Alyssa
my eyes opened slowly, feeling the burning ray of sunlight penetrate its way through my eyelids. for a moment, i laid there confused as my brain wondered. groaning, i opened my eyes fully as i took in my surroundings. my eyes immediately fell upon the sleeping Alexandra beside of me, she looked so at peace.
her hair, falling over her shoulders, a few strands lying so gracefully over her cheek. i couldn't help but smile as i watched her in awe, biting my bottom lip.
i found myself lying there, admiring every feature on her, watching her she slept every so peaceful beside me. how had i allowed us to get this close? how did all of this happen in three months?
in dull moments, i found myself asking myself was it worth it? but the smile that lit up on my face when she came around, so was. my heart smiled when i thought of her, which was every growing second.
fuck, what were you doing to me, Alex?
checking the time, it read a few minutes after seven, and a Sunday.
pulling my attention back to Alex, i continued watching her, my eyes dancing across her face. my heartfelt as though it was doing cartwheels as it thumps rapidly inside of my chest. why did i feel this way? ive never felt this way.
placing a hand gently on top of her face, my fingertips grazed across her skin ever so gently. as the hopeless romantic i am, i traced hearts upon her cheek.
why did this feel so right but so wrong? lord, give me an answer.
"Alexandra," i whispered softly, part of me wanted to wake her up but the other half wanted to watch her sleep. she was so at peace, gosh. running my hand down her arm, shaking her gently, "Alexandra, Darling?"
"hmm?" she groaned, snaking an arm around me pulling me closer.
"you have to wake up," tucking my bottom lip, my heart thumped faster inside of my chest as she pulled me closer. "you fell asleep at my apartment, come on."
slowly, her eyes opened, revealing her soft grey eyes. the sun sat so heavenly within them, "why? why can't i stay?"
part of me wanted nothing more than this moment to last forever but i knew all too well that couldn't happen. it felt so wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. but dammit, it was so nice and right.
"you have things to do, im sure of it," i whispered, curling up inside of her arms.
she groaned once more, her eyes never leaving mine, "you look beautiful, do you look like this every morning?"
"maybe," i teased, softly shoving her. "come on though, seriously, you have to get up."
instead, she pulls me more closer, our lips now inches apart as our eyes never left each other.
my eyes trailed across her face and down her collarbone, taking in every inch of her. my hand reaching above hers, sitting on top of her shoulder. her skin was warm to touch and ever so soft.
"you're quieter than usual," she spoke, her voice as soft as her touch. "is there something bugging you? or on your mind?"
shaking my head, "just—just thinking, that's all."
"about?" she questioned, her face holding pure concern. "what's on that crazy brain of yours?"
"a lot," i say, my mind desperately wondering off. sitting up, i pulled my attention forward. "i don't..i don't understand these feelings as best as i should but i try to, i really do. and it's so wrong, Alex, but fuck does it feel so right."
looking back, i watched as she watched me, she sat in silence, "i get it."
"you d—"
"no, Alyssa listen to me," moving closer, she snaked herself arm around me, the warmth of her body heat practically sent shivers down my spine. "i understand you're terrified and i know it's all-new. the absolute worst chill that comes over your body sometimes and most days i want to pull myself away from you but i can't. i try on most days, as you can tell but it hurts to not have you here."
i sigh, frowning as i watch her, "im sorry."
shaking her head, she ran her hand over my back, "im not asking for an apology so don't be, ever. i know this is all new and i don't ever want you to feel overwhelmed by it. i can calm myself until graduation, im patient."
i swallowed the lump inside of my throat, tucking in my bottom lip, "i always ask myself what the hell happened, why did things happen so fast."
she chuckles, hanging her head down low, "i do too. i never thought id come to like you but the more time i spent around you, the more i came to like you. you remind me a lot of my mom."
a small smile formed upon my lips, "do i? how so?"
sliding herself out of bed, she watched me, "one day, one day you'll see."
"whatever," i smile, shaking my head as i slide out of the bed. "are you staying for breakfast or?"
"i don't mind, i had nothing to do no way," she shrugs, fixing her clothes. "you told me to leave though—kind of."
"hmm, oh you can starve," i scoff, shoving her as i watch past her. "come and eat or go home with an empty stomach, Alexandra."
making my way off into the kitchen, i gathered what i needed for breakfast. glancing over at Alex, "do you like eggs?"
she shrugs, "they're okay."
"okay, but would you like some?"
she nods," yeah but mind if i ask you something?"
shaking my head, i began to prepare breakfast, "nope, ask away."
"how did you and Ella meet and how the fuck are you two even friends?"
honestly, i had no idea about this question, Ella and i met at an unexpected time, i truly believe—if i can remember correctly—we met through my brother.
shrugging, "if im not mistaken, we met through my brother. he had his friend over one day and she was there, i believe his friend and her were dating. but that's none of my business."
