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Tuesday, January 19
The whole aura about the house made it feel like Choi Hanbyul was stepping into it for the first time. She stood near the door, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness as she closed the door behind her.
Only the little shreds of sunlight that peaked through the closed curtains illuminated the apartment, otherwise it was pitch black. Nothing seemed to be in its place as Hanbyul remembered, making her think whether Haruto changed the layout of his house every time she came over.
This is nothing like I remember. The girl wondered as she walked through the living room, seeing many items scattered around in the once-tidy apartment. She picked up things as she went, placing them in shelves she thought fit.
Hanbyul was too scared to approach Haruto, seeing the dark aura of the house. But at the same time, she was curious. What exactly happened? She thought as she cleaned up the living room, gathering the courage to find Haruto.
Seeing all the doors in the house open, except for one, Hanbyul concluded that it was the one Haruto was in. She carefully walked towards it, raising her hand as she softly knocked on the door. No response. Hanbyul knocked again, startled when she got an answer.
"I told you to fucking leave me alone! Just go away!" He yelled, but Hanbyul heard the faint crack in his voice. Was he ... crying? She placed her hand on the door, softly breathing out.
"Haruto ... it's me, Hanbyul." She wanted to ask him to open the door, but thought against it, not wanting to force him. She was fine with staying outside if it meant he would talk to her.
Watanabe Haruto sat on the floor, hugging his knees, surprised when he heard Hanbyul's gentle, honey-like voice. He stared at the door, not understanding the force that took over him as he trudged towards the door and opened it.
He looked away as soon as he met her eyes, walking back and slumping down near the table. But that brief look was more than enough for Hanbyul. In all the three months of knowing Haruto, she had never seen that look in his eyes before.
Sorrow.
His eyes had frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle, robbing them of their usual warmth. He looked like he had taken a huge step back from life. Hanbyul wanted to console him, but she couldn't. She didn't know how. His brown eyes were damp with uncried tears, and she felt that the slightest touch would cause him to break down.
Hanbyul always knew he had a pain inside, but now, when it was visible on his face, she wished for it to just disappear. She knew it was a selfish request. People had a right to their pain, but they don't ask for it – it just arrives like a gift you never wanted.
She walked into the room, being enveloped in the darkness. Darkness came like the thick velvet curtains of the theatre. It was as if the daytime had been one part of a play and the rest was to come after this intermission of night.
Hanbyul let her eyes wander the furniture, seeing the table set out in the middle of the room, along with the other items of the deceased. She spotted the framed picture of a smiling woman in between the incense sticks and plates of food. It was his mother's death anniversary; she thought.
Kneeling down in front of the memorial table, Hanbyul clasped her hands together, closing her eyes as she paid her respects.
You must mean a lot to Haruto. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. You probably couldn't guess that your son would be in such a position after your departure. Though he isn't as bad as he puts out, but I guess you know that more than I do. He's hurting on the inside, and I hope he opens up about it. It must hurt you to see your son hurting like this. I'm not sure if I can, but I'd like to promise to take care of him. I know given the position I'm in I can't, but I'll try my best.
Haruto looked over at the girl as she paid her respects, shocked at the gesture. She wasn't inclined to do so, but still she did. Despite not even knowing who the woman is, she did. It tugged at Haruto's heart and he buried his face in his chest as he hugged his knees, remembering memories about his mother.
Sitting back, Hanbyul observed the raven-haired male, feeling her heart tighten as she alternated her gaze between the framed picture and Haruto. Ever since the time she remembered, she was always an orphan, and only had her brother and the boys to give her love. But that never compared to parental love.
Especially motherly love. She never got that. She knew that the pain of having a mother and losing her was way more compared to not having one in the first place.
But she felt the same pain Haruto did. Grief. It felt like emptiness in your heart, a shear of nothingness that somehow took over and held your soul and threatened to kill you entirely.
It gave you this heavy feeling that's like the weight of the world was resting on your shoulders and there was nothing you can do to get out from under it. It was like this hole in your heart that was the shape of the one you lost and that makes you feel the need to cry out, but no tears would come because the void was filled with numbing pain.
And the fact that Haruto had to feel the same pain hurt Hanbyul deeply.
