"i have four more, not including the one on my collarbone," i gave her direct eye contact. i felt so warm inside, maybe i was staring to like Alyssa, shit.
what the fuck was i doing?
"why are you so guarded ?"
"because ever since my mom passed, my dad and i haven't been the same. yeah we have our good days and our bad ones but when my mom passed, it was like she just took our hearts to her stone and i just can't.."
"i understand, i do," she spoke in a whisper.
i nod, "of course, anymore questions, Alyssa ?"
"no, i don't think so."
"think? girl how many questions do you even have to ask me? are you not bored by me?"
"i don't know," she shrugs. "and no, i told you, im highly interested in you, Alex."
"is it because of my father? what has that man told you about me?"
"no," she laughs. "he hasn't told me anything..well other than that he loves you a lot and he wants nothing but the best for you," her hand glides over mine and i swear i felt a spark fly through us.
"i know," i nod.
the silence fell upon us and i hadn't realized we were staring. it was like this spark in her eyes and it drew me closer but i was stopping myself.
i wasn't stopping myself because the whole teacher shit, i was stopping it because i knew this would end the same way and i honestly had enough bullshit in my life.
"you really resemble your father," gosh, Alyssa.
i groaned in slight annoyance, "Alyssa go home."
"im just saying, you do," she laughs softly as she shrugs.
"you've told me," i groan once more as i shove her. "its getting late, go home."
"sure but tell your dad i stopped by and if he can, call me later?"
"yes, i will," i waved her off as i slowly shut the door behind her. whew, i was exhausted as fuck. i swiftly made my way over to the window as i watched her. "idiot," i mumbled to myself as i shook my head.
i pulled myself away from the window and quickly made my way up stairs, going off into my bedroom. Ava was sound asleep which was good because i was exhausted.
i crawled into bed next to her and went off to sleep.
•••
"ugh, can we just skip today, its a crappy Wednesday," Ava groaned as she turned over in bed.
"no," i say as i yank the covers off of her. "also, i think im staring to like Alyssa."
she bolted out of bed as her eyes widened, "you do?! fucking finally."
"im kidding," i chuckle. "it got you up didn't it? ah, now go take a shower and meet me downstairs."
"whatever, Alex."
i chuckled lightly as i made my way downstairs. i honestly couldn't help but think about the conversation Alyssa and i had last night, i don't know why exactly but it was there and it was just eh.
why did she find me so interesting? why was i even a thought on her mind? did she actually like me? was that why she moved out?
no. no, it couldn't have been.
was i actually staring to like her? fuck, maybe.
i can't believe i was standing here thinking about Alyssa that way, lord help me.
i sighed to myself as i shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts away as i took small sips from my water bottle.
"ready?" i heard suddenly which caused me to jump. "what are you jumping for? are you okay?"
"yeah," i eye her. "and yes, im fine, i was just thinking."
"about?" she lifted her brow.
should i tell her? kneeling Ava, she'd drag it. eh, here goes nothing.
"Alyssa.." i say lowly with a slow shrug.
"starting to like her? hm? hm?" she began wiggling her eyebrows as her lips formed into a smirk. bitch get on my nerves, i swear.
"i don't know, its weird. maybe so maybe not, again, i don't know."
"well, would you tell her?"
"like that'll go any ways well," i chuckle. "anyways, come on, we're going to be late."
"you'll never know if you don't just ask and or tell," she shrugs.
idiot, i swear.
•••
"uno!" Ava yells as she slams her card onto the table. "flip this shit to red and im wiping your ass out, Eli let's go!"
i couldn't help but laugh as i sat in the corner of the dorm room and watch Eli and Ava play uno. it was the most aggressive game of uno you'd ever see.
i questioned as i tried to contain my laughter,
"remind me again why im here with you idiots?"
"because you love us," Ava says with a smile. "uno out! thank you!"
"no!" Eli shouted loudly. "let's play again, you're always cheating."
"fair game is fair game," Ava says with a shrug. "but go on, shuffle them."
i shook my head in pure disbelief, "im gonna head to the local bathroom, ill be back."
i made my way out of the dorm room and walked off down the halls to the near by bathroom, which wasn't far at all. thank god.
i quick used the bathroom and washed my hands. as i watched myself in the mirror, the bathroom door flew open and in walked Alyssa.
"Alyssa," i spoke softly as i eyed her.
"Alex, you're never here," she mentions. "what are you doing here? especially this late?"
"i know," i nod. "but i was just hanging with Ava and Eli, we were playing uno and that shit was intense."
she chuckles, "ah, that's why the room was loud. sounded like you all were fighting or something at first."
"no."
once more, the silence fell upon us and i could honestly hear my heart racing inside of my chest. i didn't know how i was on the outside but inside i felt like i was dying. my palms were beginning to grow sweaty and i was blinking by the second.
Alyssa wasn't making things better as she kept staring me down like i was a piece of meat. the fuck was going on with me? I've never felt this way, shit.
"you okay? you look like you're about to pass out," well fuck, thanks for telling me how i appear on the outside.
"i..yeah, im fine," i shake my head as i pull my attention around. fuck, what was i going to say? maybe we can just walk out and forget it? fuck, why was i listening to Ava advice right now. "uh, Alyssa ?"
"yes?" she lifts her brows as she eyes me.
dammit, what do i say?
"are you seeing someone?" not my question but shit, it'll have to do.
she frowned her brows in slight confusion as she looked anywhere but my eyes. "yes."
she's lying but why? damn all these questions and no fucking answers but challenge? accepted.
i gave her a nod as i walked out of the bathroom and back off to the room. well shit, that went well.
"damn what took you so long? we've played 2 whole games since you've been gone," Ava says suddenly.
"oh fuck off," i popped her on the head as i flipped down on the beanbag in the corner. "be happy im back, bitch."