I spent the next few days researching more about Gollum and Sméagol, learning his full story, and getting to know more about him. I found myself watching clips on YouTube from the movies just so I could look at him and hear his voice. It brought me great comfort, and helped to ease the heartache I was still feeling. I downloaded audio clips of him, so I could listen to his voice when I needed comfort. I also printed out a few pictures of him to carry in my purse.
Okay, before I go on, I know just how weird and crazy this all sounds, but this is another Autistic trait of mine. I am a grown woman with a lot of childlike tendencies and traits. I do understand the difference between reality and fantasy, but at the same time, when it comes to my favorite shows and movies, I connect with some of the characters on a personal level. Very rarely, however, I connect with them on a much deeper level to the point where they're almost real to me. I know they're fictional, but they're not to me, in my mind. The last character I had that deep connection with was Ojo from Bear in the Big Blue House when I was a little girl, and Ojo stayed with me all through my teen years. To this day, I still have the Ojo plushy my grandparents gave me as a child, and I still snuggle with her every night and tell her all my secrets. What made me so attached to Ojo? Well, her voice was what first got my attention. It was a very comforting sound to my ears, and always brought a smile to my face. I also loved her sweet, playful, cheerful personality, and she had a very active imagination just like I do. She was very creative and artistic, and that also drew me in. Not to mention, she is insanely adorable! Well, I was experiencing something similar with Sméagol. I could relate to his character. His voice was very comforting to listen to. He was adorable, playful, and in my eyes, had a very sweet, loving heart, despite what the ring did to him. Most people would laugh at me, call me a nutjob, and tell me I need therapy, which is why I would only tell people I trust, people I know understand me, like Abby and Hayley. I would've told Logan, but, well, he wasn't around anymore.