The Crown Sinners

101: Nameless Sun's Cry

#TCS101: Nameless Sun's Cry

It was such a long night. And the air was eerie around the South. Akakios finally had the chance to talk to the Saude. He told me that it was peculiar because the Saude didn't really talk; he just stared at him like reading his whole life and soul.

I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. But, at least, we were a step closer to our goal. However, that consolation wasn't comforting. All I felt the whole night was the image of a child pierced through by the arrow and how I was too late to save her.

I could have saved her; I was faster, I was stronger, if only I were a second earlier, she'd not be dead. Ang daming buhay na ang nasaksihan kong nawala, at madalas ako pa ang pumuputol sa hininga nila.

Seeing a child—an innocent child at that—still gave me a heavy feeling.

That was really when I realized how heavy what we were doing. It wasn't just for my grandparents to be free from the Domain. It wasn't just for the throne. It was life. Hundreds and thousands of lives... we were now holding all of it.

And the choices we were making... weren't going to be easy from now on.

Today...

I lost an innocent child. But... I protected another child and other people who were with us...

Nang mag-umaga tumulong kami ni Biblee sa lamay no'ng bata. It was so quiet. There were no reactions at all. Everyone was just mourning. Some people we weren't familiar with came, too. It was just like a scene from a movie.

A silence in the air before the glass broke, a stillness before the loud screams echoed.

Ni si Biblee na palaging madaldal sa mga tao rito, hindi makapagsalita. She knew that trying to comfort nor saying anything wouldn't help. All of a sudden, it felt like everyone was mute. And it gave me goosebumps.

Akakios was devastated with the news. He went again to Tinsel Saude to talk to him. He wasn't going to stand anymore after what happened to the storage and an innocent child. Those people from the Marquis were doing their usual things.

Sobrang sahol nila. Parang walang batang namatay. Parang wala silang kasalanan. Nagawa pa nilang magtawanan at mag-inuman sa bayan. They were continuing their lives and living it lavishly like they owned the place. It made me feel sick.

I wanted to turn everything upside down. How could they?! How could they?! I never thought I would ever feel helpless again; I never thought I'd feel these kinds of emotions because we were practically in the right direction to our plans.

If you see it in an expansive view, everything was on track. We should be celebratory about it. Pero bakit ganito? Ang hirap palang maging masaya kapag nakikita mo 'yong mga ganitong bagay. Kapag mismong mga mata mo ang nakakakita nang ganito.

I discovered the real meaning of why Akakios told us that even the lives of the so-called sacrifices should have been included and counted in this grand plan... because we were now experiencing it firsthand.

And I didn't like this feeling one bit. It felt like I was accountable for everything that was occurring.

It wasn't about just throwing your life for others. It wasn't just because you wanted to look suitable for people's eyes. And it wasn't because he was trying to play a hero.

He was aware that no matter what we do and what move we make, bloodshed would occur, but he was also trying to minimize the damage—trying to save me—us... from regrets that would haunt us forever.