"Ava!" i shouted, reaching for her. "stop playing with me and give me the damn pillows, you already have like six of them."
"i need another one!" she groans, throwing the pillow back at me. "i will run to your house and grab a million more."
i studied her, "Ava lay your dumbass down, please, and thank you."
"i need to tell you something," she flopped down into the chair, rubbing her hands through her hair.
"im listening," sitting up, i pulled myself in a somewhat comfortable position. "wait, is it bad or good news?"
sadly, we got interrupted by a knock on the door, who the hell could that be? the nurses weren't coming back any time soon, a visitor maybe? but whom?
"who's that?" Ava whispered, eyeing me suspiciously. "i thought you weren't expecting any more visitors."
i shrug, "i wasn't, i have no idea who that is."
"come in," Ava shouts, and immediately the door flies open, in walked Julia. damn, what was she doing here?
"ill go grab you some breakfast," Ava says, quickly standing before excusing herself.
"Ju-Julia, what are you doing here?" i ask in confusion, watching her coldly.
"i heard," she says, standing off to the foot of my bed as she watched me. "you okay? how are you feeling?"
i shrug, "a little better, thank you for asking."
she nods, tapping my foot, "it's no problem, you know this, you doing well in school?"
"for a hospital patient, i am actually," i chuckle. "how about you? don't you graduate soon?"
she nods, "i do, yes but classes are going okay," she chuckles, shrugging. "i just want it to be all over, i loved the experience but i am tired."
"i feel you, i do, it's been highly exhausting," i drift off into my thoughts, feeling the heavyweight of mom in the back of my mind. "but you know me, managing shit."
"yes, yes i do," she nods. "just take care of yourself, alright?"
i nod, smiling just faintly, "i always try, i really do but implying the same advice, yeah?"
she nods, leaning down onto me just gently as she embraces me firmly, "yes, Miss. Lance, yes i will."
i chuckle, holding her tightly, "okay, Miss. Brown."
"take care, please," she chuckles, shoving me lightly.
"always," i wink, watching her walk off to the door. "get home safely."
she nods, not bothering to conjure up a reply as she exits the room. evidently, Ava walks back into the room as she's walking out, finally, i was hungry.
"finally," i utter, watching her closely as she approached the bed. "i am hungry."
she chuckles, flopping down into the chair beside me, "they didn't have apple sauce so i got crackers and a juice box, that's okay?"
i nod, "yes, that's totally okay, thank you."
"good good," she smiles, handing me over a pack of crackers. "we shall watch movies now, how about it?"
i shrug, "seems fitting to me, as long as it's The Office, i don't care."
"no Grey's Anatomy?" She gasps, holding her chest.
i cock my brow, watching her, "does it look like id like to watch hospital shit as im sitting here, in this uh i don't know-hospital?"
she laughs, covering her mouth, "you have a point, no Grey's Anatomy then."
•••
"yes," the nurse nods. "we'd like you to walk a little bit, just to see if you can. you can move your toes, correct? you can feel this, correct?" she says before running a pen across the back of my foot.
luckily, i wasn't ticklish.
"yes," i nod. "and im positive i can walk, i just have a lot of pain."
"i know, i know, i can tell," she steps closer to my bedside, putting her things down. "sit up for me?"
sitting up, i tried to hold myself up as best i could with my elbows, "i can try, i think this is the best i can do."
"that's fine, that's fine, i can help as best as i can," she slips a hand under me and sits it on my back. "does your back hurt or anything where my hand is?"
shaking my head, "no ma'am, no ma'am, i just hope you don't make me fall, my body is very weak," i chuckle, dragging myself out of the bed.
"i don't think id allow that to happen," she chuckles, holding me as tightly as possible. "we don't have to walk far, just to the door and back, if you can?"
i nod, "i can try that, yes."
taking my first step, i held myself up, with everything i had in me, "shit, i feel like im gonna fall, i don't like this."
the nurse chuckles, holding me as we walk, "i understand, you've been in the bed since you've been here, your body needs it."
"my legs feel like vibrators," i joke, causing her to laugh.
"well, Miss. Lance, they're gonna feel like that for a while, at least you can walk, that's the best from it."
i nod, "yes but when do i get to go home?"
"we were just talking about that actually," she eyes me. "tomorrow or later tonight maybe?"
