TONI POV:
I look at Cheryl as we lie in bed facing each other across the bed . "Why do you wear that?" She ask motioning to my ear. "This?" I ask grabbing my hearing aid. She nods. "I have partial hearing loss. Without this everything sounds really quiet." I tell her. "Is that what that thing you give the teachers is for?" She ask quietly. I smile putting my hearing aid back in. "Yeah." I smile. "Should I wear that when we hang out?" She ask quietly. "No you're good." I say smiling. "We're close enough together I can hear you." I tell her. "I probably should have told you earlier in our relationship, we've been in school together since kindergarten so I just kinda assumed you figured it out." I say awkwardly. "Kinda, You also wear your hair down a lot so I never really noticed or cared." I nod. "How long have you had that?" She ask quietly. "This one specifically?" I ask her. "No! I mean in general. How long have you had hearing issues?" She ask quietly. "Forever, I use to complain about a loud ringing in my ears, I would have meltdowns because of how bad it was. I also could barely hear in this ear. My dad brought me to a specialist when I was 3 and ran some test." I explain. "Do you still have that ringing?" She ask quietly. "Not really that came and go, sometimes it comes back." I tell her. "It's like this ear stops working and starts ringing." I tell her. "That can't be fun." I shake my head. "Is that why you say what a lot?" She ask quietly. I nod. "You sure you don't need me to talk louder or something?" She ask quietly. "No! The best thing about you is you don't." She nods. "I'm sorry." She says quietly. "What?" I ask confused. "I feel bad that I never noticed. I feel like that's something you notice especially if it's your girlfriend." She says quietly. "Cheryl, we've been together for 2 weeks." I tell her. I look at her. "It's ok." I tell her. "I feel bad." She whispers. "Don't." I whisper. She kisses me. "I really like you." She whispers. "I don't want to mess this up." I nod. "You won't." I say quietly. "You sure?" She ask quietly. "Not if I mess this up first." I joke. She smiles. "I know..." I sit up. "This- this is kinda early but I also really like you and I would like to be with you for a long time. I just need to know, so I can sleep at night." I say awkwardly. She sits up. "Sex?" I ask extremely awkwardly. "Is a thing." She says quietly. "I haven't." She tells me. "Same." I tell her. "I do have to say tell you something though." She says quietly. I nod. "Um... last- last year I- I was at an event. And um... I was drugged and um... and almost raped." She tells me. I look at her. I take her hands. "I'm sorry you had to go through that Cher." I whisper. "I've pretty much gotten over it! I haven't had sex and I just want to tell you that if we do, I don't know what's going to happen." She explains. I nod. "I get it." I tell her. "I've never had to go through any of this but I know that it's very hard for woman to get over something like that. And I know that a lot of men who go through similar things have been invalidated." I tell her. "And I know woman also have the same problem and honestly that makes me sick to my stomach even thinking about." I explain. She looks at me confused. "What I am trying to say is that I believe you, I feel sorry for you and if and when you are ready we can and I will go as fast or as slow as you need. I want you to feel comfortable." I ramble. "I always believe the victim. I hate seeing people not be believed like that." I tell her. "Why?" She ask quietly. "Before my parents got divorced, my mother abused my dad and no one believed him. To the point where I almost had to live with my mom. Because when people get divorced and there's a kid involved they always take the mother's side." I tell her. "I'm sorry." She whispers. "I don't really want to talk about it." I say quietly. She nods. There's a knock on my door and Cheryl and I both sit up as fast as possible. My dad comes in. "Dinner is ready." He says awkwardly. "Hi Cheryl." He smiles. "Hello." Cheryl says awkwardly. "Dinner is read if you guys are ready." I nod. "We'll be down in a minute." I tell him. He nods and walks out.
