june 1984
"why are these bitches so mad for??" i laughed at the tabloids that was on my coffee table. randy and jackie laughed also.
randy laughed a little harder as he said "because you look hot as fuck on your album cover"
the tabloids are talking trash about me. saying i'm using my sex appeal to get people to listen to me. if i was... why can't i? what is so wrong in that? nothing. i am not going to be one of those women who don't talk about sex. that's why i've wrote songs about it. i love sex. don't get me wrong, i haven't had sex in a while. me and michael still haven't....
i know.. i know what that sounds like. but after being raped... i'm just... scared? michael would never hurt me like that. but i didn't want to give myself to him after being violated by another two guys WHILE i was in a relationship with michael.
michael and i still haven't spoken. it's been about two weeks. the media still believe me and him are together. they're also saying i've cheated on michael with ralph. or that i've just cheated on michael in general JUST BECAUSE of my racy album cover.
"yeah you do look good" jackie agreed making me grin "i always do."
"mike is a lucky man" jackie smiled softly.. i sighed rolling my eyes "don't... jackie... don't" i shook my head making jackie furrow his brows "michael loves you, V. he needs you.. he's really missing you." jackie pouted trying to lighten the mood.
"mother said he just goes to the dance studio, you know the one at hayvenhurst, then he'll come back in the house and go to his room. he's been a right love sick puppy who's had his heartbroken"
"i think it's just maybe best for us both..." i shrugged but was cut off by jackie "best for you... do you mean? he's absolutely heartbroken, V. heartbroken. he thinks the world of you, always has and always will. you mean fucking everything to him. i've never seen him like this before, he's so in love... you've been with him over a year- that alone should tell you that he's serious about you, that he loves you with everything he has in him"
i stayed silent. i gulped down my guilt.
"him and jermaine fought.. you know?" jackie asked me, i looked up immediately and my eyes connected with his "really?" my voice cracked and he nodded. i looked to Randy, my best friend, for confirmation. he nodded also. i looked back at jackie waiting for him to explain. "that night when jermaine hit you, we all went back to hayvenhurst to calm jermaine down. randy and i was really mad, all of us were, at jermaine for laying a finger on you. you're our friend. we've known you since you've been a little baba.." he smiled softly making my eyes water as i weakly smiled back "we all went off at jermaine in the house, janet lunged for him. joseph stopped her though. joseph wasn't happy, obviously, neither was mother. they were so disappointed that he'd lay a finger on you like that and accuse you of cheating on michael." jackie said as he sat down at the table, in the dance studio, opposite me.
"joseph stuck up for me?" my heart clenched as i asked softly. randy butted in "yes.. of course! of course he did, veah. he was really angry.. wasn't he jackie?" randy turned to his older brother, who agreed with randy.
i nodded softly. "he was so angry, he was like 'boy what have i told you, don't ever hit women, you had no right laying your hands on her, and you had NO RIGHT to accuse her of cheating on your brother. she's been with him a long time, you've known her since a baby, don't ever disrespect her or any other woman ever again or you'll be sorry, boy' and at that point.. michael came down..." randy took a breathe and carried on explaining. i was so shocked over how joseph stuck up for me
"michael came down.. asked what was going on, asked who jermaine had accused of cheating on one of the brothers and who he had hit." randy trialed off.
jackie then spoke up "we didn't know what to do or say... we just all looked at him with such regret.. we felt bad. we had no reason to.. we just didn't really know how to tell him. janet, of course, was like 'your prick of a brother hit Nevi, michael. he HIT her!' so michael looked back at jermaine and kind of laughed and was like 'don't be silly, he has no reason to hit her... why would he do that... don't be silly.' everyone stayed dead silent." jackie explained and i was listening carefully.
"anyway, michael knew by every single one of us and our silence that what janet said was true. michael lunged for him and brought jermaine to the ground. he kneed jermaine in the rips and punched him in the face before we all dragged them apart. we would of done it sooner, we went to pull them apart sooner, joseph stopped us though." jackie shrugged as he bent forward grabbing a slice of pizza
"he let michael hit his own brother ?!" i gasped shocked at what joseph did. randy and jackie nodded "yeah." randy said as jackie said "yeah he did."
