Chapter 4

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* Catherine *

I'd been home a for a little over two hours now. I grudgingly completed my homework, made myself a light snack and was now planted in front of the TV.

I was too distracted to really be paying attention to what was on the screen in front of me, instead I was trying to ignore my bouncing leg and the small tight knot that was starting to build in my stomach.

A feeling I had unfortunately become all too familiar with lately.

I was headed for a spiral, I could feel it and that terrified me.

'Fuck' I mumbled in frustration as I stretched out on the couch, running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to ease some of my tension.

It didn't work.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and decided I'd go for a run. Summer in Australia meant the sun didn't set until late, I still had a good few hours of daylight left so I decided to make the most of it.

I needed a release. I needed to exhaust my body and mind in an attempt to block out the fucked up voices of the demons living in my head.

As I made my way to my bedroom to change into my workout gear my phone buzzed in my hand leaving me in two minds as to whether I should check it or not. As usual curiosity got the better of me and as I looked down at the screen I could see I'd gotten a text from Beau.

Beau: what you up to babe? :)

Sigh.

I knew he was getting too close, I needed to nip this in the bud before it went any further.

As my fingers hovered over the phone, I recalled his touch on my skin and just the thought of his hands on my body sent an involuntary shiver up my spine.

To be fair, it wasn't just the thought of him touching me that made my body react this way, it was the thought of anyone touching me that caused the same reaction.

Well that's not completely true.

It didn't apply to Joe.

I thought after what had happened that night I'd never let anyone touch me again, but then Joe came into my life and everything I knew and everything I thought I knew went right out the window.

He was my saviour.

Yet I couldn't save him.

*** Flashback ***

The sun had just set over the horizon and the stars were slowly beginning to take over the dark sky as the salty sea air nipped at our skin.

'Baby girl, say something' Joe said softly as he gripped my hands in his own.

'Joe... it... it can't be...' I whispered, hating myself for not being able to look him in the eye.

This couldn't be happening, it couldn't be true. Joe was the strongest person I have ever known. I was a numb, hollow shell of a person when we met and he picked up all of my broken pieces and selflessly helped me put them back together.

At hearing Joe's awful news my mind instantly went to a dark place, I knew I had to be strong for him, just like he had been for me but no matter how hard I tried I felt myself breaking into a million pieces all over again.

As if sensing my turmoil Joe shifted his body and pulled me into his lap with ease, his strong muscular arms holding me tightly as he placed a sweet kiss on my forehead.

'My beautiful baby girl' he said softly as he gently tucked a stray lock of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek and tilting my face towards his.

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