get over it

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(rooftop)

LIA POV

i head up to the rooftop, running. not that Yeji will actually do something stupid there, i'm just worried about her. because every time she will be distant and silent like this, it means she's bottling all her emotions inside, especially the things that should be thought thoroughly.

Yeji is the kindest soul, the brightest person, and the sister i never had. she means so much to me, that i would do anything or fight anyone for her. i'll always protect her, no matter what.

"Yeji." i called out, busting thru the rooftop's door. looking around for the latter.

"Yeji!" i called out once again, louder. still, no reply from her. is she even here?

"YEJI-AH!" i shouted as i walk around. and finally, gradually loud whimpers can be heard.

i turned to the sound's direction and there, i saw her, curled up and hugging her knees.

"Yej." i sighed, walking to her.

"don't. don't come near me." she flatly said. really? right now? 

"Lia, please. not now." she sternly said, knowing that i'm just standing in front of her.

i said no words to her, i'm just gonna wait 'til she faces me with annoyance.

and like i thought, she did look up to me with annoyance in her sad eyes.

"i'm not leaving Yej. not now, not ever. u need me and u know that." i softly said.

she just stared at me as her tears slowly fall, then she just lost it, bursting into tears.

i quickly sat next to her, put her head on my shoulder, side-hugging her.

"talk to me, Yeji....please?" i asked, holding back my tears.

it pains me seeing her like this, it's dreadful to see Yeji breaking right in front of me.

i just held her as secure as i can make her feel as she clung onto me tight.

Yeji was never one to cry easily, so when she does, it's too much.

"Jisu-ya....am i not good enough?" she asked, startling me. where did that come from?

"u are, Yeji." 

"then why don't i feel happy and relieved? that i still made it to the 3rd round? that i impressed everyone with today's stage? why?"  she cried more, i don't know what to say.

the show's affecting her this much? it's just recent, how did Yeji end up like this so quickly?

"why do i feel like i'm still on the show just because of pity and not for my efforts?" she asked again, triggering my tears to slowly fall.

"i don't feel like the given title to me...JYP's secret weapon? bullshit." she scoffed.

"first stage was a disappointment. today was terrible. the next stage will be ugly too." she chuckled dryly, tears still flowing down her face.

"then there's Ryujin over-worrying about me. i'm not a fucking baby, i can take care of myself. just 'cause she proved herself to be 'MixNine's Ace' doesn't mean she can make me feel like i can't live up to the given title to me. she's just so great, isn't she?" she angrily yet sadly ranted.

i can't do this anymore, i can't see Yeji like this. it's too much, i finally cried with her.

i stood up abruptly, startling her. we stared at each for like an eternity until i broke it.

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