Broken But Beautiful

20. The Friendship that Cannot Be Friendship, At All

Manik

"Happy Anniversary!" 

The whole shouted at once with big smile in everyone's face, welcoming Dada Dida in the hall room, nicely decorated in their favorite-white and memories. With tears in their happy eyes they cut the cake, fed us- and thanked us thousand times for making their 50th marriage anniversary so special for them. Apparently, we all had planned for a day out for them in all those places they had been spending time together all these years of togetherness. We took that time to get the house decorated. The best part- they thought we all forgot about their special day.

And the worst part- Nandini Murthy is still in front of my eyes, still inside my brain, and nothing that I do is getting her out of my system. Not a single shit.

I tried to let the steam off by getting drunk. What happened? I ended up kissing her few more times and spending the night holding her like that against me. I spent 2 hours in the morning fighting headache and working out. Then I spent the whole day running crazy with the preparation (yes, me) and whenever I used to sit down for a minute or two, I wrote. But even there she was, lurking as Emma Carter. Damn it.

The excruciating way I wanted her... it wasn't healthy anymore. Fuck that, after last night, I don't think I want her anymore. It has become this growing ache inside me, like a hole- and I needed to fill it up. 

And no one could do that other than this one freaking woman looking so ravishing in white. Smiling and laughing like there's no tomorrow and yet, yet- the ache was inside her too. Every time our eyes glanced back at each other, even though accidentally, it was so crudely apparent in her eyes-

Which somewhere satisfied my torment as well as made it hundredth times worse, however twisted fuck up that sounded. But then, do I even care if that sounded twisted? I couldn't think of ever regarding myself as a gentleman, or sane.

And this girl has successfully taken however much of sanity that I thought was left in me. Congratulations, Dr. Nandini Murthy.

About last night.. I couldn't even think about it without beating the shit out of myself. How the fuck did I get drunk, out of all people and all the damn time? Most importantly... I- I had fallen asleep with her. I had shared the same bed with her the whole night..

Only if she knew in what danger she had been all night.

Even if that- that didn't happen in last few years- I still had no fucking right to take a chance with it. My nightmares had been viciously triggering back lately. What if- what if-

I clenched my eyes shut and gripped the beer bottle in my hand tighter, unable to even think about it.

"Manik,"

My eyes snapped open.

Nandini was standing in front of me, frowning, "Is there anything wrong?"

She looked away- and damn it, yes. Everything was fucking wrong. 

We both ignored each other all day. And I thought it was best keeping it that way, since she... "What are you doing here?"

She was the most under dressed here- wearing a white cotton and lace embroidered kurti with black pants and silver earrings. She hadn't even put on kohl under her eyes, like she always did. And yet...

Taking her route I also looked away, cursing myself for still having the nerves of gawking her like this. I glanced back at the hall full of close relatives and enjoying people, and grunted in a lower voice, "Look Nandini, I don't wanna create a scene-"