Young Justice Trash

Insults and Theories

-its almost part 60, what should I do?-

"I'd make a gay joke, but Wally's parents already did that..."

Wally scoffed. "Well at least I'm funny."

"Funny jokes get overused. How was your last relationship?" Dick had to dodge the wrapper pelted at his face.

"What's going on? M'gann asked, wondering, justly, why her friends were fighting. 

"Some stupid competition where they insult each other." Conner frowned.

"Why?" She snorted.

"I... Don't know."

Wally squared his shoulders. "If Girls lead me on, then they don't even talk to you."

"Girls Talk To Me!"

"Well... everyone needs a gay bestfriend..."

They were in a standoff, having both used the gay card. Artemis entered.

"What the hell are they doing?"

"Insult fight."

"Oh! Let me try!" She hopped into the battlefield. "Your hair looks looks like cheeto dust and once you asked me whether Philadelphia is a state." She turned to Robin. "You're a pixie, and look particularly Fey."

"HEY!" Dick whined.

"DUDE, NOT COOL!"

"Oh come on, that was Nothing!" She scoffed. 

"It's only okay When I call Robin Gay!" Wally spat.

"Oh, in which case, you're gay too." She threw herself onto the couch next to him. "Whats on TV?"

"I don't care." Dick was a bit angry at her still. "Where's Roy?" He wanted to complain about her.

"I don't care." she mocked, flipping through channels.

"Let's watch this!" Wally said.

"This is a Kid's show." She judged.

"It's 'Some Assembly Required'! It's good!" Wally objected.

"It's for eight year olds!" She sneered. "I mean, Robin might like it, cause he's a child, but you're Sixteen!"

"I'm NOT!" Dick protested. "It's just actually good."

"ITS GOOFY." She replied. "If you want to watch Kids TV, at least watch Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn."

The three continues arguing over TV romote when Roy entered. 

"What's going on here?"

"We're watching Some Assembly Required, but Artemis wants to watch Nicky Ricky Dicky and Dawn!" Dick complained.

Roy confiscated the romote. "You're wanna watch kids shows kids shows and THAT'S what you're watching" He rolled his eyes. "Have some Class; watch Mr. Young." He changed the channel and left, stealing the romote.

They watched TV together, forced into watching some randome show. at some point Artemis saw something poking out of Wally's backpack.

"What's this- WHOA!" She laughed. "What A BABE MAGNET!"

Wally flushed and yanked the condoms back. "They were handing them out at school... better safe than sorry!"

"Yeah, Cause YOU'RE getting laid!" She laughed. "How many blow out jobs you got this weekend? Negitive eighteen?"

"A whole lot more than you!" He argued.

Roy came back in as he heard the shouting. "What's going on?"

Artemis held a condom up. "These were in Wally's bag! I guess he's got a dick appointment later-" She laughed. 

Before Wally could argue, Roy stepped in to defend his honor. "DICK APPOINTMENT? IT'S ASS APPOINTMENT!"

"DICK APPOINTMENT, CAUSE HE'S GAY!" She shouted.

"YOU THINK WALLY'S A BOTTOM?"

"YOU THINK WALLY'S A TOP?" She replied.

"WALLY'S A TOP, ROBIN IS A BOTTOM, PAY ATTENTION!" 

Wally and Dick just sat there, mortified. 

"What The Fuck?" Wally uttered.

"LOOK!" Roy exclaimed. "YOU'RE MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR INCORRECT OPINIONS!"

Dick covered his face, he was horrified. It felt like everyone's eyes were lingering over him. 

Wally was also looking... Traumatized. He turned up the volume on TV to drown out what everything going on. They covered their ears and stared at the TV. 

They waited out the arguement until Artemis got distracted by the TV. Roy thought it was kinda cute that the kids got so easily distracted; it made it easy to win fights against them. Artemis didn't even finish her sentence before she turned away to watch the show.

"Okay, well, I have a lecture in forty minutes. So bye Sonic," He scruffed up Wally's hair. "Later, asshole " He yanked slightly on Artemis' ponytail, she groaned a little, but they were glues to the TV. "Bye bye Birdie." He squished Robin's face in one hand and patted his hair a little. He strolled towards the zetabeam.

"Wait." Wally reached into his bag and tossed a condom at him. 

"Thanks... your mom doesn't want another slip up." He sprinted out before Wally could try to punch him.

-EDIT: It turns out 'Some Assembly Required' and 'Mr. Young' were only broadcast in Canada... YTV is great, ya'll are missing out!-

-EDIT 2: I've been updating 'Headcanons (WIP)', so keep checking it for new prompts you can request.-