"finally," i groan, taking a few more steps as i inched closer to the door. "fuck, i really want to sit down now."
the nurse nods, holding me tighter, "i know, come on, just a few more feet and you'll be back in bed."
inching my feet forward, taking it step by step, i held onto her tightly, "i need a nap."
she chuckles, "you're doing great, you're doing great, Alexandra."
inching closer and closer to my bed, i let one hand off of her and cling to the bed, "shit, shit, shit," i groan, pulling myself closer to the bed.
"you're literally here, take your time, don't rush it," she says, holding me up. "i know it hurts but it'll be more painful if you fall."
i chuckle, inching up my bed more, "yes, yes ma'am it would."
completing my walk, i made my way back over to the bed and nearly collapsed onto it as Ava entered the room.
"i see you're walking," she states, chuckles. placing down a bag of room, she eyes me closely. "have you eaten?"
"no," i shake my head, watching her. "did you buy me food? hm?"
"nope," she grabs the back, hogging it, causing my face to drop as i watch her. "im kidding, im kidding, of course, i bought you food, sleeping beauty."
"ugh, good because i am starving," i groan, sitting up a bit. "but uh nurse.."
"Thomas, nurse Thomas, Miss. Thomas. the nurse blurts.
i nod, "are we done, Miss. Thomas? is that all you needed for today?"
she nods, walking towards the door, "yes, just call for us if you need anything. also, i don't know for sure if you're going home later today or early morning but i will most definitely get back to you in that, okay?"
i nod, "yes ma'am, thank you."
"have a good day, Alexandra," she waves, exiting the room.
"ouuu, fancy," Ava says, shoving a French fry into her mouth.
"shut up," i laugh as i take the bag from her, grabbing a handful of fries. "im not that hungry so you can have the second burger."
she shakes her head, "or or-i can save it for you for later, you know? but didn't you just say you were starving?"
i shrug, "i am but then im not, you know?"
"yes," she nods, taking a bite of her burger. "but that's fine, ill still save you the burger, you'll eat it later. anyways, is that all you did while i was gone?"
i nod, "yes, she kind of woke me up but whatever."
she eyes me, studying me closely, "are you okay? how was the walk?"
"i can walk, which i knew but you know the constant pain makes it unbearably hard. the walk was nothing but from the bed, to the door, and back," i shrug. "it was okay, pained me but i did it."
she smiles, shoving me lightly, "that's good that's good, im very proud of you, i know it was painful but im glad you did it."
"thank you," i smile, shoving a fry into my mouth.
she shakes her head, "what was that i heard about you going home?"
"she told me, i don't know much. she told me that she hadn't had much information on it all but ive been doing better so i believe they'll be releasing me soon."
"ready to sleep in your own bed again?"
"hell yeah," i scoff. "this thin ass mattress, Ava my back has never hurt this badly, lord help me."
she covers her mouth, trying to contain her laughter, "you're stupid, i swear."
"and what are you, smart?"
she drops her jaw, processing my comment, "rude as hell too, wow."
i wink, shooting her a smile, "that's me for you."
she chuckles, shaking her head, "have you talked to Allen or your dad?"
"they both came by earlier today, about when you left," i eye her. "they stayed for hours, we talked, made conversation, Rachel even stopped by."
she lifts her brow, "really?"
i nod, "yes, she had to get back to work but she made sure to stop by and make sure i was alright of course."
"good good," she pushes her food aside, crossing her leg over the other as she sits back. "can i ask you something?"
i lift my brow, eyeing her, "why is that a question?"
"privacy," she cocks her head my way, eyeing me. "but no really, may i?"
i nod, "you can ask me anything, Ava, ask."
"what happened?"
"i-" i scrunch my brows, sitting up. "i beg your pardon? what-what do you mean? what happened with who?"
she paused, taking a breath before continuing, "you and Miss. Adam's."
i sigh, looking the other way, "i don't know Ava, i really don't. i thought everything was going good and i..i," i sigh once more, pulling my attention back to her. "i don't know Ava, maybe i do love her, maybe."
"it's almost no doubt that you do, i can tell by how you act around her and how you look at her. how you're always trying to be around her, no matter what chance you get, i can see it, Alexandra."
i nod, "okay but what exactly are you saying, Ava?"
she sighs, chuckling softly, "im saying though she's hurting you, i can see that you love her. i know you do, i just know it. give it time? give it time and maybe she'll come around and we'll see-you'll see."
i nod, taking in her words, "okay, Ava."