I sit down in class. I immediately just put my head down and try not to cry. I feel someone's hand on my back. I look up and see Cheryl. "What's wrong?" She ask concerned. "Everything is to loud right now and I can't do anything about it." I whisper. She nods. "We have a sub, how about we go somewhere quieter?" She ask quietly. I nod. We both quickly get up and walk out of class before the sub notices. We go to the Blue and Gold. "Can we stay here for a bit?" Cheryl ask a girl in here. "Yeah of course." She says quietly. "Toni this is Betty. She's Jughead's girlfriend."Cheryl says quietly. I nod. "Hi." I say awkwardly. "Hi." Betty says quietly. "Sit." Cheryl says motioning to the couch. I sit down and take my hearing aid out. I lie down and mope for a bit. I don't know what Cheryl and Betty were doing. I was to lost in my own thoughts. I can't really breathe right now. I'm just trying to calm down. I sit up and try to catch my breath.
I look at Betty who's working on her computer. "I'm Toni." I say awkwardly. "I know." She says quietly. "I'm sorry that me having an anxiety attack was the first thing you see when you met me." I tell her. "It's ok." She says quietly. "I have really bad anxiety and I have some sensory issues. I got overwhelmed." She nods. "It's ok." She smiles. "Do you need me to be quieter or something?" She ask quietly. "No! You're good." She nods. "Where did Cheryl go?" I ask her. "Class." I nod. "I have Study and the teacher never does attendance." I tell her. She nods. "Cheryl told me." I smile. We sit in an awkward silence for a bit until Cheryl comes in. "Oh thank god." I whisper. "Ready?" Cheryl ask quietly. I get up and go to the door.
I look at Cheryl as we sit in bed sitting across from each other. "We've been together for a bit, why didn't you tell me you had such bad anxiety?" She ask quietly. "I thought it gotten better." She nods. "Obviously not." I whisper. "I'm sorry." I look at her. "Don't be." She whispers. I look at her. "I usually just go to the nurse. For future reference." She nods. "I'll remember that next time." She says quietly. "I used to be medicated for it, but I had really bad Vertigo on it. Which is bad enough since my ears are all fucked up." I tell her. "That must have been scary." I nod. "Yeah." I whisper. "Still is." I tell her. "That's why you are so slow to walk down stairs!" She says quietly. I smile. "Yeah. Also why I don't drive." I tell her. She nods. "Makes sense." I nod. I look at her. "How do you get up in the morning?" She ask quietly. I go to my pillow and show her a vibrating alarm clock. "It works when it wants to." I tell her. "My dad comes in to make sure I get up though. I have a habit of ignoring it or rolling over to the other pillows." I say quietly. She looks at me. "Are you out to your dad?" She ask out of nowhere. "Kinda." I say awkwardly. "I didn't have to come out to him. He's supportive no matter what." She smiles. "That must be nice." I nod. I look at her. "You never got that." She shakes her head. "I'm sorry." I whisper. "It's ok. My mom and I don't talk and my father is dead so I can't fight for his approval." She tells me. I look at her in shock. "Oh!" I say confused. "I'm sorry. There's better ways of telling you how tragic my life is." She says quietly. "It's ok." I tell her. "Who do you live with then?" I ask her. "My grandmother." I nod. "That's good." I say quietly. "Yeah! She's slowly losing her mind, I'm just hoping no one picks up on it until after I turn 18." She says quietly. I smile. I look at her. "I'm sorry but I'm really hungry." I whisper. "I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday." I tell her. "Why didn't you eat anything?" She ask concerned. "If no one reminds me I- I forget to eat." I explain. I look at her. "You forget to shower sometimes don't you?" I nod. "When was the last time you did that?" She ask quietly. "I don't- I don't know." I whisper. "Do you want to do that then go get something to eat?" She ask. "Can we eat first?" She nods.
I look at Cheryl as she eats. "Do I need to remind you to eat everyday?" She ask quietly. I look at her. "I don't know." I say quietly. "I will, if I have to bring you here and force you to eat, I will." I look at her. "I'll get really sick of burgers or pancakes after a while." I tell her honestly. "Let's try everything on the menu then." She says smiling. She looks at me. "I don't hate that." I tell her.