Yesterday

Chapter 24

My hand shook, causing me to drop the phone. My vision became blurred with tears. Not wanting Martin to think I had gone and hang up on me, I quickly composed myself and picked up the phone. I didn't even know what to say to him. A small cry escaped my lips. The sadness in his voice was overwhelming. 

"The wake is going to be in three days, and the funeral is the very next day after that. I've planned it all the best I could, but you're the only family he's got, Charlotte."

My body was trembling. "I'll be home tomorrow," I assured Martin, choked up with sobs. I didn't know what else to say, so I promptly hung up. My thoughts instantly wandered to my mother, and I felt a fresh wave of sadness wash over me. Did she know yet? 

I picked the reciever back up and shakily dialed her number. After ringing for what seemed like ages, an automatic voice spoke from the other end.

"We're sorry, the number you dialed has been disconnected."

I slowly hung up the phone in disbelief. Disconnected? Where could my mother be? I felt completely abandoned.

I turned around to see Brian still standing there, a sympathetic look on his face. He had obviously known what the call was about before I even took it. 

"I'm so sorry, Charlotte," he said, and he gave me a hug. Though somewhat awkward, it was still a sweet gesture. I looked up at him.

"Could-could you tell the boys I got tired and went to sleep? I don't want them to worry. And tell Paul to sleep in the room with the rest of the boys tonight, I just need to be alone." Brian nodded. "Of course." I gave him a weak smile and headed down to the second hotel room. Or, I guess it was kind of me and Paul's room now that I thought about it.

I went into the room and quickly shut the door behind me. Finally alone, I let the cries out. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I must have laid on the bed and cried for hours. My entire life was falling apart before my very eyes. First Elizabeth, and now my father. I knew he was having a tough time with Elizabeth being gone and my mother leaving, but I never thought he would go as far as he did. I mean, to take your own life....

I sobbed at the thought of my father in his final moments of life. What could he have possibly be thinking of? 

The only good thing I had going for me now was Paul and the rest of the boys, but now things had changed. My father was gone. Whatever empty space I already had inside of me had now grown twice as large. 

I tangled my fingers into my hair and screamed. I couldn't bear the pain. Why did I ever have to leave home and try to look for Paul? If I had stayed home, maybe this never would have happened.

It's all your fault, Charlotte. Again.

The ache I felt inside of me was unbearable. Thinking that maybe a hot bath would help soothe me, I made my way into the bathroom. Running the water, I undressed and observed myself in the mirror as the tub filled. I was disgusted.

All your fault, Charlotte. All your fault.

In the mirror, I could see the flimsy, disposable razor siting on the edge of the tub. Bursting into a new round of sobs, I sighed heavily. It was going to be a long night.

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A/N:

Sorry about the short chapter! I had to get Charlotte's last few thoughts in before I switched back over to Paul for a change.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read the story so far and keeps up with it, it means the world to me!