After a series of disastrous dates Elsie's sister set her up on a blind date with Will. He was obnoxious, unbearable and totally irresistible.
Find out how one night of fun leads to a lifetime of responsibility.
Book 2
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Stubbed my toe this morning and now it's twice the size and bright red, but it's proving to be a great distraction from replying to Will's texts.
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Okay. Okay, I gave in. I replied to Will, but only because I'm off work with a broken toe and I was bored.
Think Caroline is quite keen for me to start my maternity leave early what with all the sick time I've had; I wouldn't mind, but I've still got a good seven weeks of being a fat bastard!
Anyway, I agreed that I would meet Will and his parents for breakfast on the weekend, I can't really be arsed, but he said his mother is getting on his last nerve — he deserves it, mind — too nice for my own good, that's my problem.
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Went to breakfast with Will and his parent's today, won't lie I was kind of dreading it, but it wasn't too bad.
His mum was all apologetic about how Will had behaved and his dad kept calling him a knobhead, I agreed, I might add. Will looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up.
"Have you got everything you need, anything we can get for you love?" his mum asked. "Maybe we could get the pram, what do you think Colin?"
"Can do, but it's coming out of his bloody inheritance," he pointed his finger at Will.
To be honest, I hadn't really looked at prams, I hadn't really looked at anything baby related, I kinda left it all to my mum. She'd pointed out a few in the Mothercare catalogue and I'd pretended to show a smidge of interest. But I didn't want to seem ungrateful.
"Okay, um, maybe we can look on the weekend, my mum and sister have arranged a baby shower, you can come if you want."
"Oh, I'd love too, thank you," she started to cry and I felt weird.
"Baby shower? What's a bloody baby shower?" Will's dad piped up
My sentiments exactly!
"Can I come?" Will asked, as his mother explained to his father what a baby shower was.
"No, it's for girl's only."
"But it's my baby as well."
Ugh, I was so done with his shit. His baby as well, funny way of showing it? Where had he been the last seven months? He wasn't bloody showing an interest when all the throwing up and constipation was happening, but no, a sniff of cake and swig of champers and he's all over it!
He was not coming to my baby shower!
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Thirty-four weeks down, six to go. How the hell am I supposed to make it to the end? I look like I'm smuggling a beach ball and my tits are like udders, sworn off milk for life, I swear.
34 Weeks Pregnant
Your baby will now weigh around 5lbs and measure about 45cm in length; they won't grow much more in length but will continue to put on around 1-2lb per week. Your little one should continue to move just as much as they always have — it's a myth that movement slows down as labour approaches, they just have less space to move in.
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Your baby's hearing is now developed enough so they can hear your voice, it might be good to start talking to them. Their lungs are almost fully developed ready for breathing independently after birth. Your baby's finger and toenails will also have grown, and if your baby is overdue it's likely that they'll need a trim.
You will have an antenatal appointment with your midwife this week, this is the perfect opportunity to talk through your birth plan and discuss pain relief options. Your midwife will also be able to tell you what you need to do if you start having contractions or your waters break; if your waters go with a gush you should contact your midwife or the hospital labour ward.
