ISKRIBOL (Mga Suka ng Isang Bored na Otistik)

Suka #96

A letter from a guy in the friendzone

It's cool, actually, you know, being a friend. It makes a lot of things easier. Way easier. Most guys would have a hard time just getting her to talk to you. You have to do all the stupid shit just to get her attention and when you do it gets even harder. You have to keep talking to maintain that attention. You have to be interesting.

Well, me, I don't. By the second she sees me, my day will be like listening to an audio book of a girl's diary. I don't need to do all the stupid shit just to get her attention. I don't have to maintain the attention she gives me because, well, she is always there.

And I'm always here.

This is what you get being in the zone. You'll be a sponge. She grows confident on the fact that you are always there and your ears will always listen to her stories (mostly about other people) and that she thinks you are happy (with the constant laughing on her jokes) and that's it. The friendzone is where bullets hit you the most in a crossfire. And here I am, happy being hit.

I am hit with the fact that this is the peak. There's no developing story. There's no sequel. I am just a steady happy story of a guy with a girl friend. Funny how that space (girl_friend) sums it all up. Funny, and sad.

I am also hit with the fact that anytime, any fucking time, I will become disposable. She will meet a guy and she will be in love with him. He doesn't even have to pass through this zone and that is just fucking sad. They go to date(s), assuming that he's an amazing guy than I am. She will talk about him more often, assuming that he's more interesting than I am. And the sad part is that she will talk about him to me. I'll be one battered sponge.

But this is what I do best. This is what guys in the friendzone do best: being a good friend. She will have her ups and downs and you have to be there flying and falling with her. The flights will be amazing and the falls will be hard. Though it's not true all the time.

You see, there are times when she's happy and you just can't feel it more than she does: like being in love with someone else. That will hurt. Her smiles will be like needles in your heart and you will hate your heart for feeling that way because you know that you have to be happy for her. But you will still feel hurt.

There are also times when she's sad and you feel twice as much pain as she does because you don't even want to see her frown for a second and there she is, crying on your shoulder while you plead for Cupid to just fucking transfer all her pain to you because you are just so good handling all of it.

I know. It is sad. No matter how much you want to burst out the feeling of being broken for too long, you have to suck it all up. You are a sponge. Your job is to listen to her stories and suck all the pain all by yourself.

But you are a friend. You have to be a good one. You love her. I know you do and every single day of your life you wish for her to love you back but you know, as I know, that that part of your story is not written.

Yet.

I don't know.

And that's a good thing.

Right?