I Didn't Think I would Mourn

696 26 3
                                    

Me: I know myself well enough to know that even if I hated my mother enough to murder her myself, I would mourn her. For what she could have been. I hope you enjoy!
—————————————————————————

(Y/n) and Alastor took the train back to New Orleans. Alastor spent the trip talking about how much fun it was to finally be rid of her. He laughed and watched as (Y/n) slowly went from agreement to silence.

Mama Amelie greeted the two and the evening went normally. It was a standard, happy, and cool evening. (Y/n) waited until the two retired to their rooms. (Y/n) crept into the living room and curled up on the couch. The fire was low, but still alight. He thought about his mother. The few moments that they could share happiness. Then he remembered all of the terrible things he could. The time he was poisoned, the threats to suicide, the emotional manipulation, every slanderous word about his father, the admittance to purposeful miscarriages...

"Why? Why would you do it?" He whispers.

A small figure walks into the room. Mama Amelie furrows her eyebrows as she sees the boy start to cry. She places a small candle holder to the side table and lights it.

"You should be sleepin' youngin." She says quietly.

(Y/n) sniffles and wipes his eyes. He composes himself, "Of course. My apologies."

Amelie puts a hand on his shoulder before he can stand up. She sits beside him. "Are you upset because of her?

(Y/n) shakes his head, "Don't worry about it, Miss Amelie."

She hums, "Do you want me to get Alastor?"

(Y/n) shakes his head, "No! There's no need to wake him up for me." He gives a wobbly smile and shakily says, "I'm okay."

Amelie looks to the fire, "You know... it's not a weakness to cry. It actually shows ya strength."

(Y/n) takes a second to really absorb it before he chokes, "How can I believe it?"

Amelie hugs him, "You don't have to believe me. One day you'll know. I just thought you needed to hear that."

(Y/n) feels the tears spring to his eyes and when Amelie starts to stand he grabs her wrist.

"Stay." He pleads.

Amelie gives a small smile and sits back down. She cradles his face. (Y/n) gives her a small smile, still sniffling.

"I didn't think I would mourn her..." he says.

Amelie shrugs, "You never know, child. Emotions are hard to understand."

"I think... it's not because she's gone. I think... It's because she was never... good to me" He takes the time to think his sentences through and pauses.

Amelie rubs her thumbs over his cheeks, "She was no good that one. That doesn't mean that you can't love her though. All chi'drin hold affection for the'r mamas. It's natural."

(Y/n) lets out a shuddering breath, "Then why couldn't she love me? Was it on purpose?"

Amelie shakes her head, "I can't tell ya that. What I do know is that it wasn't you. You are the sweetest, most caring boy. You're strong and creative."

(Y/n) cries, "Thank you!"

Amelie holds (Y/n) in a tight hug. She gently rocks him. "You're wonderful. Anyone should he happier than a clam to have ya for a son."

(Y/n) hugs her tightly, crying into her shoulder. " Thank you mama."

Amelie pauses in his gently rubbing, shocked. She then smiled and ran her fingers through his hair. "Of course, mon beb."

(Y/n) pulls away. "Don't feel like you have to do anything! I know I'm not your son. I shouldn't have said that-"

Mama Amelie shushes him, "I'd be honoured to be ya mother. Ya know... I used to be a governess?"

(Y/n) wonders where she's going with this, but nods. Alastor had said something at one point about it. Apparently, it was only one family she tutored.

Amelie smiles woefully, "Being close to children and helping raise them is part of the job. I had my Alastor, but I was always sad I didn't have more. So you're a very warm welcome."

She dries the last of his tears and gives a warm smile. She pulls him back into a hug. (Y/n) happily accepts.

(Y/n) says, "Thank you."

Amelie scoffs, "I'm gonna have ta break that habit of saying thank you too much. Work on the sorry reflex too."

(Y/n) lets out a sigh, "Yeah? You'll have ta be patient... mama."

Amelie smiles to herself, "I can do that, mon fawn."

The two held each other a while longer. They calmed down and (Y/n) felt much better. He and Amelie talked further about Sheryll. When (Y/n) yawned, Amelie suggested they sleep. Both went to their rooms for the night. (Y/n) could finally sleep with a small smile for the first time in weeks.

Alastor had watched and wasn't sure how to feel. He sighs and goes back to his room before either spot him. He gets out his journal and makes another entry.

'October 2nd, 1920

The situation concerning the newest household member has changed. (Y/n) has become part of the family. Mama is going to hold this over me. She could tell that (Y/n) was here for good and she'll tell me just how right she was. I can already tell that she'll try to get us together. I refuse to give into her meddling. Even if I don't think It would be that terrible.

Nevertheless, I had a new experience. I haven't been afraid of anything since a child. Not in the sense most would assume, that is. Today, I was scared of the creature I watched burn his mother. (Y/n) wasn't the same person and for a minute I felt what my victims did. It was disorienting. Nothing was more disorienting than the hug that followed. I had to push the man away. It was too foreign.

I'm slowly realising that I don't mind having this new dynamic. Having a partner for my kills has actually made it easier and when I contact loa they ask about him. It's interesting. I'm tempted to start another version of 20 questions. I need my mind to settle.

-Alastor Boudreaux'
—————————————————————————
Me: Enjoy! Alastor slowly realises what he feels only to be hard headed! It's gonna take some major events to change that philosophy. Watch and have fun readers!

Alastor x Male Reader PrequelWhere stories live. Discover now