Danika's POV:
My heart stops as I watch Frank and Jane jump in front of the train. They're gone in a blink of an eye and everything around me stands still.
I can't even hear the train rushing past or the screams of onlookers. I don't hear Hotch calling for me or feel Derek pulling me away from the edge.
Everything inside me feels numb and I can't stop it. I just stare blankly at the back of the train, feeling broken, even lost. Frank was a bad man, but somehow, I feel sad that he's gone.
————
"He's gone. He's really gone." I finally admit out loud as Gideon enters my apartment.
I didn't bother opening the door for him, he let himself in after knocking multiple times. I'm just sitting on the couch where I've been for the past few hours. I wasn't watching the TV or doing anything. Just sitting there, staring blankly at the wall. Playing the scene in my head over and over.
"Yeah, he is." Gideon says as he takes a chair and sits in front of me.
"How do you feel?" He asks and I finally look at his face.
"I don't." I answer with a blank expression and he gulps.
"Danika, listen to me. There's nothing you could've done. Nothing any of us could've done." Gideon tries to assure me as he takes my hands in his.
"I remember everything." I state and he looks at me surprised.
"What do mean?" He asks confused as to what I'm talking about.
"I lied before. I wasn't unconscious in the trailer. I was awake. I saw him kill all three of those people. I was completely awake and conscious for it all." I confess and he just sits there in silence.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Gideon finally asks and I shrug.
"What's there to talk about? It happened. They're dead. I'm not." I mutter and he sighs.
"Their death's weren't your fault." He says, but I don't say anything.
For some reason, I'm not necessarily sad about their deaths. I'm sad that I didn't get to fully enjoy them or feel them. I felt almost left out.
"Danika, you couldn't have done anything for them. You know that right?" He asks.
"He visited me after he escaped." I state about Frank, ignoring his talk.
"When?" He asks.
"A few different times. First right after we got back. And the next time was after I was abducted by Hankel." I explain remembering back to that time.
"Did he say why?" He asks.
"Said he wanted to make sure I was okay." I say blankly and Gideon takes a moment to take it all in.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Gideon asks.
"Because the first time I thought I was hallucinating. And the second time I was too tired for all the questions." I reply and he nods his head, understanding.
"The third time...I should've shot him. Then he wouldn't have hurt your friend." I huff and Gideon tilts his head.
"Look at me, that wasn't your fault. Frank had a way of getting into people's heads. It's what he was good at." Gideon tries to tell me.
"He made me feel...safe. I can't explain it..." I say and Gideon sighs.
"Look at me. It's not your fault." He repeats and brings me into a hug.
————
A few days later I get a hand written letter in the mail. A letter from Jason Gideon.
Dear Danika,
I'm sorry you're finding this out in a letter, but I wanted to make sure you were the first to know. I'm leaving the BAU effective immediately. It's something I've thought long and hard on, and know in my heart that it's the right thing to do for myself.
I want you to know that none of this is your fault. I want to say that again, just in case you glossed over it. NONE OF THIS WAS YOUR FAULT. In fact, if it wasn't for you I don't know if we would've ever caught Frank in the first place.
If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have been able to find humor in this job, again. I want you to know you restored a long burnt out candle in me when you called me Frumpy in thar interrogation room in New York, and then joined the team. You helped me face my fear of failure and reminded me of why I do this. So thank you.
I'm going to miss your pranks and jokes, your bluntness and even your potty mouth. I'm going to miss coming over to the apartment and watching old movies with you, or just staying up late talking. Staying in the building late and watching really old films on my original projector, laughing up a storm even though we watched it multiple times. I'll cherish those moments forever.
I want you to remember who you are now, because everyone can change. You proved that to me when you joined the team.
Again, I'm sorry to do this in a letter, but with your gift I know you will be able to feel the sincerity of my words. I may be leaving, but I'll never be completely gone. I want you to know that I consider you like a daughter to me.
I'm leaving you with my gun and Badge, hide them if you want. I just want to know that they're with someone I trust. I'm going to miss you dearly and I only hope the best for you.
And remember, it's not your fault.