"hmm, so how did she become so possessive over you? if you don't mind me asking?"
i sigh, pulling myself away from the countertop, "i don't even remember honestly. Although it was small signs i should've paid attention to but i something seen it as being an overprotective friend. but then it came clear that it was more than that when she told me she had feelings for me. i told her i wanted to just be friends—but you know."
"she didn't take that no very well, did she?"
i shake my head, "of course not, and then when you told me she was threatening you, i asked her to stop seeing me and she threw the whole ill get you fired mix in my face."
"and you believe that she'd actually do that?" she folds her arms, lifting her brow. "really though, ask yourself that. you told me, she's Ella Rosemary."
chuckling, i pulled my attention back to the counter, "no but it's a thought, something to think about."
"Alyssa," she says, her raspy voice ringing through my ears.
"Alexandra," glancing at her, i cocked my brow.
she sighs, moving closer to me as she leans on the counter, "did you ever think we'd end up like this?"
"no," i answer honestly, shaking my head. "i never thought id be so vulnerable to you, ever. now, i wouldn't say i was the mean type but i still ask myself what exactly is it that makes me so nice to you."
"Ava told me before you know we started this," she motions her hand between us. "that the reason you moved out was because you had slight feelings towards me, is that true?"
"50/50," i shrug, eyeing her. "like, i kind of developed feelings, in which i shouldn't have but i did. but then i moved out because i needed to and didn't want the awkward tension to rise."
she tilts her head slightly to the side as she smiles, inhaling, she took a big breath before exhaling. her eyes sitting right in mine, our eyes dancing on each other faces.
suddenly, there was a knock at the door, pulling me back to reality as i eyed the food.
"ill grab it," Alex spoke, smiling faintly at me before walking off.
as she stepped away, i began pulling the food out and preparing plates as i cleaned my mess.
"get your shit together, Alyssa," i mumbled to myself, sighing softly.
finishing up, i sat the plates aside as i begin to hear arguing. what the fuck?
quickly, i made my way over to the door and my heart nearly sunk as my eyes landed on Ella.
i just can't catch a break, no?
"Ella—what are you doing here?" i questioned, eyeing her as my brows frowned in confusion.
"well," she says, taking a step closer to me. "i wanted to stop by and ask if you wanted breakfast," she glances back at Alex, giving her a dirty look. "but i didn't know id be interrupting you and her."
"we're not doing anything," i chuckle awkwardly, eyeing her closely. "we're just having breakfast."
Alex eyes me, her face held confusion. simply, i returned her with a small head tilted—non-noticeable.
"well, you wouldn't mind if i joined?" Ella questions, her lips forming a smile that could crack her lips.
"i would actually," i say rudely. "i told you to stop coming back, Ella. it's getting really old and annoying, the threats—"
she chuckles as though something was funny, "i threatened her," she points back at Alex, keeping her eyes sharp on me. "not you, beautiful."
"threat is a threat, Ella," i shrug, turning. "me or her, you're still threatening someone—someone you don't even know."
suddenly, i feel a tight grip on the back of my shirt, causing me to gasp.
"you don't have to touch her, dumbass!" Alex shouts, ripping her off of me. "what's your problem? you're so possessive!"
"and!" she remarks in a rude tone, eyeing Alex with such anger. "what's it to you?! the famous Alexandra Lance, gets what she wants when she wants. me? oh, im nothing but a girl from the south."
"we're in the Midwest," Alex remarks, causing me to laugh. "and even if i did get what i want when i wanted it, at least i don't go around forcing myself into it, for it."
"i know where we're at," she scoffs, looking back at me. "that's funny?"
"don't get your panties in a twist, Ella," i roll my eyes, tilting my head. "i can laugh, shit was kind of funny."
Ella scoffs, backing up towards the door, "you know what, ill leave, i hope you two have an amazing breakfast. but Alyssa? your job? i guess you value this lame over your job, interesting choice."
"damn, all y'all think im lame? a little bit of fame and now im lame?" Alex throws her hands up, laughing.
i chuckle, shrugging, "yeah but you sit here and threaten her for me, of course, im gonna value her life a lot more than a job. tell them, fucking go ahead, Rosemary. if that gets your panties out of the twist and makes you a little bit happier, then so fucking be it. get out!"
"and stay out!" Alex shouts.
"whatever, this isn't over," Ella scoffs, exiting the apartment, shutting the door.
"finally," Alex exclaims, sighing. "can we eat now? my stomach walls are punching each other and screaming right now."
unable to hold my laugh, i throw my hands up as i glance back at her, "you're stupid, you really are, let's go eat."
"Alyssa," she calls out.
"hmm?"
"do you really value my life more than your job?" she sighs quietly, hanging her head down low as if she's not pleased with her question.
nodding my head, "yes, yes i do. many might say that's stupid but so is threatening someone because of a fucking crush. so, you tell me what's stupider."