Broken But Beautiful

54 (b). Nandini Murthy, August 22, 2011.

"Rishu, look!"

I peeked out the car window, pulling Rishabh on my lap so he could see it. I pointed towards the sky, "There are so many starts tonight, Rishu!"

"Wow Nandi..." He murmured in amazement, sticking himself on the glass as he stared into the stars. God, this kid loved the stars. His entire room looked less a bedroom more an astronomical museum.

"Rishabh, that glass is dirty!" Amma tried to pull him back, "Just watch from a little distance baby,"

She frowned at me and I replied with a guilty smile. She shook her head.

"Appa, how long till we reach?" I asked him, leaning towards the front seats. He chucked from the passenger's seat, "I can't tell yet, beta. Let's pass this road and then we can tell. Maybe another two hours,"

We were going to a new place for vacation. It was soon going to be my NEET, so my parents decided I needed fresh air before I sat to prepare for the exam. So we were going to visit one of dad's friend's newly launched resort.

"Nandi, the stars are gone!"

I looked back outside. We had drove into a road full of eerily long, big trees. I laughed, lightly hitting his head.

"Idiot, stars can't be gone!" I pulled him back from the window, "The trees blocked our view of the sky-"

He sagely nodded. I looked back at Amma and she was frowning again.

"What did I say about discouraging words in front of Rishu, Nandini?"

I murmured a sorry, staring out. As much as I loved my brother, Amma was too much with him. He was seven years old and he did not need to be coddled in every single thing. I did not mean he was an idiot, did I? Elder sisters talk like that with their brothers, it was just fine.

But I didn't complain. I didn't have anything to complain about. Considering the fact that before last seven years of life I hardly saw my parents smiling real-

Rishabh was a lucky charm for all of us, I suppose. A brightness.

I pulled him close, wondering as always if I was even a little jealous of him. He was my parents' favourite- everybody knew that. I honestly couldn't blame them about it- he was my favourite too. It was just that... everything seemed to be about him. Again, I was not complaining, and I honestly didn't think I was jealous. But sometimes it felt weird that even in my own story, Rishabh seemed to have become the main lead and I was just any other side character.

I thought we were the main lead in our own stories. At least in our own stories, right?

I realized the car was pulling up, breaking me out of my chain of thoughts.

"Why are we stopping?"

"Something's wrong with the car," Appa mumbled, a little worried, "The sound doesn't seem right.... Sweta, why don't we get out of the car for a while? Let me and Shukla check the engine..."

We all stepped out of the car, Rishabh's hand tightly secured in my grip. This boy had a habit of losing it every time he saw anything close to the nature.

And just as I suspected, he did lose it.

"Nandi! Look!" He spinned his head around in astonishment, "The trees are soo tall and big ... wow..."

I shook my head, staring ahead into the free sky now.

I was worried about the NEET.

I mean, 12th was hard. Really hard. And NEET is supposed to be a thousand times harder than that. I had to get in. Not only get in, but get into AIIMS. My passion for medicine was the only thing I find myself associating with my parents with- and I wanted to make them proud. My parents were both equally high achieving in the field- I knew nothing short of AIIMS would make them happy.

What if I didn't make it-

"Nandi! Look, there's a white flower!"

"How are you so sure at night it's a white flower- Rishabh no come back!"

I ran behind Rishabh. Apparently he spotted a white flower at the end of the road in the dead of the night, and broke free from my grip. I just had to get lost in my own thoughts, didn't I- I scolded myself. I took a quick glance around - Amma was still busy with Appa and the car. Thank God.

"Rishu..." I whispered in shush, "Come back here! That's too near the road-"

He turned and smiled at me, the flower in his hand. I shook my head, "How many times do I tell you, Rishu! You pluck the flowers and they die- RISHABH NO!"

It all happened too fast. A blazing headlight. A huge truck. Another car in the opposite.

Rishabh in the middle. My heart stopped beating.

I heard a screeching thud.

I shut my eyes and screamed. And screamed. And screamed. I heard my mother scream. I heard my father scream. I heard another enormous crash. I kept screaming.

Until there was no screaming left in the world.

Or the world was gone.

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