Knowing he wouldn't be able to control his emotions if he stayed longer, Haruto got up from his seat and left the room, leaving Hanbyul alone. She had a small feeling of what he was going through and let him be, clearing the memorial table that had the day's old food on it.
She kept glancing at the grieving boy as she placed the dishes in the sink, going back into the room to clean the table. Hanbyul carefully took the frame, placing it on a stand in the living room after opening the curtains to let the light in.
"You are not supposed to keep them in the dark. They need some light," she awkwardly muttered as Haruto looked up at her actions, a blank look in his eyes.
If it works out, make sure he eats something. The words repeated in Hanbyul's mind, the girl heading towards the kitchen without a second thought.
Is he living through takeout? She couldn't help but wonder as she saw the limited food in Haruto's pantry and fridge. But she made it work. Half an hour later, Hanbyul had made steamed rice, rolled omelet and seaweed soup, sighing in content as she adjusted the cutlery on the table.
Watanabe Haruto couldn't care less about his surroundings as he stared at the picture of his mother that was in his direct line of sight. He teared up for what seemed like the nth time that day, reminiscing the joyful memories of them. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Hanbyul sitting on the loveseat, awkwardly playing with her fingers.
Why wasn't she bombarding me with questions? He pondered, wiping away a stray tear before she could see. Before he could comprehend, Hanbyul was by his side, carefully embracing him as she patted his back comfortingly.
Unconsciously, Haruto leaned into her embrace, silently crying as his tears wetted Hanbyul's shirt. But she didn't mind. She knew what it felt like to hide your feelings, and she didn't want Haruto doing the same. No words were exchanged, and Hanbyul didn't intend on giving empty words of consolation. Nevertheless, her presence itself comforted Haruto.
"Today's my parents' d-death anniversary," Haruto spoke, feeling Hanbyul's embrace tighten around him at his words. "But I'm only paying respect to my m-mother. Because she deserves it. My father doesn't."
Hanbyul felt the boy tightly hold on to her shirt, and she continued patting his back, knowing the boy wanted her to speak. "Why do you say that?" She quietly asked.
"He k-killed my mother. I don't know what happened, but they started f-fighting and the next thing y-you know ..." Haruto hiccupped, his body shaking as he relived the scene in his head. "... he had a g-gun and then he shot her. There was b-blood everywhere."
Hanbyul ran her fingers through Haruto's hair, slightly rocking back and forth as she tried comforting him. "I'm sorry, Ruto. It's alright. Let it all out, it's alright," she muttered, patting his head.
"No, it's not alright. I killed him, Hani." The boy looked up, his glossy eyes meeting hers.
"Killed who?" Hanbyul asked, even though she knew the answer.
"My father." Haruto breathed as he looked at the framed picture again. "I didn't know what to do, but then my uncle came, and he took me away from the scene. He was the former leader of SEKIRYU. He trained me to make me what I am today and made me the leader after he stepped down." He didn't realise the words leave his mouth, and Hanbyul did not point it out either.
"I don't know what it feels like to have a mother, but from the way you put it, she seems like a great person." The smile that came on Haruto's face as she spoke put a smile on Hanbyul's face as well.
He nodded, his smile widening despite the tears on his face. "She was. She meant the world to me. I probably wouldn't be a mafia leader if she was still here." Haruto's body froze as he realised his words, knowing he was too late to cover it up.
He looked up again to see Hanbyul nod understandingly, not looking scared at his words. She's still here? Even after everything I said? Why isn't she scared? The thoughts ran through his head, surprised when the younger wiped away the tears on his face.
"We can't have nice things all the time, but it's alright. We learn to live with what we have. And no matter what you do, I'm sure your mother is proud of you for living another day." She smiled, placing a small kiss on Haruto's forehead. "I know that I am."
Without a warning, Haruto placed his hand on the back of Hanbyul's neck, pulling her in for a kiss. There was no squealing or gasping this time as they kissed. Hanbyul was used to his surprise kisses now. In that kiss was the sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment.
It wasn't a kiss that erupted a thousand butterflies in your stomach. It was a kiss that gave you warmth and solace, letting you know exactly how much the other loved you.
And in that moment, Haruto knew exactly how much he loved Hanbyul.
***
ok so wow haruto told hanbyul everything
if you think he did it bc of his plan, then no. bc he didn't. it was all in the moment sorta thing.
anyways let me know what you are expecting!
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