chapter nine: marry me

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june 1984

"why are these bitches so mad for??" i laughed at the tabloids that was on my coffee table. randy and jackie laughed also.
randy laughed a little harder as he said "because you look hot as fuck on your album cover"
the tabloids are talking trash about me. saying i'm using my sex appeal to get people to listen to me. if i was... why can't i? what is so wrong in that? nothing. i am not going to be one of those women who don't talk about sex. that's why i've wrote songs about it. i love sex. don't get me wrong, i haven't had sex in a while. me and michael still haven't....

i know.. i know what that sounds like. but after being raped... i'm just... scared? michael would never hurt me like that. but i didn't want to give myself to him after being violated by another two guys WHILE i was in a relationship with michael.
michael and i still haven't spoken. it's been about two weeks. the media still believe me and him are together. they're also saying i've cheated on michael with ralph. or that i've just cheated on michael in general JUST BECAUSE of my racy album cover.

 or that i've just cheated on michael in general JUST BECAUSE of my racy album cover

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"yeah you do look good" jackie agreed making me grin "i always do."
"mike is a lucky man" jackie smiled softly.. i sighed rolling my eyes "don't... jackie... don't" i shook my head making jackie furrow his brows "michael loves you, V. he needs you.. he's really missing you." jackie pouted trying to lighten the mood.
"mother said he just goes to the dance studio, you know the one at hayvenhurst, then he'll come back in the house and go to his room. he's been a right love sick puppy who's had his heartbroken"

"i think it's just maybe best for us both..." i shrugged but was cut off by jackie "best for you... do you mean? he's absolutely heartbroken, V. heartbroken. he thinks the world of you, always has and always will. you mean fucking everything to him. i've never seen him like this before, he's so in love... you've been with him over a year- that alone should tell you that he's serious about you, that he loves you with everything he has in him"

i stayed silent. i gulped down my guilt.
"him and jermaine fought.. you know?" jackie asked me, i looked up immediately and my eyes connected with his "really?" my voice cracked and he nodded. i looked to Randy, my best friend, for confirmation. he nodded also. i looked back at jackie waiting for him to explain. "that night when jermaine hit you, we all went back to hayvenhurst to calm jermaine down. randy and i was really mad, all of us were, at jermaine for laying a finger on you. you're our friend. we've known you since you've been a little baba.." he smiled softly making my eyes water as i weakly smiled back "we all went off at jermaine in the house, janet lunged for him. joseph stopped her though. joseph wasn't happy, obviously, neither was mother. they were so disappointed that he'd lay a finger on you like that and accuse you of cheating on michael." jackie said as he sat down at the table, in the dance studio, opposite me.

"joseph stuck up for me?" my heart clenched as i asked softly. randy butted in "yes.. of course! of course he did, veah. he was really angry.. wasn't he jackie?" randy turned to his older brother, who agreed with randy.
i nodded softly. "he was so angry, he was like 'boy what have i told you, don't ever hit women, you had no right laying your hands on her, and you had NO RIGHT to accuse her of cheating on your brother. she's been with him a long time, you've known her since a baby, don't ever disrespect her or any other woman ever again or you'll be sorry, boy' and at that point.. michael came down..." randy took a breathe and carried on explaining. i was so shocked over how joseph stuck up for me

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