypass him to the kitchen counter. I pour a glass of water and gulp it down my throat.
"You are PREGNANT for Christ's sake! Don't you..."
I don't let him finish when I plant a soft kiss on his lips. I know exactly what to do to shut him up, especially when he's talking more than he is allowed to.
"I'm keeping the baby." I reveal, and for a moment, he is quiet, as if he didn't hear what I said. He then raises me in his arms and spins me around, almost making me dizzy.
"I am so happy we are doing this. I promise to do everything to make you comfortable." He says after he has lowered me on the couch. I nod and laugh as he plasters kisses on my face. That smile he has on his face is priceless. I can't believe I wanted to snatch this feeling and experience away from him. I feel ashamed just thinking of what I had wanted to do.