Elsie-Rae's Having a Baby

New Year, Same Old Me

Almost halfway through January already, ugh! Don't worry there's been none of that new year, new me bullshit, mainly because I'm never going to change. I've tried before, haven't I? It didn't work. I remember that time I thought I was going to be all classy and ladylike, it lasted for like a week. 

I think I've been depressed or something too. I didn't hear anything from Will after I sent him that text message with a copy of the scan in, and that really fucking hurts. I don't even know if it hurts me, or if I'm more upset that he won't even acknowledge the fact that he'd going to have a son, and he's going to be a father. I just don't get how it doesn't mean anything to him and like, even though he said he wasn't ready for settling down, he didn't want a kid or to be dad, he's out there playing happy families with Sophie and her two kids. I don't care if he doesn't want to settle down with me, I can get over that, but I can't get over the fact that no one in his life even knows about the baby; it's like he's too embarrassed to admit to it. Surely, if Sophie really liked Will and wanted to be with him she would accept the fact that he's going to be a father, he's going to have a child of his own, I mean she has two and that didn't stop him from being with her. 

If I've learnt anything from this, it's that I'm stupid. Really stupid. I spent ages heartbroken over Ben and then  I was okay, I was getting back to being the old me and enjoying life and the fucking Steph and Matt set me up on that fucking blind date and it was a total disaster, but I still went out with him again. And he came up with this idea that we would see each other occasionally and sleep together and it would be okay, fun even. He didn't want anything serious and neither did I, well, that's what I thought, but I did. I wanted more from Will, I wanted more than he was willing to give, more than he thought I was worth. All he saw me as was someone to scratch the itch when there was no one else, but Sophie, he must really love her, they're all like Facebook official and everything. Shit!

Talking of Facebook, that's how I managed to fill out the father's details in my notes for the midwife, I got his full name and date of birth from his profile that's visible to everyone — I mean it's not like he's got anything to hide; he doesn't care if everyone knows his business. And then I burst into tears, I told her that I could give her any more information than that because he's dumped me; he'd walked out the door without so much as a second glance and I'd heard nothing since. She was really understanding and then I realised that I wish I'd told her sooner — he's the one who left me
— I don't need to be ashamed.

24 Weeks Pregnant

Now you've reached the twenty-fourth week your baby is now considered viable; this means that your baby would stand a chance of survival if born now. Your baby is around a foot long, and the size of a papaya; they weigh around 1.3lbs and will gain weight each week

Your baby lungs are now beginning to mature, and their ears are continuing to develop, so they can hear sounds properly — mainly your heartbeat and voice. Their face is now fully formed, complete with eyelashes and eyebrows.

You may be feeling more tired, but find falling asleep even more difficult, try to avoid caffeine, eat your evening meal earlier and use plenty of pillows to make yourself comfortable. You may experience some dental problems, such as bleeding gums or sensitivity, make the most of your free dental care offered to you during pregnancy. Due to the extra mucus, your body produces in pregnancy you may find you have a stuffy nose, sinusitis and headaches frequently.

Doctor Miranda Carr
Pregnancy Matters

Well, wasn't she full of the joys of life? Pregnancy wasn't all it was cracked up to be, us women, we go through a right shit time, only for most of us to be told that the baby looks like the father when it's eventually born. Well, no offence, but I hope this baby looks nothing like Will.