Jeno was standing in the corner of the cabin. I was just pressing him to the wall, our fingers gliding down and up our chests, faces, sides, backs, thighs. The way he had taken me on my bed almost an hour ago was as if a tornado has crossed my inner...
The glass walls of the Sanctuary were letting the daylight in, yet blurring out everything behind them. Architect Moon Taeil had designed them as indistinct to allow all thoughts to stay in that inner space exclusively. No distractions, no outside worlds, just you and yourself.
"This room could be in any place, in any country, on any planet, in any universe. It shows how less we need anything outside our brains, how everything we require is already in here." Had said grandfather the first time he has brought me here.
The Sanctuary was that spacious empty room with a warm soft floor you could sit or lay on and glass walls changing colors adjusting to transitions of seasons, day times, and light. I haven't been here since high school's senior year, too caught up in my world of managing the project and exploring myself.
I never liked that place much, the silence and emptiness were making me nervous after just a short time, yet today I needed to rethink my life.
How had the boy who has loved Renjun, was learning how to play piano in uncle Taeyong's villa or spending his days daydreaming in The Lagoon ended up like that?
"I'm sorry we can't be together... this... it has not been what I was looking for." Renjun's cried out face appeared back from my memories. That autumn day when he had broken up with me my whole world shuttered. I didn't know what to do, where to go so I ended up knocking to my best friend's door.
"Don't worry you have me, I'll take care of you." Had said Hendery that day when I was sobbing into his clothes.
Yes, he has kept his promise leading me into a world I've never realized could be inside me, or was it me letting go of love, diving into a dark forest of my likings. No boundaries, no limits, any idea, any pleasure, any taboo to break was fine. Last night I have been there again, in the dark forest with Hendery, but last night it seemed different. It had consequences, the consequences of me pulling back for the very first time. Obstacles, my project has never faced and three people I didn't even know in person losing their lives.
"I thought I'll find you here." Hendery's voice caused a shiver to run down my spine.
I turned from the glass walls catching his tall posture.
There were dark shadows under his eyes as if he hasn't slept at all. Actually I couldn't find rest either after all that had happened.
"I had handled a press conference. Told them it has been an old spacecraft from your grandfather's days some idiot launched accidentally and it has nothing to do with the project. Senator Zhong was more than worried, but I calmed him down as much as the other action holders and partners. I've spent the rest of the night with the Science Group working on a solution, we have one but it requires you to cooperate." His business like tone had a hidden message I could more sense than read.
I was quiet as we were watching each other with caution.
"Where is the queen ship? What was it doing in that earthquake ruined zone?" Asked Hendery with that hideous calmness.
"I don't need to include anyone, not even you into my decisions."
I could suddenly feel pain in my knuckles because of how hard I have been squeezing my fists since he has entered.
"Typical Na Jaemin, king of his planet who never does anything wrongly." Hendery laughed sarcastically. "But you've ruined my last birthday on Earth and I will never forget that."
"I've never given you allowance to launch that probe-sphere."
"Never said don't launch it either. How come last night you have been perfectly fine with my plan to send my nudes into space? You've been perfectly fine with me touching you everywhere I like. You were freaking begging me to lay you down." He approached stopping so close I could feel his hot breath on my neck, causing goosebumps.
His fingertip brushed down my lips when I grabbed his arm stopping him.
"As you've said last night I have been freaking drunk. I haven't been myself."
"Since when did you go into lying mode? We both know you were completely sober and dying to be taken by me again." He leaned in making a move as if he would bite my lips but backed off in the last moment breaking out with laughter. "It would be amazing if you could see your face right now. Priceless."
"You're delusional. Don't you have anything to do?" I let go of his arm taking a step back.
"What does sweet boss want me to do?" He was still amused when I felt like slapped.
"Freaking get lost, I can't look at you." I turned from him to that glass walls.
"The action holders are waiting. We need to vote for the new launching plan."
"Tell them I'll be there soon."
"Almighty Jaemin has some hidden pleasures in showing all those scientists, lawyers, billionaires and politicians they're just puppets in his hands, who will even have to wait the whole day for his highness to appear."
"I know you're bitter about the party. The thing is I don't care the slightest." I turned back catching his burning eyes.
"I hope your last birthday on Earth will be as great." Hendery bowed ninety degrees before leaving the room.
I heard him slamming the huge metal doors shut with impact.
I sank down to the floor on my knees feeling all strength leaving me so suddenly.
"Grandfather what should I do? Please, please help. Send me a sign." I prayed watching the blurry shades of colors wishing there would be something that could put some cooling on that inner burns and wounds, still my only option seemed to lead trough my darkness and my demons to maybe one day reach the end of that dark forest.
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