dokyeom is spending another night subjecting himself to what is equivalent to torture in his mind. his chest tightens as he holds you in his arms as you cry over some new guy, a situationship that ended brutally. you have been his best friend for years now, being so close that you both know everything about each other. dokyeom can't quite put a time cap on when everything changed, but he's been falling in love with you every single day for the last year. he's been here for you through everything, through every new guy and every date gone wrong. he wants to scream half the time. he wants to shake every single man who's ever gotten to go out with you and snap them into reality. how could they mess up so bad with the most wonderful girl he's ever known? if he was them, he would do it right. he'd never make you cry, that's for sure. you wouldn't be sitting here on a friday night with a broken heart.
"i just really thought he was going to be different this time" you say, choking on your words as you soak his hoodie with tears.
dokyeom sighs, his heart pinching at your sadness, wishing he could take it all away and absorb it for you. he changes his position on the couch, wrapping his arms around you tighter and scooping you into his lap.
"i know, i know. it's okay" he says, not knowing what else to say except to let you cry. you lift your head up off of him for a moment, noticing how wet you have made his hoodie. you feel bad, knowing this has happened one too many times. you are tired of guys leaving you broken like this.
"i'm sorry about that" you say, your eyes drifting down to where your tears soaked the fabric. you look back up at him, meeting his eyes as he shakes his head softly, giving you a shy smile as to say not to worry about it.
"he was an asshole. these douchebags don't deserve you, y/n." he speaks softly, but firmly. his eyes darken, feeling angry as he thinks about said douchebag, and how he would kill him if he could. i would treat you so much better, he thinks.
you shake your head, disagreeing. "i'm starting to think that maybe its me, kyeom" you admit honestly, laying your head back down on his shoulder. you don't get to rest it there for long as you feel his hand under your chin, lifting your face up to look at him.
he looks down at you, his eyes sad and gloomy, your self deprecating words feeling like a dagger through his chest.
"don't say that, y/n. please. you are the most amazing girl, they are fucking stupid" he says, releasing his hand from your chin and running a hand through his own hair. you can see the frustration written all over his face. you're not sure what exactly is causing it, but you are sure that he must be tired of having to comfort you like this all the time. you scoot off his lap and move onto the other side of the couch, pulling your legs up to your chest.
he watches as you create the distance between him, and he sinks deeper into the couch. he wants to tell you he loves you. he wants to tell you that you should be with him, and that he would give you everything you deserve. but he knows you don't feel the same, and he can't risk that. he would lose his best friend, and thats something too precious for him to mess up. he turns towards you, sitting criss cross on the couch as he thinks about how to proceed. you look at him as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, never successfully getting any words out.
"i know this is probably so annoying. i'm sorry, i should just go home" you mumble, pushing yourself up off the couch. you only make it a step before you feel dokyeom gently grab your wrist, pulling you back down.
he feels like crying, but bites his lip as the burning feeling in his throat takes over his mind. he feels like he fucked up, and he doesn't know how to fix it. he doesn't want you to go home. he wants you to stay here and lay with him until everything else disappears and you forget all about every guy who's ever hurt you.
"i just don't like to see you treated like this. i'm never annoyed, i'm always here for you. please don't push me away" he frowns, looking down at his lap.
you smile to yourself lightly, knowing that he means it when he says he's here for you. you can't think of a time where he wasn't here for you to fall back on, and you do the same for him in a heartbeat. he's always been very protective of you, something your friends always pointed out and constantly nagged you saying that he's in love. you would always roll your eyes, saying that he's your best friend, and you are sure he feels the same way.
he asks a shy "what?" as he notices your smile, fighting back a smile of his own.
"thank you for always being here for me" you say, meaning it and knowing you don't sat it enough.
"hey" he shrugs with a smile, "thats what best friends are for". he winces internally as he says the latter, forcing on a smile. your words were sweet, but he wishes he could be there for you in a different way. by the look on your face he can tell you still have things you want to get off your chest, but you're holding back. you can't hide anything from him anymore, he can read you like an open book. he knows you know that.
he moves closer to you on the couch, getting just close enough so that your knees are touching. "please let it all out" he urges softly, patting your knee.
you sigh, knowing you would feel better if you did. "i just don't understand why i can't find a good guy anywhere. is it too much to ask for someone who pays attention to me? someone who knows everything about me without having to say a word? i just want to have someone who feels like an extension of me. to be able to be in a room with them and sit in silence without it being awkward. to come home to someone everyday and feel loved for the first time. i want a guy who will know the perfect dates to take me on, and know my favorite food and my favorite book, and why i hate watching scary movies" you pause, realizing you've been talking for a really long time. "i'm sorry, i'm rambling" you mumble, feeling embarrassed.
you finally meet his eyes, seeing something in them you've never noticed before. he's fiddling with his fingers, biting his lip as if he's thinking if he wants to say what he's thinking or not.
"kind of sounds like me, to me" he finally says, so quietly that you almost don't make out what he said. you furrow your eyebrows, confused at the statement.
"what?" you ask, although you heard every word he said.
he looks up at you, feeling wavered confidence wash over him for a moment. it's now or never. he clears his throat, speaking louder this time.
"i said that kind of sounds like me" he says bravely, meeting your eyes. he moves in even closer to you, slowly. your legs are touching, and your bodies are only inches away. you feel your breath hitch as his face moves towards yours until he's centimeters away. you've never know how badly you truly wanted this until you notice the butterflies in your stomach, and how you think you might stop breathing. he puts his hand on your thigh, rubbing his thumb back and forth.
"right now you are feeling nervous, and thinking about how weirdly good this feels, even though you've never wanted to admit it to yourself. your favorite food is fettuccine alfredo, even though it makes your stomach hurt every time, you always say that its worth it. your perfect date would be in the fall, finding a farm to go to where you can pick your own pumpkins. then you would want to go home and carve it together, after stopping for coffee at your favorite cafe, of course. your favorite book is little women, you've read it 4 times already and you've been thinking about starting it again. you hate scary movies so much because of that one time when you were 8 and your brother dressed up as michael myers and hid behind the basement door, jumping out at you after you went to grab more snacks." he stops, noticing a tear falling from your eye as you sniffle a bit.
"i can keep going" he whispers close to your lips, knowing that the single tear is that of happiness, and he would gladly make more fall if it meant that your heart was fluttering as much as his is. he wants to see you smile.
you sit there, his hand on your thigh sending heat flying up your whole body. you can't believe you've never seen it before. he's been the perfect man all along. he's been here the whole entire time, waiting for you to stop being an idiot and admit you've loved him since you first met him. you lean forward, closing the gap between your lips. god, you should have done this years ago.
dokyeom brings his hand up to your cheek, cupping your face as his lips move in harmony with yours. he smiles into the kiss, having to pinch himself to see if this is real life. this is all he's ever wanted. he deepens the kiss as he feels you squirm, wanting to be closer to him. he places his hands on your hips effortlessly pulling you into his lap. you've sat here a million times, platonically. but this is a feeling you never knew was possible. you wrap your arms around his neck, heat rising to your cheeks as he slides his tongue into your mouth. your lips move until you need to stop to catch your breath, although you wish you could go forever. you reluctantly pull away, inhaling dramatically as you get some air. he chuckles at you, bringing his hand down to your lower back.
"that good, huh?" he asks as he smirks at you. he could get used to this.