Broken But Beautiful

48. Her Own Terms

Is 8375 words too much? Sorry:)

Nandini

I inhaled it first.

The earthy dampness of the soil, the icy mist in the air, the indulgence of tropical richness that was too familiar to the peace of my mind. I took a deep breath and let it out, welcoming the instant peace that settled inside me, just like it has been since I was 9 years old, since the day Amms first brought me here. The small cottage house in Lonavala. My little peace of heaven in the storms of hell that followed me my entire life.

I opened my eyes. Letting the most welcoming view of my life welcome me back.

The soft glow of the dawn draped on a lavender sheath around my eyes as I gazed outside through a glass window. I shifted on my seat- the passenger seat of a car- and a deep soreness held my body tight. I had just woken up from a sleep in front of Amms' house, in the passenger seat. In my car. 

Then it happened. The walk-down-to-memory lane. Madhav, the engagement, Manik-

Manik. 

Waves after waves of tangible memories crashed into me, making my breath hitch. 

Manik. The car. The dark forest. The almost-accident. The end of the night-

My skin prickled as the images emerged. I slowly turned to my right.

Manik sat on the driver's seat, his entire body turned to his left, eyes calmly adhered to me. There was no rush, no hurry in his gaze- they contemplated me in quietude. His lips curled, "Look who's up,"

"How long have we been here?" I asked, shifting around in my seat, wincing a little as I tried to move past the stiff soreness my body was held at. 

"Reached here an hour ago. Took me around 45 minutes after I started driving again," he leaned forward, brushing away loose stands of hair out of my face. My eyes drooped, only for a second or two, taking in the tingles his fingers left on my skin.

"Slept good, sweetheart?" he murmured softly. I nodded, suddenly realizing why my body was so sore. 

It didn't have much to do with sleeping in the passengers seat.

Images after images, event after event, replayed in my mind. It tingled into my skin, raw and bare, as though it was all happening right now. I felt every hold, every touch, every kiss. Every thrust.

My entire body was suddenly on fire.

He caught my eyes with his, "You're blushing, Nandini. Why?"

I looked away. Did he really just ask me why?

I heard a low, hoarse chuckle leave his throat as he pulled back, "Now, can we please go inside this beautiful little house? Been waiting for an hour,"

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, unbuckling the seat belt, carefully avoiding his gaze. 

I heard him murmur something under his breath, but didn't stop to listen. I couldn't. Manik Malhotra suddenly felt forbidden again. I stepped out of the car. It was 5:45 in the morning. Sachin kaka was usually a very early riser, but I chose not to take the chances. I unlocked the main gate and opened one side of the door, allowing Manik enough space to roll the car inside. 

I walked inside as Manik parked the car on the driveway. I let out a deep, struggling breath I had been holding inside me for a long, long time. It evaporated into the hearty, icy air of Lonavala. I looked outside, taking in my most favorite view in the world. Amms' cottage was not exactly in the highest peak above the sea level, but the world here spread in front of me in green disguised in blues and lavender above the hills, as the sun was seen slowly peeking its golden touch behind the heights. I could smell the fresh evidence of rain in the air, feel its presence in the damp and chill in the wind. I could make out the motionless reflection of the rising sun in the lake few feet beneath the cottage. I was so lost, it took me a few moments to realize someone was calling me.