The Crown Sinners

70: Twisted Hidden Suffering

"I'm so sorry... Ate," he kept repeating with a broken heart.

Nakita ko si Justice na halos nanghihinang lumapit sa akin habang umiiyak. He looked so hurt, and mortified. He looked like he was about to kneel down because of what he heard from me. Parang hindi ako kaya lapitan, dahil baka masaktan n'ya ako.

"H-Hindi namin alam, Ate... Hindi namin alam..." halos magmakaawa s'ya habang papalapit sa akin, habang lumuluha. I slowly reached my hand to him, although, Rebel wouldn't let me go from the hug.

Justice went to us with a really heartbreaking expression as he slowly hugged me with Rebel. Paulit-ulit s'yang nagso-sorry at nakikita ko 'yong matinding pagsisisi at hinanakit sa mga mata n'ya. Parang sinisisi ang sarili.

"It's not your fault..." I whispered to the two of them. Mas lalo lang yata silang umiyak dahil do'n. All the hurtful and heart wrenching memories when we were young came flashing inside my head, kung hindi nila ako yakap paniguradong nasa sahig na ako ngayon.

I saw Law avoided my gaze. I smiled at him with sparkling eyes because of the tears pooling in. Harper slowly held his hand, as if gesturing him to join us, and he looked at Harper with so much emotion—but the profoundest one would be pain.

He slowly walked towards us, as if every step were filled with thorns and blades. Ang hirap makitang nanghihina at hirap na hirap si Law. He was always confident, and tough... pero ngayon, halos lumuhod na s'ya sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman n'ya.

He covered his eyes with his arms, because of my gaze at him. I could see that he was really trying his best not to show me his tears, but he couldn't help it. He slowly went near me with tears cascading his cheeks.

"Ate... kasalanan ko... Ate... s-sorry..." Para akong sinaksak nang sobrang talas na patalim sa puso ko sa sinabi n'ya. Lalong-lalo na no'ng lumapit s'ya sa amin at ikulong kami sa yakap n'ya.

Dire-diretso ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko dahil sa kanilang tatlo. Hindi naman sila dapat mag-sorry, eh. I was the one who was supposed to apologize for everything. I was the one who owe them an apology.

"I'm sorry... Ate's sorry..." Ako naman kasi 'yong dahilan kung bakit hirap na hirap sila. Kung bakit kinailangan naming lumayo at magtago. At kung bakit lumaki silang nasasaktan at may mga sugat sa puso.

I didn't know how long I was hugging the triplets. Then I saw Gabby, silently shedding tears for us. I smiled at her. She was probably the one... I owe the deepest applogy. I made everything so hard, and hell for her.

Humiwalay ang triplet sa sakin, at patuloy pa rin sila sa pag-iyak, at hinayaan nila si Gabby na lumapit sa akin. I saw how Gabby hesitated, but I opened my arms to her, and she ran to hug me, while bawling like a child that she was.

"I love you... Gabby..." I whispered, and she was choking on her tears. Ni hindi makapagsalita at niyakap lang ako nang sobrang higpit. Hindi alam ang sasabihin, hindi alam ang mararamdaman.

"I'm sorry, Gabby. Ate's sorry for everything..." Halos mawalan ako ng boses sa pagsasabi ng bagay na 'yon. Isa na yata 'yon sa pinakamasakit na paghingi ko nang tawad. It was so long overdue... it was so late.

"I d-don't blame you... Ate... because I love you..."

Sa mga salitang 'yon. Sa mga salitang 'yon ako halos mapaupo sa sahig, habang umiiyak nang malakas. Halos mawalan ako ng boses, at ng hininga nang marinig ko 'yon. Halos habulin ko na ang hininga ko sa matinding hinagpis.

"Gabby... I don't deserve it..." Halos ibulong ko 'yun sa hangin, at napaupo sa sahig sa sobrang pag-iyak. I felt an arm wrapped around me. Hindi ko man lingunin alam kong si Akakios 'yon. I embraced his arms.