away; b.e.

Chapter 113

"fuck come here," billie whispered, pulling me closer to her. the hot water from the shower spraying directly at us. she pushes me against the wall and kisses me hungrily. 

she moves down to my neck, making sure to leave her mark...or marks.

she comes back up and kisses me again.

"i love you so much," she stared into my green eyes and i got lost in hers. all i saw was love and endearment and passion. i was hers and she was mine.

You know, it's like I could still feel her lips on my neck, nipping and biting, leaving the mark. It's been over a year and a half since i actually saw that love and endearment in her eyes. The little nose scrunch she would do before and after she'd kiss me.

The memory of that time in the shower kept replaying in my head. I snap myself out of my memory and I close the water and get my towel and wrap it around myself.

I brush my teeth and wash my face, brushing my hair.

I go into my closet and change into black cargo pants and a red crewneck with Jordan 4 Breds.

It was around 12 and I have to be at soundcheck at 1:30, 30 minutes before Billies set ended.

I knock on Shays door. "Dude I'm going out for breakfast, you want to come with me?"

"Uh me and Tyler have plans already, sorry!" She yelled through her door. I leave it at that and just grab my keys and go down to my car.

After a short 15 minute drive, I pull into the parking lot to a small local diner and parked my car. I turned off the engine and just sat there.

I took a deep breath before grabbing my notebook, leaving my car and going into the diner.

"Emilie! Long time no see!" The owner, Andrés De León, greets me.

"Andrés! Yeah, I've just been so busy, but I got some time on my hands and I'm hungry, so," I say, smiling.

"Well just pick any seat and you want the usual?"

"Yeah that'd be perfect, Andrés, thank you!" I sit down at the first booth parallel to the window booths.

I open my notebook and flip to this one specific page of a song i'm finalizing: Mansion. It's one of the hardest songs I've written in awhile, almost as hard as How Could You Leave Us and Therapy Session, but not quite as hard.

Mansion is a song about me dealing with past memories and current struggles. Mansion is the title track for a small project with songs including, Intro, which is going to be part of a chain of 'Intro' songs, Mansion, obviously, and All I Have.

I continue to write verse 2 of Mansion until Andrés comes over with my food. I quickly close my book and push it aside as he sets the plate and cup down.

"Four freshly made waffles with strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries on the side with an iced mocha with sweet cream cold foam," Andrés put everything down and smiled.

"Thanks Andrés," I smile at him and he nods before walking away. I open TikTok on my phone and scroll through it while I drink my coffee. I take a bite of my waffles while I saw this one video about me.

It was a clip of me from my live yesterday, me talking about if I met my soulmate. The song started off as quiet background music until after the clip of me ended and it became so much louder as it showed old pictures and videos of me and Billie. The audio was Black Days Out - Future Island Remix and some account named ghastlyp made the sound.

I liked the video and opened the comments.

crying

i miss them together sm ☹️