Ethan got in bed after putting on his briefs and pulled her close to him. "That was..." Ethan interrupted. "Mind-blowing. Amazing. Best you ever had." Anna giggled at him before kissing his cheek. "All of the above and then some. Aggressive is another word that comes to mind, but I liked it." She smiled at him shyly. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled. "You make me happy." Anna couldn't help but respond with a wide smile. "Ditto, kid." They snuggled into one another and drifted off to a restful sleep. Ethan didn't listen to the negative voices that told him he wasn't good enough for her and Anna took solace in the truth he told her about how he felt.
January was the coldest month in Portland and Anna hated it. She missed the sunny, stable weather of California. As she sipped her tea and walked to her desk, she thought about all that had happened. New Year's had long gone as February would make its appearance tomorrow, but the remaining constant was Ethan's sexual appetite. Every chance he got he was dicking her down and though every time seemed better than the last, Anna worried that would become the focus of their relationship. He hadn't talked about his feelings over Ezra's death or whether or not he had reached out to the therapist she had recommended. He wasn't being superficial per se, but he seemed to be holding back.
"Anna, where you at?" Jamal snapped his fingers. "Oh, I'm so sorry. What did you say?" He chuckled at her. "I said are you ready to present on the Oreo campaign?" Anna nodded pulling out her digital sketchpad. She loved her job and what she did, but she couldn't help but think back to New Year's Eve and her plans to apply for jobs in the animation field in Portland. She knew that there would probably be more gigs outside of Oregon, but she couldn't leave her family or Ethan.
"Will I be seeing you at the Valentine's Day Fundraiser?" Jamal asked. Anna nodded as they made their way out of the presentation. Jefferson had been pleased with her work, but made sure to keep his praise toned down for fear of preferential treatment. "Of course, you're going. You're practically a Crane." He made it sound like a joke, but Anna could read between the lines. "You bringing a hot date?" Anna inquired wiggling her eyebrows. "No, I think I'm good on dating for a while." She furrowed her brows. "I liked this girl, but waited too long to shoot my shot. My ego hasn't healed." Anna realized for the first time, despite Ethan telling her, that Jamal was into her. She was so oblivious to these sorts of things, but she only saw him as an older brother.
Anna didn't know what to say so she went with nothing. She packed up her things and said her goodbyes. She looked at Ethan's office and sighed. He hadn't come in once that month and February was starting tomorrow. Every time she asked him about it, he'd come up with some excuse, but would reiterate that the work was getting done so what did it matter.
She knew his heart wasn't in it, which was why she began working with a commercial real estate agent to find a spot for him to open up his own brewery. The market was rough for buyers at the moment, but she wanted her realtor to be on the lookout. She hoped something would pan out before his birthday. Her anxiety seemed to spike planning something that far out not knowing what the future held for them, but she remembered Jo's wise words and followed her heart.
Ethan found himself sitting in his living room watching the television absentmindedly. He felt off and tired emotionally and he knew why. He had been fighting with himself ever since he confessed what happened to Anna and even more so after they had sex. She was too good. He didn't understand how she could look at a murderer with those gorgeous brown eyes.
He was so lost in thought he didn't hear his front door open or see Lars walk in. Lars realized after two minutes of talking that Ethan had spaced out. It wasn't a good sign. He always got like this around February thanks to the Valentine's Day Fundraiser. He and Ezra were in charge of that event before he died and they all had fond memories surrounding the month.
Lars plopped down beside Ethan snapping him out of his thoughts. "What? When did you get here?" Lars looked him over. "Five minutes ago." Ethan nodded before looking out the window. "What's going on, bro?" Ethan sighed heavily. "You know what's wrong." Lars placed his hand on his best friend's shoulder and squeezed. "February and May are hard for us, but we can't let it beat us down. You've got a beautiful woman to keep the darkness away as long as you keep her close, so do that." Ethan couldn't help but smile as he thought of Anna. Her dark skin called out to him and her smile made his heart flutter. As he thought about her that same voice screamed, he was going to hurt her. "I told her about that night. She wants me to see a therapist."
"I think that's a good idea. I have one. I got one a week after Ezra died. You know Eliza and Ivy have one too. There's nothing wrong with getting help." Ethan thought on his words before shrugging. "You want something to drink." Lars followed him into the modern kitchen and sat on a barstool. "Beer." Ethan tossed him a can before opening one of his own. Lars could tell Ethan didn't want to talk about the heavy weight he carried, but his presence was lifting the load.
They talked about their women and the holidays on the horizon. "What are you getting Anna for Valentine's Day?" Ethan told him about the Tiffany's diamond tennis bracelet he had bought for her with matching diamond earrings. "She's going to kill you. You know she doesn't like you spending money." Ethan smiled and shrugged. "I enjoy spoiling her. What are you going to get Tasha?"
"She's always wanted to see a popular show on Broadway, so I'm taking her to New York the Monday after Valentine's Day weekend to see one and explore the city for a couple of days." Ethan nodded his head in approval. "She'll love that, Lars. Good job." The lounged around the living room talking about any and everything that didn't have to do with Ezra or Ethan's self-loathing. They decided to stay in and just watch basketball and order food.
Ethan was thankful that Lars had come over. He was a welcomed distraction that allowed him to get out of his head for a while. By the time midnight rolled around Lars said his goodbye and Ethan headed for bed. He hadn't talked to Anna much that day and hated it, but he wasn't in the right mindset. He fell asleep thinking about her beautiful face and smile and promised to make it up to her tomorrow.