"mother was like 'joseph you can't let them fight!' and joseph was like 'jermaine deserves it Katie. he can't go around hitting people's girlfriends , nevermind his own BROTHER'S girlfriend.. a girl who we've known since birth, then expect michael to be somewhat okay with that? he deserves this from michael.' at that point, after joseph explained, i was like 'no.. this isn't right it's gone on for too long' so we all pulled them apart. michael was so angry.. really angry. he hasn't spoken to jermaine since." jackie said
"fuck." i gasped.
"is jermaine okay??" i asked softly, i still care about him. he's kind of like a brother, we never really got on much, but then again.. what 'sibling' ever does?
"girl?!" randy laughed making a face "why would you ask that? he hit you and then accused you of cheating on mike. he deserved the beating he got off of mike... i tell ya," randy trailed off wrapping a arm around my shoulder as he was sat right next to me "i didn't know mike had that in him, i've never seen him so angry. he's willing to break everything he's ever known for you, V... when are you gonna give him a piece of that fine ass?!"
"RANDY?!" jackie gasped while randy and i was laughing out arses off together, just like we do, just like best friends do.
"what?!" randy said through laughter.
"don't say that about your best friend-wait?? you-" jackie spoke up looking at me, my laughter died down as i waited for him to carry on talking.
"you and michael haven't??... you know?"
"spit it out... god" randy laughed making me laugh "she ain't no virgin... michael might be but veah isn't. she loves sex. i was just winding her up, she isn't making him wait or anything... it's more like the other way round" randy kind of laughed as he grabbed his pepsi can and drank a bit.
"..i'm just surprised?? you've been together over a year or something! i thought you might of." jackie said, really surprised.
i shrugged "michael said he wants it to be special... i get that, it's his first time.. and he's also a virgin, i want to make it special for him..." i trail off. i obviously didn't mention how, now, i don't really want to be intimate.. it's nothing to do with michael at all. it's to do with me. the trauma i went through being raped and assaulted.
will i ever tell him??
could i break his heart like that??
the answer was no. no to both of those questions.
"he's still a virgin at his age?" jackie made a face "and he's never been at it with anyone before you?
i shrugged "why would he lie and tell me he's a virgin.."
jackie's jaw dropped "shit?" he then laughed "to be fair.. i didn't expect any less. i think everyone knows he's not much of a sexual person. has he ever.. touched you?"
"has he ever fingered me? licked me out? yes. yes he has." i stated, without a care in the world. he has. and it was truly magical.
jackie cleared his throat and laughed softly at my forwardness. "have-"
"yes." i answered straight away knowing what he was going to say "i've given him blowjobs and handjobs..." i nod again
"i shouldn't of really told you.. if you don't know then it's because he wanted it to be private. but trust me... he isn't no like- well... he isn't frigid? he does have sexual desires. he's just not upfront about them as much." i shrugged grabbing a slice of pizza and munching on it
"that's probably because he's a virgin though, he probably isn't comfortable expressing his sexual desires because he hasn't gone all the way... he might feel a little awkward about it." randy shrugged
"i think michael wants to wait until marriage and that's okay bu-" i got cut off by randy. ok. he really needs to stop doing that...
"he's told me he wants to fuck you so bad, he's just a little scared.. nervous." randy sipped on his pepsi again.
"randy?! ew gross i don't wanna imagine that." jackie made known making me giggle. "ok he never EXACTLY said it like that! he was more... gentleman-like? more loveable about it. he was like 'of course i want to make love to her... her mind fascinates me. i'm so attracted to her in every way possible. i'm just a little nervous and scared about it... i don't know what i'm doing.. she's not a virgin, she's had sexual experiences. i want to please her... i don't know what i'm doing. i don't want to disappoint her, i want to make her feel good.'"
my heart melted. how adorable is my boyfriend??
well... ex-boyfriend. but you get me.
"did he ask you for advice?" jackie asked randy. randy nodded his head "i told him to just go with what feels right... i did say that veah loves sex.. i said she'll probably take the lead so he doesn't have to worry about doing anything wrong. i also said how she isn't judgmental and she won't judge him for maybe doing something wrong." randy shrugged.
jackie nodded and continued to eat.
