Elsie-Rae's Having a Baby

Papa Don't Preach

So, I haven't heard a single word from Will since he walked out after I told him that I was pregnant. Aaron asked me for his number, apparently, he wants to gob off down the phone at him, but to be honest, I can't be bothered with the drama of it all. And Sam keeps nagging at me to tell mum and dad, but I can't; I'm not quite ready for my 'Papa Don't Preach ' moment. And like, I'm no Madonna, Will and I aren't in love and he certainly isn't going to marry me!

But I suppose that's just the way life is, things don't usually happen when you're ready for them, everything is sent to test us I suppose. It's all my own fault, I haven't kept track of what Leroy's had to say about my star signs; I haven't opened the app in months.

Anyway, it was my first doctor's appointment today, and I'd hoped that Will would've been the one to come with me, but instead it was my dad who sat in the waiting room with me.

"So, are you going to tell me why we're here?" he asked while he sat next to me flicking through the latest copy of OK magazine. I think he already had an inkling.

I knew that I should probably try to explain why I'd barged into his office while he was in the middle of a meeting with Dean and dragged him here with me. If I didn't tell him while sat in the waiting room, when would I break the news?

And then this woman with a baby came in and sat near to us, god, and had I not already been pregnant I would probably have come over all broody. One look at the mother would've soon put that stupid idea out of my head — she had bigger bags under her eyes than my mum did before she had her facelift. Her cardigan was inside out and there was a massive milky sick stain on the shoulder. In a few months that would be me — a zombie-eyed woman who couldn't even dress properly.

Then the baby started giggling at something, and its mother smiled the biggest smile and things made a little more sense.

I guess I must've sat there for a little while because the next thing I knew my dad was nudging me with his elbow, "Elsie, come on," he said.

"Huh?"

"Elsie-Rae Thompson?" the doctor called my name, again.

Fuck! I practically ran down the corridor behind him, my dad with my handbag slung over his shoulder took a leisurely walk as if we had all the time in the world. I felt faint and thought that I might pass out as I sat opposite Doctor Murray in his small room in the arse end of the surgery. I didn't want to be there, I wanted to get up and run out of his room and the surgery altogether, I didn't care if the people in the waiting room thought I was some kind of lunatic, they wouldn't be wrong.

I wanted to run away from everything.

"So then Elsie, what can we do for you today?" The doctor's voice was soft and reassuring; it almost made me feel at ease, almost.

Shit!

I didn't say anything for a few minutes, the three of us sat in silence except for the ticking of the wall clock. The silence was only broken by the sound of my dad doing one of those deliberate little coughs — he does it all the time, especially when my mum bumps into someone she knows and spends ages talking to them in the aisles of the supermarket.

Well, it was now or never. "Okay, well, I err, I got sick. And then my period was late, well, what I mean is, it never came. I did a test. It said I was pregnant, so I came here, to see if I am. Pregnant I mean." I looked over at my dad and he was all pale-faced, I thought he might fall off his chair.

"We won't do another test, those home kits are as good as ours," the doctor said to me.

And there was me hoping that he'd do another test and tell me that it had all been a BIG mistake. My dad didn't say a word.

"Is this good news Elsie? How do you feel about it?" Doctor Murray spoke again, his reassuring voice filling the silence.

I don't know. Maybe. No, no it wasn't good news, it was the worst news. "Yeah, it's a bit of a shock, that's all. Unexpected, you know?"

"When was your last period?"

I was grateful that my dad wasn't embarrassed by period talk, in fact over the years he'd probably bought more tampons than I ever had.

"I don't know. Maybe a couple of month's ago." I said shrugging my shoulders. "I don't even know how this happened, I'm on the pill. I thought it was supposed to be ninety-nine per cent effective?"

I watched him as he got this little wheel thingy out of his drawer and began to turn it. I sort of wished that I had one, a dial to turn back time. I don't know how far back I'd go, maybe back to when I was a kid when I had no worries and before I met any of those knobhead blokes — I definitely wouldn't waste even a single day on them if I had my time again.

"It's a bit difficult for me to give you an estimated date seeing as you don't know how long you've been pregnant," he said, "but I'd say we're looking around the beginning of May — the first two weeks maybe." He turned to look at something on his computer screen, "I'd like to get you in with the midwife and booked in for your scan as soon as possible, how does Tuesday at twelve sound? You can see the midwife and she'll arrange a dating scan for the next available appointment." 

"Yeah, that's good." I'd agreed without thinking about the implications of getting out of work, again. I suppose I could just throw another sicky, they were the norm these days anyway.

"Congratulations Elsie, I'll be seeing you again in a few weeks. Take care of yourself. And congratulations to grandad too," Doctor Murray said while shaking my dad's hand.

"Jesus Christ!" my dad said as we walked out of the doctor's surgery. "You could've given me some kind of warning Elsie-Rae Thompson, what are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"

"Sorry."

"I need a drink," he said dragging me into the nearest pub. 

We sat at a table in the corner, he downed two pints of lager and a Jack Danie's and coke, "it's no wonder I'm grey, between the three of you and your mother. And four grandchildren, I'm not even old enough to be a grandad. Your mother is going to be insufferable, you know that, don't you?" He was certainly making up for how quiet he'd been in the doctor's office. "I suppose you want me to tell your mother with you, do you?"

Of course, I did. I just smiled at him.

"Come on then, let's get this over and done with."