~Love Jason Gideon
Morgan's POV:
Strauss boards the plane and I can only roll my eyes when she acts like she knows what she's doing. I place a picture of one of the victims down in front of her and she looks like she's about to hurl.
We get to the crime scene and Strauss ends up disrespecting the detective on the case within the first minute. I just shake my head as JJ tries to talk to Strauss and it completely backfires.
"Hey, do you know where Danika is?" Prentiss asks me after she's done talking with one of the detectives.
"Haven't seen her in a few days. I think she's taking an extra week. I can't really blame her." I shrug and Prentiss nods her head.
"Yeah, I don't know how I'd react if I saw the person who kidnapped me, jump in front of a train, after professing that he saw me like a daughter either." Prentiss sighs and I clench my jaw remembering it all quite clear and vividly.
I walk away and call Hotch and tell him that Strauss isn't working well with the team.
"How's Danika? Giving Strauss a hard time?" Hotch asks and I furrow my brows.
"Danika's not here." I say and there's a pause.
"The suspension was only two weeks, it's been three." He states confused.
"Guess she needed a bit more time. Maybe she's with Gideon, he's not here either." I explain.
"Yeah, maybe. Okay, each abduction a body drop was fifteen minutes before or after school got out. We could be looking at someone who works in the school system." Hotch suggests.
"Alright, thanks, Hotch. If you have time can you check in on Danika. I'm worried about her, man." I ask.
"Yeah, I was planning on it." He says and then hangs up.
We get back to the precinct when another woman goes missing. We watch a video of a kid going up to the victim. I figure out that the unsub might actually be using his own kid to lure the women. I call Hotch again and get him up to speed on what's going on.
Danika's POV:
A knock on my door disrupts me from drinking my fifth drink and rereading the letter that Gideon left me. I put the letter away again and head towards the door. I look in the peephole and sigh when I see Hotch standing there.
I open the door and he has a determined look on his face.
"Didn't you hear? We're supposed to be suspended." I mutter and leave the door open so he can come in.
"The team needs us. Gideon hasn't shown up and Strauss isn't doing anyone any favors." Hotch explains as he walks over and sees the multiple empty bottles on the table.
"Strauss is out in the field?" I scoff, taking another sip and he nods.
"Well, I don't know if I'm in much shape to be on the job." I state and point to the bottles.
"I'll tell you what, if you really don't want to go see Strauss struggle out on the field, I'll leave you alone to finish your drinks. But if you do want to watch her possibly make a fool out of herself, I have your extra go-bag in my car and we can head out now, get some coffee to sober you up." He offers and I narrow my eyes, knowing what he's trying to do.
"I thought I was supposed to, what was the phrase you always use...respect my boss." I counter with a small smirk and he chuckles.
"That's what I usually say, yes." He agrees.
"But, just this once I want to let you prove her wrong. She thinks she's qualified to be out on the field." He explains.
"And you disagree." I state and he sighs but nods.
"Too bad I don't have my gun and badge." I sigh as I walk over to the wall.
"Those are only hardware." Hotch counters and I go over and punch the wall, then grab the extra gun I stored in there.
"True, but they sure fucking help." I chuckle and he just stares at me with a smirk as he shakes his head.
"I wish I could say I was surprised." He scoffs.
"Well, I just made popcorn to watch a movie. Guess watching Strauss fall on her ass will be entertainment enough." I state as I walk over to the microwave and get the popcorn bag.
Hotch chuckles and shakes his head and opens the door for me. We get to his car and it's quiet for the first few minutes of the car ride.
"What's up?" I ask knowing something's wrong.
"Haley...she didn't want me to leave. I was planning on transferring to a different department but..." He starts saying and then stops.
"But what?" I ask.
"Then Morgan called me I knew it wasn't just a job. It's who I am." He admits out loud.
"Just, stay by the car when we get there. I don't need to give her a reason to write you up." He explains about Strauss and I nod understanding.
—————
We get to the new crime scene after getting some coffee for me. I grab my bag of popcorn and eat some as Strauss trips and almost fall on the body. I chuckle when she almost looses it and I just eat a mouthful of popcorn.
Hotch just smirks and shakes his head at me.
Derek comes over and grabs a handful with a chuckle and a knuckle rub to the head.
