Falling in love 💍🤍 ~jaynnie

197

sunday

~jules pov

i stayed up until 1 in the morning writing my song. i had finally finished the writing and i'm about to record it now. i have my own recording equipment because my manger suggested it. it's 9:30 am and we leave to the airport at 12. i really wanna visit my kids before i go but i haven't asked jayden if i could. i know where ethan lives so i can pull up. isn't that disrespectful? i just haven't been able to reach her because she would block me on instagram and snap then unblock me a few hours later and then she'll block my number and i haven't checked if it's unblocked yet. she must REALLY hate me😔. i already showered, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and got dressed. i hope new york has a lot to hold for me. i walked over to my equipment and put my headphones on. i hit record and played the instrumental.

"Do you remember happy together?
I do, don't you?
Then all of a sudden, you're sick to your stomach
Is that still true?
You said, "forever," in the end I fought it
Please be honest, are we better for it?
Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called
And said, "I miss you"
I caught it
Good to each other, give it the summer
I knew, you too
But I only saw you once in December
I'm still confused
You said, "forever," and I almost bought it
I miss fighting in your old apartment
Breaking dishes when you're disappointed
I still love you, I promise
Nothing happened in the way I wanted
Every corner of this house is haunted
And I know you said that we're not talking
But I miss you, I'm sorry
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse
Everything I know brings me back to us
I don't wanna go, we've been here before
Everywhere I go leads me back to you (You said, "forever," and I almost bought it)
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse (I miss fighting in your old apartment)
Everything I know brings me back to us (Breaking dishes when you're disappointed)
I don't wanna go, we've been here before (I still love you, I promise)
Everywhere I go leads me back to you (Nothing happened in the way I wanted)
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse (Every corner of this house is haunted)
Everything I know brings me back to us (And I know you said that we're not talking)
I don't wanna go, we've been here before (But I miss you)
Everywhere I go leads me back to you
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse
Everything I know brings me back to us
I don't wanna go, we've been here before
Everywhere I go leads me back to you" i sang into the mic and then recorded my adlibs. i took it off once i finished. i stopped recording. i walked over to my laptop which had everything i just recorded on it. i sat down at my desk. i sighed.

"...she really means the world to me.. and i fucked it up again😔" i said to myself looking sad.

~jayden pov

i'm currently sitting at the counter trying to eat my cereal but i just can't. i feel nauseous. all ive been thinking about is.. her. you guys know who her is. i don't feel like it was a mistake breaking up with her but at the same time... i don't know i kinda do😔. it's just i miss our conversations. i miss her company. i miss her understanding me more than anybody ever had🥺. her touch would make me feel so safe. it's like my anxiety and panic attacks disappeared when i was around her. i had a panic attack this morning for the first time in months. i don't know what happened. i just started freaking out. i felt really.. alone🥺. WHEN I HAD JULES SHE MADE ME FEEL SO FUCKING GOOD AND SAFE I HAD NO STRESS😔. the kids are eating though. i'm feeding diamond in her high chair and prince is next to me at the counter eating his fruits, bacon, and eggs. he's getting so big. last night he asked me when he's seeing mommy i told him i don't know. then he asked where is she so i said at her house. i don't wanna tell him we broke up either way he's gonna see her some days and he'll see me some days. i'm not keeping the kids away from her. we're co-parents. the door bell rang. it's like 10:45.

"i got it" ethan said while walking to the door. the only people downstairs are me ethan and the kids. he opened the door and he looked confused. i can't see who's at the door.