it's been about a week since dad and i have been out of the hospital. he checked out before me and since then, he's been on my ass. i could barely get a word in about him, not one.
it's now winter break and Christmas was literally 3 days away. was i excited? kinda. i had been wrapping presents since yesterday, wasn't as tiring as i pictured it to be.
i stopped now and then, glancing at the wrapping paper, it was mom's favorite.
she always did her little bows, i tried but mine could never compare to hers. ever.
she always did it with such perfection and that always did make Christmas more special. it wasn't about the gifts, at least to me, it was about the love in the air. family.
i sighed softly as i took a quick scan over my bedroom, tossing that covers off of me. i dragged myself out of bed and off down the steps, noticing the bright lights from the living room.
turning the corner, i walked off into the living area and found my dad and Allen, finishing up the Christmas tree. cute.
"having fun?" i asked, leaning over the couch, watching them closely. "it looks amazing."
"you should be resting," dad says, pointing his finger at me.
"dad im okay, i promise," i frown, embracing him firmly. "please stop worrying about me, i promise im okay."
"ill never stop worrying about you, ever but for now, for now," he eyes me.
"that's good but dad," i glance at him. "im okay, im fine."
suddenly my dad's phone went off, ringing from inside his pocket. work, i bet.
"i have to take this, excuse me," he plants a kiss on my cheek in which i smile.
"work?" Allen questions.
"you know it," i chuckle. "he'd never stop, even if he physically had to. he'd still find ways to go."
"he needs to relax," he sighs, flopping down onto the couch. "he literally just got out of the hospital."
"dad never stops, he always keeps going, no matter what."
"you get it from him, i can tell," he eyes me.
"well yeah but," i peek over my shoulder at my dad, standing over by the front door. "i watched mom die, i cannot watch him kill himself. i won't go for it, Allen."
"i know, i know
i sigh, running my fingers through my hair, "where's Ava? have you seen her? she wasn't in the room when i woke up."
"uh no but last time i checked, dad said she was at her uncles."
"which? or he didn't say?"
"someone with the last name green," he shrugs. "that's all i was told."
i nod, standing, "bet, thank you."
"wait where are yo-"
"ill be back."
"but you just got out of the hospital! Alex!"
"ill be fine," i assure him before heading out of the door.
•••
"Christmas dinner?" Ava eyed me with her brow cocked. "would it be at your house or someone else's?"
"that'll be up to my dad," i shrug, pulling the keys from the engine. "im sure he's home, if he didn't go in for work, we can ask."
"shouldn't he be resting?"
"of course but you know he's not gonna do that," i shrug. "Allen!"
"yes?!" i heard from the other side of the house.
"is dad here?!" i shout back, waiting for an answer.
"yes i am," my dad appears from around the corner. "hi baby, hello Ava."
she smiles, waving.
"good, you're home. i called you to ask, are we having the Christmas dinner here or at aunt Rachel's?"
"more than likely at her place but they might come here, it just depends. but we have it planned at her place."
i nod, "okay, Ava and i will be upstairs if you need anything."
"im just heading in for work, John called and stop by and grab some more paperwork."
i raise my brow, "can't he do it? why can't he do it? doesn't he know you've just gotten out of the hospital?"
"he not by the office, baby girl do-"
"no dad, you've just gotten out of the hospital, please rest."
"when i get back, i promise," he embraces me, rubbing my back. "i love you, alright?"
"i love you so much more, dad," i sigh softly. "just be careful and be safe."
"you know i will," he assures me. "it's 3 o'clock now, ill be back before 8, okay?"
i nod, watching him head out of the door.
i felt guilty watching him walk out of the door, knowing he was sometimes so reckless with himself, hurt. maybe that's where i got my ways in high school, maybe.
i just wish he'd relax, i prayed.
"you okay?" Ava asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
"im just thinking, im okay," i sigh, rubbing my fingers through my hair, glancing at her. "i wish he'd just relax and take it easy most days, he just got out."
"and who does that remind you of?"
"me, i know i know," i sigh once more.
"look," she pulls me into her arms, holding me closely. "i know you both are tired and you're trying your hardest but remember when i told you, everyone's copes in their own ways?"
i cock my brow, eyeing her, "you told me that?"
"foggy," she chuckles. "but no really, we do, we all do. and some take it a lot harder than others but believe me, in his mind, he's taking it easy."
"well yeah i know that but i don't wanna see him hospitalized again."
"i know you don't, trust me but right now, all you both can do is be there for one another and take it one day at a time. as you both have been doing so well these past five years."
"thank you, Ava," i smile.
"remember what i told you, thanksgiving, never thank me for things you know id do a million times again for you."
"i have to thank you and i will, so hush it and let me."
before she had the chance to respond, the doorbell rang. Alyssa, i bet.
"i bet that's Alyssa," i chuckle. "ill be right back, hold on."
i bolted from my bedroom and down the steps, sliding over to the door. yanking it open, i came face to face with Alyssa. i told you.
"hello beautiful," i whisper, winking at her.
"shut up and let me in," she demanded.
"with that attitude, i can leave you outside," i say, stepping aside.
she eyes me with her brow lifted, "you seem cheerful, very cheerful. how are you feeling?"
"well i am looking at a beauty," i smile. "but in all seriousness im fine, im feeling much better."
"good good, that's good news to hear."
"that's not why you're here, why are you here, Alyssa?"
"well i came by to give some forms to your father but seems like he's not here," she shrugs. "so instead of turning back or waiting in the car, i decided to come in and see how you were doing."
"that's so nice of you, you were always nice."
"remember what i told you?" she points.
"you've told me a lot, which piece of information, Alyssa? hm?"
"you'll have hel-"
"hell at your heels, fucking with me," i finish her statement. "ah, that one."
she points her finger, "yes, that one."
"are you going back home?"
she nods, "i planned to, yes."
"nowhere else?"
"no, why? are you asking me to take you somewhere Miss Lance?"
"you say my name so professional," i smirk, eyeing her closely. "and no but if you want to, take me to the park?"
"want to? why should i?"
"i asked nicely."
"well even so, what would i be taking you to the park for?"
"it's peace, i mean if you don't want to, you can take me back to your place, wink wink."
"you're so corny," she giggles softly, shoving me. "let's go, bring your ass."
"where are we going?"
"uh, i thought you wanted to go to the park?"
"your place seems more fitting, we can play board games," i smile.
"we can play board games at the park," she eyes me.
"the park does not have board games just lying around, Alyssa."
"of course not, we can just go buy one and play it at the park."
"that's a waste of money when there's a free one at your place."
she groaned, taking in the fact that i was right. ha.
"you're lucky i like you," she shoves me.
"i mean i am likable," i smirk, relaxing back as i studied her.
"be quiet, just go sit down so i can find these board games," she says while shoving me into her apartment. damn, aggressive much? luckily i love my women aggressive.
"yes ma'am," i flop down onto the couch.
"monopoly or charades?" she yells from the back.
"both! why not?!"
"you're so damn difficult Alex," she groans.
"that i am, come on, you're moving slow!"
"shut up before i send you home," she walks back over towards me, eying me.
"you'd make me walk?" i gasp.
"i would, yes," she winks at me, flopping down next to me. "let the games begin."