"Welcome back, short stack." He mocks.
"Had to see the show." I say once I swallow.
"You missed the call from Garcia." He sighs and I smirk.
"Damn, it must've been good!" I mutter annoyed that I wasn't there.
"She started the phone conversation with 'talk dirty to me' the look on Strauss' face was priceless." Derek laughs and I wish I could've been there to see it all unfold.
"Don't worry, I got a video." He assures me and I cackle.
—————
We figure out the kid's name is David Smith and get his address through his principal. She goes to introduce us but the teacher says the nurse drove him home because he wasn't feeling good.
We get to Smith's house and find the kid alone in the living room. Strauss says we don't have probable cause to enter and I scoff. I give Hotch my gun and Strauss furrows her brows.
"Keep it on you." Hotch orders and gives it back to me.
"You can't do this!" Strauss growls at us.
"What? Knock on a door?" I scoff.
"You're clearly intoxicated!" She argues.
"Can you prove it?" I sneer and she goes to the car to get the breathalyzer.
"She makes it so goddamn easy." I smirk and walk up to the house.
Before Strauss can do anything to stop me, I knock on the door and the boy opens the door.
"Hey, I'm a friend of your dad's. Is he home by any chance?" I ask.
"Yeah, he's busy inside." The kid answers.
"Do you think I could come in and wait?" I ask and the kid shrugs and let's me come in.
I look around and it looks normal enough, living room with a tv and a couch and a few chairs.
"Do you know where he is by any chance?" I ask and he point to a door by the stairs.
"He's working in there." He explains and nod and head down the steps with my gun out.
Just as I make it to the last step I'm smacked in the head with a fucking two by four. My gun flies out of my hands and I tumble down to the ground. The dad rushes over and grabs the gun and gives it to his son. He tells his son to point the gun at me and pull the trigger.
A shot goes off and I feel the bullet rip through my left arm. I put pressure on the wound and groan, luckily I'm not completely sober so it doesn't hurt as much.
I hear the door being kicked down and multiple footsteps making their way towards us. Hotch arrives first and gets the boy to drop the gun. Derek cuffs the dad while Hotch calls for a bus.
The teacher is release from her restraints and I'm brought out of to the ambulance so they can patch me up.
Prentiss comes over to see how I'm doing and I make sure that Strauss is out of earshot.
"Heard you told Strauss to go fuck herself." I say and she furrows her brows.
"She wanted you to give her dirt on Hotch." I explain and she gulps.
"I'll admit, I was tempted at first. But then I saw the way you guys look out for each other and I realized I wanted to be part of it." She confesses and I nod.
"Welcome to the team, Emily." I say and pat her on the shoulder and hop off the ambulance.
"Just like that?" She asks.
"You proved to me that you care more about the team than what Strauss thinks of you." I shrug and she smiles.
————
Later at night I get a knock on the door and I just tell the person to come in, not feeling like getting up. The door opens and Hotch walks in. I sit up surprised, not thinking it would have been him.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing." Hotch says, but I'm not buying it.
"Phones were invented quite a few years ago. Why are you really here?" I ask.
"Haley left me." He confesses and sits down next to me.
"Gideon left me." I admit and he furrows his brows and I hand him the letter.
"I'm figuring Reid found his letter at the cabin by now." I say and Hotch gulps.
"This is why you didn't want to go back." He figures after he reads it.
"Yeah, I was planning on quitting." I admit out loud and Hotch looks worried.
"Until you knocked on my door, then I realized you wouldn't have anyone to be a pain in your ass." I say and he chuckles.
"Gideon leaving isn't your fault." Hotch assures me after a few minutes of silence and I look at my hands in my lap.
"Isn't it? I'm the reason Frank came back. The reason Gideon's friend was murdered in his house." I counter.
"That's not true." He shakes his head.
"Maybe." I shrug and get up from the couch.
"Hey, you're supposed to take it easy." He says and I roll my eyes.
I go to the fridge and grab two hard apple ciders and pop the tops off. I go back over to the couch and hand one to Hotch.
"Thanks." He says with a smirk.
"To joined loss." I mutter then clink drinks and take a sip.