away; b.e.

Chapter 7

"So where do I start?"

"Anywhere" she responds.

I sat on my bunk, my legs dangling at I sat at the edge of my bunk, while Claudia leaned against Finn's bunk which is across from mine. Finn was also there, I just wanted him there so I don't have to explain everything all over again.

"I'm a foster kid. I never met my biological parents. I bounced from foster home to foster home, for a few years I lived on the streets, participated in underground fights. Got my ass handed to me good amount of times, until I became champion. I always struggled with my mental health. Then Drake and Ashley Dorian fostered me, they are both addicts, Drake an alcoholic and Ashley addicted to heroin, among others. Drake wasn't that bad, at least when he is sober. Ashley on the other hand, can go choke on a dick and die for all I care. Last year, 2 days after my birthday, on April 30th, I decided that I wanted to end it all. I became the laughing stock of the school because I missed a three on the buzzer that would have made our school qualify for the playoffs. I was nice to everyone, helped whoever I could, no matter their clique. I was on varsity, runner up for captain. Then everyone turned their backs on me.

So that day, I came home, put my things down in my room and headed to the kitchen. I didn't bother writing a suicide letter, 'cause no one would care if I were gone. I took the chef knife from the knife set, and started cutting. I didn't stop until Drake stumbled into the house, landing on the couch. I washed the knife with soap and put it back. I wrapped gauze around my wrist and applied pressure to stop the bleeding. I went up to my room and wrote 2 letters, one to Lauren Sanderson and one to Billie. This was about a week after 'Don't smile at me' was released. Anyway, I wrote them then went to an alley and burned them, not wanting to place a burden on either of them. I took an Uber to this building in the city. After 112 stories, I was finally on the roof. I climbed up onto the ledge, standing just inches away from plummeting to death," I stopped, taking in a deep breath, fighting back the tears of sadness, anger, and frustration back.

Claudia, put her hand on my shoulder.

"You don't have to continue if you don't want to." I shook my head, "It's fine. I inched closer to the end, and then the elevator doors opened and Billie walked through the door on her phone. She saw me and dropped her phone. She slowly walked towards me, trying to convince me to climb down. After that, I told her how people called me 'worthless' and 'unwanted', then she said, 'If you won't live for yourself, live for me. I know I just met you, but please, if you were gone, I'd be broken because I could have helped you in any way right now, but I would have failed. You aren't worthless, you aren't unwanted because I want you here, and you aren't a burden. You would place an actual burden on the people around you if you jump.' I'll never forget those words. I got off the ledge and broke down in her arms.

We talked a little more, then we both decided to leave. Fast forward a year later, I was walking to school and I saw someone laying on the floor asking for help. I didn't know it was Billie, I crossed the road without checking for cars and fought that guy. Then I had to hide Billie so she wouldn't get mobbed again. I told her how I was cheated on and that my girlfriend of one year cheated on me with my best friend of 8 years. How my teammates turned on me, I lost my spot on the varsity team and lost my position as captain. Then she needed help getting to MSG. I helped her, then she suggested that I come on tour, I agreed and went to pack my things. I got emancipated, and here we are," I finish. A tear fell on my sleeve, I didn't even realize I was crying.

Claudia squatted down, so we were on the same level. She moved my head up with her hand to establish eye contact, then she engulfed me into a big ass hug which Finneas joined. We broke apart and said, "Well she was right about one thing, you aren't worthless and you are wanted." I smiled and nodded.