"so... you don't have to answer this, it's none of my business, like at all. so if you don't feel comfortable talking about it tell me to shut the fuck up..." jackie said sitting up a little and clearing his throat, i nodded at his offer. "who did you lose your virginity to if it wasn't to my baby brother. and does he know who you lot it to?"
i laughed softly "i lost it to my boyfriend, well my boyfriend at the time, when i was 15.. you know Damien, right?" i nodded at jackie "oh that prick? yeah i know him."
Damien was hated by my family and the jacksons. he cheated on me numerous times, emotionally, verbally and mentally abused me.. even physically abused me at certain points. up until i was 16. i got with damien when i was 14.
"that reminds me.. have you not heard anything from that prick?" jackie asked
"who?" i frowned "michael?" i asked making jackie and randy laugh "no not that prick.. the other one, Damien??"
"he got in touch with me when the media found out i was in the Karate Kid. he congratulated me on my role. asked for me back... i ended the call after i told him i was with michael and happy."
jackie nodded and we all fell silent.
"is michael ok?" i asked softly. they both went silent and looked at each other.
jackie was looking behind me which caused randy to turn his head and look behind us to.
my eyes was still trained on jackie when he nodded behind me and said softly "why don't you ask him for yourself?"
i gulped so loudly i swear michael could hear it.
i turned around and saw michael stood there in a black jacket, his black slacks, a red top and a pair of aviators.
i could feel that our eyes had connected, even through his shades. he removed them and our eyes was trained on each other.
"hi..." i cleared my throat.
he smiled back "hey... can we talk? or are you busy??" he asked softly
i shook my head quickly "no.. no. i'm not busy."
"cheers for that." jackie scoffed making randy snicker at his older brothers sarcastic remark. jackie and randy got up from their seats, squeezed my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. they walked away, towards the door michael had just come through, and dapped michael up making michael laugh at his brothers softly.
the door slammed shut behind randy and jackie.
our eyes connected one last time before he spoke.
"your cheek is still slightly bruised..." michael said, softly, with pain in his eyes. i laughed gently and looked down at my trainers "your brother has power in the back of his hand.. i'll tell ya that for nothing."
"don't joke about those things." he scolded me softly as he made his way towards me. he caressed my face and i sighed feeling his touch. the same touch i've been longing for for two weeks now.
"you're still so beautiful" he whispered in amazement. i chuckled under my breath "even with a bruised cheek?"
he nodded "even with a bruised cheek" he confirmed.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry i wasn't there. i'm sorry he hit you and accused you of cheating..." michael spoke softly.
i shook my head "don't apologise for him. everyone always does that. don't do it no more. he doesn't deserve it. he's a twat." i told michael making him sigh.
"i know.. i know. i'm still sorry. for everything." he looked at me with sad eyes.
"you have nothing to be sorry about... i'm sorry. i'm sorry for hurting you." he rubbed his chest stepping closer to me.
"you could hurt me ten times over and i'll still be completely in love with you."
"that's unhealthy." i made a face at him.
"me loving you with everything i have in me, whether you hurt me or not, is not unhealthy... it's me being all for you and only for you. you mean the world to me. literally, the world to me. i'd drop everything just to be with you, to love you, to give you all of me. do you know that?" he asked me softly.
i smiled, nodding softly "i know that."
he smiled back at me.
"marry me, Veah." he said with such love... such passion.
"what?!" i said after a few minutes, after my initial shock wore off
"marry me, Neveah Olivia-Ivy Kingsley." he smiled grabbing my hand and holding them tightly as he bit his lip "i know this isn't exactly the most romantic setting in the world... i didn't make it perfect. and i'm sorry. this isn't how women want or dream to be asked to dedicate their life to someone..i'll make up for it later, i promise that. but i couldn't wait any damn longer. please, make me the happiest man alive and marry me."
silence.
"be my Mrs Jackson." he grinned softly.
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OH MY GOOODDDDD!!!!! HE'S ASKED VEAH TO MARRY HIM!!!! what do you think is going to happen??? will she say yes??? will she turn him down???