away; b.e.

Chapter 32

Billie's being difficult.

"Can you please come cuddle meeeee?" I plead. I've been trying to get her to cuddle me for the past 30 minutes, but she's just so heavily invested in her phone.

"Billieeeee. Bil. Bubba. Bubs," I go on and on. She doesn't even respond. I take a pillow from behind me and throw it at her. It hits her head and she looks up at me with her resting bitch face.

"Really? A pillow?" She laughs, walking over to me.

"Yes, a pillow. Now cuddles," I open my arms and she lays down. Our flights at 3 in the morning and it's 2 PM now.

A bunch of music videos have been released for her songs, so like Bad Guy, Bury a Friend, Xanny, and other songs.

~

"Thanks man," I say to the waiter. Billie and I got hungry so I went to the best vegan place in Manhattan and picked up some food for us. As I turn around to leave, my eyes lock with Lily's.

Lily?

"Oh. Uh hey," she looks down to the floor.

"Hey," I reply.

"What're you doing here?" She asks.

"Picking up food for me and Bil. You?"

"Came back here. There's nothing holding me in LA," she says. I nod.

"Did you love me? Or was I distraction to you? I need to know. I've been wondering for awhile," she fiddles with her fingers.

"Uh, I honestly don't really know. Love is a tricky word. But I do think I was using you to get over how I felt toward Billie," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. She nods and walks toward me, slowly.

She's now standing right in front of me. "I loved you," she says before kissing me.

I push her off. "What the fuck, Lily?!" I yell. She scoffs and walks out the restaurant. As she leaves, I see Billie standing there, with her jaw dropped, with a hurt expression on her face.

I run out to try to get to her. "Bil, it's not-," she cuts me off.

"I don't want to hear it. I thought you cared," she says through tears, before running away.

"Bil, wait. Please," I fall to the floor. The world goes black.

~

"Miss? Hello? Are you ok?" I open my eyes to see the guy who gave me my food waving his hand. I groan, holding my head.

"What the fuck happened?" I ask.

"There was a girl with blue hair who ran away and you fell shortly after," he explains.

Shit. It's all coming back to me.

"Oh fuck. I gotta go," I quickly say before getting up from the floor and sprinting toward the hotel.

~

I've looked throughout the entire hotel and upper east side. It's about 11 PM now. Apparently I was out cold for 2 hours.

Think. Where would I go if I felt like crap?

Central park.

For the first few years of my life, I lived here in Manhattan. Central park was my safe space. Then I lived in Brooklyn. Then back again in Manhattan. Then, ending up with the Dorirans in Queens.

I run toward Central park and enter.

Shits huge.

Water fountain.