falling for you [m.s.]

seventy four

they hadn't talked lately. and gwen still hadn't told him about the pregnancy.

"hey." gwen smiled at her husband.

"hey." mark says looking at her.

they just stood there not talking. both of them didn't know what to say.

"uhm, do you know where derek is? i wanted to ask if i can get my job back." gwen asks.

"oh. derek quit." callie dismisses her. "webber is chief again."

"plus, it is way to early for you to get back to work." mark said, now with a concerned voice.

"i feel good. i need to get things back to normal." gwen replies.

"so you just went away, not telling me where you are and just come back to get things back to normal? are you kidding me?" mark asks forcing a laugh.

"do you know where chief is? because if not, i'm just gonna go search him myself." gwen tells them.

"gwen, we need to talk about this. about what happened." mark insisted stepping closer to her.

"no. i'm fine. there's nothing to talk about. if you excuse me i will go and search for the chief." gwen says before walking away.

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gwen was walking down a corridor when she found richard standing there.

"chief." gwen greets him.

"oh, dr.shepherd. welcome back." richard greets her smiling.

"thank you, sir." gwen nods.

"we missed you here. the place isn't the... same." richard slowly says.

"i was in la at addison's. i just want to get my job back. and since i heard that you are the chief again. i thought you can give me my position as head of cardio back." gwen smiles.

"did you got cleared for surgery?" richard asks.

"what do mean, cleared for surgery? who has to clear me?" gwen furrowed her brows.

"a psychologist. everyone of the staff has to get cleard by a psychologist." richard explains.

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flashback

"gwen, i leave for work." mark says stepping into the bedroom.

gwen lay in bed with her back to him.

not moving. not talking.

"i'll be back at seven." mark adds hoping for some kind of respond.

he didn't get one so he sighed closing the door.

it was now one month till the shooting. two days since gwen got discharged from the hospital.

since then she lay in bed, not moving an inch.

she just wanted to do nothing besides sleeping.

gwen thought about the shooting every single moment.

the moment when the bullet shot and killed her baby.

at the thought of her baby she started crying again. she missed it.