Falling in love 💍🤍 ~jaynnie

198

monday

~jayden pov

i actually kissed my ex girlfriend yesterday. wow😳. it was a really passionate kiss it triggered something in my mind. IF we got back together i don't think we should continue to live together. only because i feel like living with someone you're not married to and you're seeing all day everyday it gets boring and annoying. i wanna miss her and have a separate life from hers. when i was with her i was just 'jules's girlfriend' 😒. i did everything with her and for her when we were out together or at her studio or even at her interviews. i just felt like i was so deep in HER life instead of my own. i never depend on her especially not now. i can make my own self happy, i can buy my own stuff, i can shower alone, i can buy a house for myself, etc. i remember when i was 16 through 17 i would depend on her for every little thing and that's why i got my heart broken. she was on a whole other level than me. i feel like we'll always be on different levels. we rarely have things in common that's why we are on different levels. i have love for her but i'm not in love. if i give her the chance to fix herself i'll let her try to make me fall back in love. i'm currently sitting at the edge of my bed still in my pjs just trying to take in the fact that I KISSED MY EX YESTERDAY. i haven't showered or brushed or washed my face yet. i've just been stuck here for 15 minutes thinking. while staring at my wall infront of me.

"...mom.. i know this is stupid i'm trying to talk to you but.. i haven't talked to you since i was 17.. it's been 2 years and i.. miss you so much... i love you.. i don't know what i'm doing wrong mom i... broke up with julie and i feel relief but deep down it hurts.." i said while my voice shook. i'm trying not to cry. i just so happened to look up and see a piece of paper folded on my nightstand. i hesitate to grab it. it started moving a little but it was just because the air pressure, my fan is on. fuck it. i grabbed the paper. i opened it. it was the last part of my moms note. the part about me and jules🥺.

"she's the love of your life, she's the one." i read while my voice shook. my bottom lip is quivering and my eyes are getting teary. i sniffled and quickly put it back down.

"so then she's the one🥺.." i pouted

~jules pov

i'm on stage with nate, the instrumentalists, and our manager. they were getting me and nate's mic tests now we're about to practice our first song but they're struggling to get the track instrumental to play. i'm on my phone and i saw nate posted.

@nateebe