falling for you [m.s.]

one hundred fifty six

after being in the hospital the whole night gwen searched for some coffee.

she was tired because she couldn't sleep all night.

not only did she felt physical pain but also mentally.

the guilt gnaws at her bowels.

she felt guilty for not telling mark. but she couldn't handle the look on his face when she'd tell him.

she knew that she has to tell him. but she's afraid.

only imagine the look on hailey's face when she founds out mommy is going to die.

she suddenly stopped walking feeling the need to just lay down in the bed again to cry.

she was about to turn around when she saw mark walking up to her.

"morning." he greets with this big smile that makes gwen's stomach fill with butterflies even after all those years. "you didn't come home last night."

"yeah, i had a surgery with robbins and after that i just wanted to lay down." gwen explains brushing a hand through her hair.

"oh, anyways, just wanted to show you something." he says taking something out of his pocket. it was a paper. "hailey just draw this picture and look she wrote mommy and daddy correctly for the first time."

gwen took the picture. it was a drawing of her, mark, piper, callie, derek, amelia, the whole family. they all stood in front of their house smilling holding each others hands. hailey even wrote everyone's name correctly without help.

it was perfect.

she didn't know why but she started crying.

what if this is the last picture hailey draws that she will see?

"gwen, what is it?" mark asks stepping closer hopefully getting an answer why gwen was acting weird the last weeks.

"it's just... i'm proud. i'm a proud mom." gwen says giving him the paper back. "must be the stress. i don't know why i'm crying."

"if something happened you can tell me." mark reminds her as he put a hand on her shoulder. "i'm your husband, gwen and you've been acting weird these days. so, if you want to talk, i'm here."

"i know you are, but nothing is wrong. i'm okay." gwen assures with a nod. "it was just the stress and lack of sleep."

it was quiet for a few seconds both not knowing what to say.

mark wanted to press further why gwen acted like she acted.

gwen only wanted him to end this conversation, so that she isn't telling him about the tumor unintentionally.

"i was about to go get a coffee, you want one, too?" gwen asks him hoping to change the subject.

"i can't, actually. i have a surgery in a few." mark dismisses.

"oh, okay, then. i don't want to hold you off any longer." gwen chuckles before walking past him.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

she did consult after consult. trying to take her mind away from her tumor.

away from death.

she did everything to cloud her mind with something else other than ct scans, medication and chemo.

"you need to bring him to ct." she tells a nurse before taking off the yellow gown to walk down the hall.

she about to walk around the corner to get some scans when she saw something through the tiny window in the doors.