Broken But Beautiful

23. Euphoria(?) of the Day

Manik

I don't think I knew how long I've been looking at this angel sleeping peacefully in my arms.

Oh, she's Nandini Murthy.

The thin light of the dawn has been falling like a matte golden line in her face, coming across a open corner of the window opposite the bed. She was sleeping in simple, perfect rhythm of heartbeat and breath, which was falling lightly over my shoulder where her face was half hidden. 

I had a nightmare tonight, again. When I woke up, I first thought there was an angel sleeping on my arm.

And I couldn't stop myself thinking that somehow- she indeed looked like one. Simple, serene, peaceful- with a musk of innocence that surrounded her like white peach clouds. And then there was red in light blotches all over her. Her cheeks, the tip of her nose, her entire bare body.

Red was my favorite color. And Nandini Murthy was red.

But she had grey inside her, too. The grey I knew well because of my own association with it. I sometimes wondered what made her that grey.

And I still hadn't figured out why her face looked so familiar to me.

I had asked Mukti, Alya numerous times if they had happened to show me any of her pictures before, they declined. They didn't know why, according to them- but they never had brought us anywhere together. Coincidences can me strange, after all.

But there was some reason why I just- couldn't leave this in the hands of coincidence. I myself didn't know why, but- 

Nandini stirred in my arms, snuggling closer to me. I glanced at the AC, wondering if she was cold. I softly caressed the back of my hand through her exposed cheek. She again stirred at my touch, now pulling on the silk duvet in her fist. I didn't pull my hand away- I couldn't. Instead I gathered the free locks of her silk hair behind her ear. Her skin was cold, but she didn't look too uncomfortable. 

In fact, she looked like she was in heaven. Or maybe she was heaven herself.

She stirred again- this time the jhumka in her ear made a soft tickling sound. I had chosen not to pull them off last night- she looked beautiful in them. The way those tiny, silver things had sparkled in her ears in the dark beach- and her eyes were magic. They had shined in the black night on behalf of the brightest stars hidden behind the dark clouds. But brighter, shinier- more alive-

Her eyelids fluttered ever so slightly, she murmured, "Manik,"

I had heard my name numerous times, in numerous ways last night in her voice- I loved hearing it every single time. The scream of my name when I had first entered her- God, I still could hear it in unstoppable echoes. I shut my eyes, hearing it again. My jaw clenched.

Nandini took my name again. I opened my eyes. She was trying to open hers.

"Hey," I murmured in a soft voice, hardly audible, "You don't have to wake up yet,"

I wished none of us had to wake up today. I wanted to behold her every move, the whole day. Perceive her every breath. She was my mystery.

Something tightened inside me. This feeling wasn't good, Manik.

I sighed. I wasn't a good man anyways. Will it cause too much indulgence than it already has caused?

"Do you like it?"

My brows drew together. Her voice sounded as if she was in a lost trance; soft, melodious and something in the middle of consciousness and unconsciousness.